Quadrama! The Whirlwinds of Love and Loathing
by RedMonocle
Summary: In a distant post-zombie future, two teens come together to write the script of a dramatic sci-fi romcom webseries. Growing up is already tough enough without all the drama, but they can handle it without messing up, right? Humanstuck!KatNep with mild multishipping interactions (Karezi, Fefnep, etc.) and various fantroll pairings. UPDATE: Episode 8 uploaded.
1. Date or Friend?

**A/N: **

******[All characters except for the fantrolls belong to Andrew Hussie, the creator of Homestuck. All fantrolls in this fanfiction were created by me.]**

**And welcome, friends, to the premiere of _Quadrama! the Whirlwinds of Love and Loathing_. There have been some formatting kinks, but I've worked them out for the most part, if you'd be willing to accept these {} as greater-than and less-than signs (they don't show up for some reason). This Humanstuck piece has been a long time in the making, so I do hope you enjoy episode one and all the episodes to follow.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Two teens, familiar with one another, sit side by side in a high-tech internet café. One of them grins ear to ear with bright eyes that dance between her computer screen and her friend, who she considers to be her date. The other… lets his head fall with a bang to the clear space in front of the keyboard.

"You know, Leijon… I could've been anyplace else right now, and yet I chose to spend the last fucking afternoon of my spring break _here_. In a café with creepy, greasy-faced guys playing poorly-made hentai games. As they drink and drool out their lukewarm coffee and chewed muffin bits into slurry puddles on their laps." The boy exhales a groan from the back of his throat, clearly disappointed with himself. "I have no one but myself to blame. How you roped me into this shit, I will never fucking understand."

"Come on, Karkitten." She huffs, dismayed to hear his lack of enthusiasm. "Don't tell me you're giving up on me already! We haven't even started writing yet."

He sighs, "Then please, if you want to write this fucking script, I'd prefer you not call me that."

"Well, _Karkat_, I prefer you'd not call me 'Leijon'." She replies cheekily. He only blinks in response, unamused.

Karkat begins, "Fine then, Nepeta—"

"I prefer Nep." She chimes in. "It sounds cuter, so…"

"Okay then, _Nep_." Karkat pauses a moment after the syllable passes his lips. "Huh. Nep. Yeah, that's got a ring to it."

"So does _Karkitten_." She says, sounding slightly smug.

"Don't push it." He warns. Picking up his backpack, he digs through for a fresh notepad and a clean flash drive. "So are we gonna fucking write this or what?"

"Oh! Right. I'll show you what I have so far." Nepeta leans down to reach into her satchel for her sketchbook. By then, the serving bot comes by with their orders: a peppermint latte with candy-apple shortcake and sugary green milk tea with a frosted pistachio muffin.

"Hey! Thanks." Karkat turns to the serving bot, giving a warm but weak smile. The serving bot does not seem exactly pleased.

"Sure. Whatever." It drones, before rolling away. He sighs. The boy had only been trying to be polite to the bot, and this is how it treats him? Honestly, who's the one bringing these bots into the world with such lousy programming?

Finally, after flipping through countless pages, Nepeta makes a sound of satisfaction and nudges Karkat with the robotic tail her moirail had made for her.

"Here," she hands him the sketchpad, and takes up her tea, "I've got nine characters sketched down, and all their bios are figured out, unless you want to add to them." Karkat begins perusing through the pages as his date, who he considers just a friend he's hanging out with right now, continues to explain after taking a sip, "I was thinking, since you're a pretty serious and thoughtful critic with romcoms, that you were the best person who could help me figure out which characters belong in which quadrants with each other, like who fits better purrsonality-wise and which pairings will have dynamics that play well into the storyline. Honestly, I didn't really trust myself with the job because I would've literally shipped all of them together in any combination, so that wouldn't have worked out very well. Also—"

"Whoa, wait, hold on." Karkat scoots closer to Nepeta so he can point something out to her. "Nep. Why do they all have horns?" He then moves an index finger over the neck of a certain character. "And why does this guy have these things on his neck? What's with the fins?"

"Okay," Nepeta sighs, "Well, you see, those 'things' are gills, because Rumnut's a sea-dweller. And all of them have horns because they're trolls."

"Trolls? Aren't those like wrinkly-skinned little gremlins with raggedy hair and shit like that?"

"Well, not these guys! They're _my_ rendition of trolls. They're like, aliens, and they live on a planet called Curntle. And they have like, this hierarchy of blood color and everything. It's really cool."

"…fuck, Nep. You didn't tell me this was going to be a sci-fi series."

"Oh, come on! I just wanted to mix things up a little! Give it a chance!"

Karkat squeezes the bridge of his nose between his fingers, "But this changes everything!"

"Does it really?" she murmurs sadly, stopping Karkat from complaining further. "I mean, they all still have the same romantic experiences that we humans do. It's not like I did something stupid like set up a romantic culture with only one quadrant in it."

"Well… yeah. That… _would_ be stupid."

"It's not that difficult. I tried to keep it simple for you, and… I just wanted to have some fun with it too." She seems discouraged, like Karkat won't even consider looking any longer at the characters she put her heart and soul into. But he won't do that. To not acknowledge her creative spirit is just plain wrong to him. And if there's anything that Karkat admires in her, it's her imagination. He would never dream of putting her down for having one.

Guilty for making his friend feel this way, Karkat looks over the Rumnut character again. The troll has a comprehensible bio, and it is pretty interesting. There are a few words scribbled in there that he doesn't understand but… he supposes that it's nothing he can't ask Nepeta.

He reads through all nine of them, interest definitely piqued. They all have such rich personalities (well, Satlie and Chishu could use some work, but they're fairly decent). Some of them seem like they're made for each other, like there's no way it's a coincidence that they match up as perfect kismeses and matesprits.

With a lopsided smile, he shrugs, "Yeah, I can make this work out."

Karkat finds out that day that Nepeta's eyes sure do sparkle when she's happy.

* * *

_**Series Characters' Quadrants Chart**_

_Dansus Cygnet {gender fluid}_

_MATESPRIT-Lapine (crush)_

_MOIRAIL- Satlie Cintor_

_KISMESIS- Blende (crush)_

_AUSPISTICE- (for none)_

_Pernel Eferve {M} _

_MATESPRIT- (none)_

_MOIRAIL- (none)_

_KISMESIS- (none)_

_AUSPISTICE- (for none)_

_Satlie Cintor {F}_

_MATESPRIT- Chishu Anakon_

_MOIRAIL- Dansus Cygnet_

_KISMESIS- Gruide Sposea, Chishu (former)_

_AUSPISTICE- Dansus & Pernel _

_Lapine Hopsur {F}_

_MATESPRIT- Dansus (crush), Gruide (former) _

_MOIRAIL- Blende Apirra_

_KISMESIS- Rumnut (crush)_

_AUSPISTICE- (for none)_

_Blende Apirra {M}_

_MATESPRIT- Lapine (crush)_

_MOIRAIL- Lapine Hopsur _

_KISMESIS- (none)_

_AUSPISTICE- (for none)  
_

_Gruide Sposea {F}_

_MATESPRIT- Lapine (former)_

_MOIRAIL- Durpie (crush)_

_KISMESIS- Satlie Cintor _

_AUSPISTICE- Satlie & Lapine  
_

_Durpie Imajin {F} [Alt. REDDIE WRITER]_

_MATESPRIT- Rumnut Hellaz_

_MOIRAIL- Gruide (crush), Chishu (former) _

_KISMESIS- (none, but REDDIE has a crush on Lapine) _

_AUSPISTICE- Chishu & Satlie (former)  
_

_Rumnut Hellaz {M}_

_MATESPRIT-Durpie Imajin_

_MOIRAIL- Chishu Anakon_

_KISMESIS- (none)_

_AUSPISTICE- (for none) _

_Chishu Anakon {M} _

_MATESPRIT-Satlie Cintor_

_MOIRAIL- Rumnut Hellaz_

_KISMESIS- Dansus (crush) _

_AUSPISTICE-(for none) _

_*might be weird that a bunch of characters in someone's ashen quadrant already fill out another quadrant, but I thought it'd be a unique and interesting addition to their romantic culture, so hope you don't mind, Nep._

_Also, these are all malleable. As we progress further into the series, you can change these up as we go along. Have fun._

* * *

Pleased with his work, he sends the file via Pesterchum over to Nepeta, who doesn't seem to be online at the moment. But just when he's ready to log off, his matesprit logs on and pesters him.

GC H3Y HOT STUFF

GC WH4T H4V3 YOU B33N UP TO? {3

CG HEY TEREZI.

CG JUST SENDING SOME STUFF OVER TO THAT CAT-LOVING FREAK I DARE TO CALL A FRIEND

CG WE'RE GOING TO WRITE A SCRIPT FOR A WEBSERIES TOGETHER AND THEN MAKE A PITCH ONLINE TO SEE IF ANY ACTORS WOULD BE UP FOR PLAYING PARTS IN IT.

GC OOH WELL DO3SNT TH4T SOUND FUN?

GC 1TS B33N SO LONG S1NC3 1 LAST RP3D W1TH N3P3TA

GC HOW H4S SH3 B33N?

CG OK I GUESS

CG THINK I ALMOST MADE HER CRY THOUGH

GC :?

GC HOW COULD YOU DO TH4T TO H3R OF 4LL P3OPL3?

CG WELL, FUCK, IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS AIMING TO!

CG SHE GOT UPSET WHEN I STARTED FREAKING OUT OVER THE FACT THAT ALL HER CHARACTERS WERE ALIEN TROLLS ON A PLANET CALLED CURNTEL OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

GC OOH TH4T SOUNDS N34T }:]

CG YEAH

CG AND IT IS

CG IN FACT, JUST NOW I SENT HER THE SHIPPING CHART OF HER CHARACTERS

CG SHE WANTED ME TO SET UP THEIR QUADRANTS FOR THEM BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TRUST HERSELF WITH THE JOB

CG I GOTTA SAY, I REALLY HAD MY WORK CUT OUT FOR ME HERE

CG BASICALLY IT'S LIKE THEY WERE ALL

CG MADE FOR EACH OTHER

CG PERFECT MATESPRITS AND KISMESES AND SHIT

CG I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE PULLED THAT OFF WITHOUT PLANNING

GC …B4B3

GC UM 3X4CTLY WH4T G3NR3 4RE YOU GUYS M4K1NG TH1S W3BS3R13S?

CG IT'S JUST A DRAMATIC ROMCOM

CG WHY DO YOU ASK?

GC OH

GC 1 TH1NK

GC YOU N33D TO B3 3XTRA C4R3FUL 4BOUT WH4T YOU S4Y TO H3R WH3N YOUR3 WORK1NG ON TH1S PROJ3CT TOG3TH3R

CG OH YEAH, WELL, FUCK, I KNOW *THAT* MUCH. I'M AWARE OF HER GIANT FLUSH CRUSH ON ME

CG AND I'M PRETTY SURE I CAME ACROSS AS TOTALLY PLATONIC IN EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE

CG AFTER ALL, I'VE BEEN TIPTOEING AROUND THIS FOR YEARS WITH HER

GC W41T BUT

GC D1D YOU 3V3R T3LL H3R TH4T W3R3 M4T3SPR1TS?

CG …

CG WELL, NO

CG BUT I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS HYPERPLATONIC AROUND HER

CG I NEVER SAY ANYTHING TOO NICE THAT CAN MAKE HER THINK I'M RED FOR HER

GC K4RK4T

CG AND I NEVER SAY ANYTHING TOO NASTY THAT CAN MAKE HER THINK I'M BLACK FOR HER

GC K4RK4T! }:[

CG WHAT

GC YOU N33D TO T3LL H3R

GC STR41GHT UP

GC TH4T YOU DON'T F33L TH3 S4M3 W4Y

GC NO MOR3 T1PTO31NG

CG BUT I JUST EXPLAINED TO YOU THAT I'M HYPERPLATONIC

GC 1 DON'T C4R3 HOW HYP3RPL4TON1C YOU TH1NK YOU 4R3

GC YOU ST1LL N33D TO S3T H3R STR41GHT

GC L1ST3N

GC SH3 N3V3R OP3NS A CONV3RS4TION W1THOUT RP1NG

GC TH1NK 4BOUT WH4T TH4T COULD M34N

CG …

CG I DON'T KNOW, WHAT?

GC *S1GH* YOU MUST UND3RST4ND

GC TH4T N3P3T4 L1V3S W1TH ON3 P4W 1N H3R 1M4G1NAT1ON 4ND TH3 OTH3R 1N TH3 R34L WORLD

GC SH3 CONSC1OUSLY BLURS TH3 L1N3 B3TW33N R34L1TY 4ND F1CT1ON

GC B3C4US3 SH3 1S 4W4R3 TH4T 1N SOM3 M4TT3RS SH3 1S TOO FR4G1LE TO H4NDL3 TH3 WHOL3 TRUTH 3V3N WH3N 1TS SO BL4T4NTLY ST4ND1NG R1GHT TH3R3 1N FRONT OF H3R

GC SH3 C4N 4ND W1LL B3ND 3V3RYTH1NG YOU S4Y TO H3R 1M4G1N4T1ON SO TH4T 1T SOUNDS MUCH N1C3R TH4N 1T 4CTU4LLY 1S

GC HOW 3LS3 DO YOU TH1NK SH3 G3TS 4LONG SO W3LL W1TH 3QU1US OF 4LL P3OPL3 4S H3R MO1R41L?

CG …

GC SOM3TH1NG 4S 1NNOCUOUS 4S 4 COMPL1M3NT FROM YOU COULD SOUND L1K3 4 D3CL4R4T1ON OF YOUR UTT3R UN3ND1NG AFF3CT1ON FOR H3R

GC SO 3V3N 1F YOU TH1NK TH3R3S NO W4Y SH3 COULD CONSTRU3 4NYTH1NG YOU S4Y 1N 4 FLUSH3D S3NSE

GC TH1NK 4G41N

GC B3C4US3 SH3 WOULD B3 W1LL1NG TO B3L13V3

GC 4NYTH1NG

GC TO HOLD ON TO TH3 HOP3 TH4T SH3 ST1LL H4S 4 CH4NC3 4T F1LL1NG YOUR FLUSH3D QU4DR4NT

GC SO YOU KNOW WH4T YOU N33D TO DO, ROM3O

CG BUT TEREZI

CG FUCK

CG I CAN'T

CG I JUST CAN'T FUCKING

CG UGH!

CG I CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT

GC TH1S 1S M3 SP34K1NG 4S H3R FR13ND

GC S4Y1NG TH4T YOU B3TT3R FUCK1NG DO TH4T B3FOR3 SH1T C4N 3V3N CONS1D3R H1TT1NG TH3 F4N

CG BUT IT'LL BREAK HER HEART

CG AND IF SHE'S REALLY AS FRAGILE AS YOU SAY SHE IS, I DON'T THINK I CAN DEAL WITH HER REACTION

GC K4RK4T H3R H34RT 1S GO1NG TO 3ND UP BROK3N 31TH3R W4Y

GC YOU M1GHT AS W3LL DO 1T TH3 MOR3 CONS1D3R4T3 W4Y 4ND STOP H3R FROM L34D1NG H3RS3LF ON 4NY FURTH3R

GC 4 SW1FT, PO1NT3D ST4B 1S K1ND3R TH4N 4N UNCOORD1N4T3D ON3

* * *

The next day, Nepeta awakens from her nine-hour long catnap, takes her meds, and logs onto Pesterchum. Karkat's finished shipping chart is the first thing she sees, and it brings a smile to her face. He's online, so she pounces on the opportunity to pester him.

AC :3 {*ac squeals and rolls onto her back, excitedly flailing her limbs in the air as a reaction to the wonderful quadrants karkat has filled in for the characters*

CG KARKAT IS SO VERY FUCKING THRILLED THAT YOU LIKE IT

CG NOW KARKAT IS WONDERING WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NEXT WITH THIS SCRIPT

AC :3 {*ac has b33n wondering that as well*

AC :3 {*therefur, ac would like to start with the topic of WHO will be writing the script*

CG WELL, FUCK, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO WRITE THIS TOGETHER?

AC :3 {well, yeah *but ac was curious about how, as in whether or not efurry episode would be a collaboration or if we would take turns on script duty*

CG HM

CG KARKAT THINKS THE LATTER SOUNDS LIKE A BETTER ARRANGEMENT

CG AND HE THINKS IT'D BE A FUCKING GOOD IDEA TO SWITCH OFF BETWEEN EPISODES

AC :3 {*ac likes this idea very much, taking turns purr episode and whatnot*

AC :3 {*ac asks, "who will write episode one betw33n the two of us?"*

CG WELL FUCK IF I KNOW

CG MAYBE WE COULD FLIP A COIN?

AC :3 {*ac thinks that terezi is rubbing off on you and squeals because she thinks that's adorable*

AC :3 {by the way, you two seem pretty close *ac asks, "are you guys palemates?"*

CG UM

CG KARKAT WOULD LIKE TO KEEP HIS REDROM LIFE OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION AND FOCUS ON THE SCRIPT

CG AFTER ALL KARKAT NEVER FUCKING ASKED ABOUT EQUIUS, DID HE?

AC :3 {ahahaha *ac agr33s but holds onto her curiosity, purrsisting hopefully*

CG WELL FUCK, CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, DIDN'T IT?

AC :3 {*ac giggles appurreciatively at the pun, politely backs off the subject, and continues talking about the script* i've got a coin right here. heads or tails?

CG HEADS, SINCE I FIGURE TAILS WOULD BE YOUR THING

AC :3 {*ac smiles and flips the coin*

AC :3 {well karkat, seems like you've got script duty fur episode one

CG HOORAY I'M OVERJOYED

AC :3 {*ac detects a hint of sarcatsm in your response and laughs* we can discuss this another day, you know? brainstorm some things together befur we actually get down to writing.

CG SO I'M ASSUMING YOU WANT TO MEET UP AGAIN FOR THIS LITTLE OUTLINING SESSION?

AC :3 {*ac nods* i've got all the character bios typed up, so you can use that as a refurrence if you n33d to. how does furriday after school at my place sound?

CG SURE. I'M FREE THEN

AC :3 {okay! s33 you tomorrow {3

* * *

Nepeta's house is tucked away somewhere in town, but it isn't too far from school, so walking isn't too much of a hassle. The whole walk there is a temptation in itself for Nepeta, with Karkat's hand so close to hers. But she can't hold it, can she? That would be a bit presumptuous. Still, wasn't it safe to say the date went off rather well, considering that he didn't show any hesitation in coming home with her today? Why _not_ hold his hand on the way there?

Unfortunately, she isn't able to muster the nerve to do it, and, with an inaudible sigh, she twists open the front door with her house key. Her cat Pounce greets her with a cheek rub to her leg, and she kneels down to pick her precious pet up. That's when she sees pages of a graded history report lying scattered on the living room floor.

"Oh my—_fuck,_" she mutters the curse under her breath, letting Pounce go before bending down to gather up the sheets.

Karkat, surprised, asks, "Whoa. What the fuck happened here?"

"Ah, my sister left the fan on," she gestures, the first page in her hand. In bold red marker, a circled "D" is marked at the top. She lingers on it for a moment and exhales in annoyance. Karkat glances at the heading.

"You have Mr. English for history? Isn't that class supposed to be easy?"

"Yeah, well, his class is a real load of dogshit if you ask me. Just the other day, he literally showed us his vacation photos of him and his matesprit because he had nothing planned."

"Wow."

"Some history teacher he is." She waves the page, "this report was supposed to be on how the quadrants affected population regrowth immediately after the Survivors' War. And he marked me down because he didn't like my word choice. I mean, I was completely professional in tone! He replaced 'reproducing' with 'engaging in copulation' because, what, it sounds fancier to him or something?"

Karkat shakes his head in commiseration, murmuring, "For fuck's sake…"

"Anyhow, enough about him. Let's go to my room and get a start on brainstorming this script."

"…is your mom okay with you being alone with a guy in your room? I mean, I don't want to piss her off or something…"

"She's not even here right now. Don't worry about it." She adds cheekily, "Besides, you remember the time I snapped Ampurra's arm like a twig for trying to manhandle me in the halls, right?"

"For fuck's sake! I got it already!" Gesturing to the door way of her room, he continues, "As if I'd ever dream of defiling you or your room."

"Well then, purrfect." She opens up the door to her room for him, "Right this way, Karkat."

He enters her room, stuck between awestruck and shocked by her massive shipping wall. Papers are taped, stapled and pinned in every square inch they can cover of the paint on that side. The amount of photos, drawings, and screenshots of people in both fictional and real-life relationships is astounding, almost frighteningly so. It reminded him all too well of the movie "A Beautiful Cerebellum", a flick that he and John had once compromised upon.

"Holy. Fuck."

"Astounding, isn't it?" she purrs, sauntering over to open her laptop. "Now, let's get started, shall we?"

And thus, once the brainstorming had begun and Karkat set his fingers to the keys, their story had been set in motion.


	2. EPISODE 1: Get Out of My Hive

**A/N:**

**So this is going to be the usual formatting. With every episode, there will be at least one chapter of the Humanstuck side before each of the fantroll episode scripts. Just thought I should note that. You can see more about my fantrolls (and some spoilers, I guess) on my tumblr (which is on my profile).  
**

**-Reddie **

* * *

Character Expositions:

**Pernel Eferve** is a troll with a sharp Paris-accented voice and one hornlet growing on the underside of each horn, giving them a butterfly-like shape. His symbol is two swirls attached to separate circles connected by a line, and his usual outfit is composed of sweats, a long-sleeve black sweater, plain boots, and a gray-striped scarf; he also wears black eyeliner and has a handlebar mustache. His weapon of choice is a palette knife, which he also uses for artistic hobbies. His lusus died when he was only a grub, and so he grew up an orphan, surviving on his natural strength and hostility. As hobbies, he enjoys pottery and knife painting. His intense platonic hate knows no boundaries, and the only trolls outside his circle of scorn are Satlie and her matesprit. They are his only real friends, even though he only considers them acquaintances at best. He has no romantic attachments in any quadrant because he believes romance is ridiculous. The imperial drone has come for him once and he has already evaded it by killing the couple next door and stealing their buckets. He is only slightly guilty for this, as he justifies their murder by the fact that they had trespassed on his property several times in the past. A simple soul, he is happiest and most at peace when he is left alone, so he prefers not to have company; however, he will on occasion hang out with Satlie or her matesprit. He is 9 sweeps old and his blood color is concealed because he does not want to be associated with the religion connected with his blood color, as he believes it is frivolous bull-crock.

**Dansus Cygnet **is a sea-dwelling troll with a masculine London-accented voice and swan-shaped horns, one of which is constantly wrapped in gauze for the use of quick shoe repair. Their symbol is the new constellation sign for Cygnus, and their usual outfit varies between boy ballet dancewear with loose pants and girl ballet dancewear with a thin, translucent tutu sewn on; they may or may not wear breast forms underneath their clothing, regardless of their outfit, and they always wear their prescription vision goggles and battered pointe shoes constantly repaired with gauze. In fact, their weapon of choice is their pointe shoes, which are heavily weighted at the toe tips. They spend more quality time with their lusus, a giant swan with four legs and a unicorn horn, than anyone else. As hobbies, they enjoy interpretive dancing and ballet, but they dance destructively due to the weighted nature of their shoes. They can't resist dancing in spacious areas, with music at any volume, or (especially) under the allure of anything they deem "graceful". Their sexual romantic attraction is based deeply on how graceful they believe someone to be by nature, awkwardness being a big turn-on in the caliginous quadrant. They have snuck into Pernel's hive on occasion to dance in his vase room, but not without leaving obvious evidence/broken vases. Their moirail, Satlie, often has to come over and save them from Pernel's wrath, but their trespassing on Pernel's property is the only reason the solitary artist even knows anyone. They are 9 sweeps old and their blood color is concealed for its mutated color.

**Satlie Cintor** is a troll with a calming, pleasant voice and two differently shaped horns: one being thick, nubby, and downward-curving, the other being thin, sharp, and upward-curving. Her symbol is the upside-down U-based constellation symbol for Ophiuchus, and her usual outfit is composed of a U-necked black long-sleeve, a white silk undershirt, black tights and a fancy uneven wrap-around dark-teal skirt with one white stripe and two curved-stripe pattern leaflet flaps peeking out from under it at the shortest side of the skirt; she also wears dark teal lipstick and a bit of black eyeliner and her shoes have the same stripe pattern as the leaflet flaps. Her weapon of choice is a rope made of colorful ribbons all braided tightly together, used for suffocation. Her lusus is a giant cobra who is more or less at home often enough. As hobbies, she enjoys sewing, doing make-up tutorials, arranging braided bouquets, and braiding anything she possibly can. She has a habit of sleeping naked. Her matesprit was originally her kismesis, but he was too fragile to handle her level of sexual hatred, so their relationship ended up flipping over to the flushed quadrant. She acts as the unofficial auspistice for Pernel and Dansus, her moirail. Dansus can be a handful at times, and they don't seem to be holding up their end of the relationship, so the moirallegiance is failing. Adding to that, Dansus has a flush crush on her rival, so that strains their pale relationship even further. On the upside, she has a stable relationship with her kismesis. They rarely, if ever, engage in combat, preferring to express their hatred to each other by means of snarky comments and intense, rough sex. She is 8 sweeps old and her blood color is teal.

* * *

Episode 1: Get Out of My Hive

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Pernel's hive. Pernel is peacefully asleep in his recuperacoon, snoring softly. Suddenly, a crash is heard from outside, in his vase room, subsequently waking him up.)

Pernel Oh gog, they're back. (Pernel goes over to his husktop and waits for it to turn on impatiently. It's not turning on. More crashing is heard from the vase room as the minutes tick by. He starts grumbling.) Oh, fucking shit! (He marches outside to the vase room. Music from the movie _Courageousheart_ is playing softly from a boombox in the corner. A lithe but muscular girl is seen dancing a haphazard yet somehow graceful ballet.) Dansus! I thought I told you not to dance in my hive anymore!

Dansus (with a masculine voice) I beg your pardon, Pernel! I just couldn't stay away! Your vase room is so spacious! Perfect for my ballet! (She—or they, rather, since this character is gender-fluid—does a pirouette, breaking another vase in the process.) Oops. Trying not to do that.

Pernel (enraged) Get out of my hive right this instant!

Dansus (backing away from him slightly) But Pernel! You don't understand! I have like, _barely_ sufficient room at my hive to dance! (They accidentally back into another vase, causing it to topple over and break. This is the last straw for Pernel. He has lost all patience with them.)

Pernel (whipping out a palette knife) Dansus! So help me, I will _shred_—(Abruptly, Satlie enters.)

Satlie Dansus! Oh, there you are! I was worried sick! I thought we were hanging out at my place tonight! (Hastily, Dansus scurries to hide behind her.)

Dansus Satlie, save me! He was going to aggrieve me with that palette knife!

Satlie (turning to Pernel) Whoa! You know full well that's _not_ okay with me! Why didn't you just troll me online to tell me they were here?

Pernel (defensively) M-My husktop wasn't turning on! And meanwhile, I could just hear all my hard work shattering outside… (He puts away the palette knife and sighs.) Can you just get your moirail out of here already?

Satlie Not a problem, Pernel.

Dansus (protesting) But I'm not done dancing yet! Pernel, I promise I'll stop breaking your vases! I've been trying so hard not to this time! Please! (Satlie begins bestowing shush paps to her palemate as she drags them away.) Hey! Wait! My boombox! Satlie, if you're going to do this, at least get my boombox! Wait! (The door to Pernel's hive shuts as they make their exit.)

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens in Dansus's hive, which seems to be just as big as Pernel's vase room if not bigger. There is no door, so the two enter through the window. Dansus continues whining as Satlie throws them into their recuperacoon.)

Dansus (crying out) You forgot my boombox!

Satlie Let him keep it. You've got like eighty others piled up in here, I mean, look! (Satlie gestures to a stack of boomboxes.)

Dansus (whimpering) But it had my _Courageousheart_ soundtrack in there!

Satlie (sighing) I'll get you another for Twelfth Perigee's Eve or your Wriggling day, okay? (Satlie sits beside Dansus by the recuperacoon.) Why do you keep going over there? You know he doesn't like it when you dance in his vase room.

Dansus (innocently) I supposed if I was extra careful, I wouldn't break any of them this time. (Dansus takes on a pleading tone.) Please, Satlie! You _must_ understand! You know how I get when the power of (says this one italicized word gently, as is always the case) _grace_ just grips me! I can't just _stop_!

Satlie (She sighs, pondering in silence for a moment. Then, with a sly smirk, she inquires.) I feel like you're just covering something up. Hmmm… oh! Don't tell me you've got a caliginous crush on Pernel? It's almost as though you're trying to make him hate you!

Dansus (abashedly) That's not true and you know it! All my black feelings belong to that clumsy, corkscrew-horned stoner! (mumbling) I'm just too shy to make black advances and you know it…

Satlie Hush, hush. I know. (Satlie places soft shush paps upon her palemate's head.)

Dansus (in a huff) I do _not_ hate Pernel. He's _way_ too graceful to garner any of my caliginous sentiments…

Satlie (She gets up and looks around.) I'd say this space is sufficient enough for dancing.

Dansus (scoffing) Yeah, for interpretive maybe, but not for my kind of ballet… (They pause as they take off their ballet slippers.) Hey, Satlie?

Satlie Yeah?

Dansus My slippers are falling apart again. (They hold up a pair of sopor slime-drenched, battered pointe shoes. The years of wear-and-tear are badly concealed by gauze wrapping.) Could you fix them?

Satlie (sighing heavily) Sure. What are moirails for? (She takes the wet ballet shoes and sets them to the side. The setting then transitions to a later time on the cliff-side stairs, with Satlie walking back up to her hive at the top and dragging Dansus's slippers behind her. She mumbles to herself.) Gog, Dansus…

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens again in Pernel's hive. This time, it's morning, and Pernel is busy sculpting new vases with a palette knife. He seems rather content with himself.)

Pernel (offhandedly) At least they didn't break my better ones… (Finishing up the new vase, Pernel stands and fetches Dansus's boombox. He walks over to his husktop and attempts again to turn it on. He smiles once the screen lights up. He logs onto Trollian. His trolltag—or username, so to speak—is PersonalPotter. Dansus's trolltag is IntertidalInterpretive)

PP hey DANSUS. you LEFT your BOOMBOX. do YOU want IT back?

II (There is no response, but they are clearly online. It says so in the sidebar.)

PP if YOU don't WANT it BACK, can I keep IT?

II (They send a looping music file with an excerpt from the song "I Want It that Way" by the troll Backstreet Boys. Pernel presses play.) _TELL ME WHY, AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEART ACHE_

PP (closing file window) dammit WOULD it KILL you TO type A fucking YES or NO?

II (They send another looping file from the same song. Pernel presses play again.) _BUT I WANT IT THAAAAAAT WAY_

PP (closing file window again) i DON'T even UNDERSTAND what YOU'RE trying TO say 75% of THE time. D:{

PP do YOU want YOUR fucking BOOMBOX or NOT? D:{

II (They send another looping music file with an excerpt from the song "Blurred Lines" by troll Robin Thicke. Pernel has to press play.) _I KNOW YOU WANT IT_

PP (sighing) can I keep IT then? I:

II (They send another looping music file with an excerpt from the song "Hey Ya" by troll Outkast. Pernel presses play in irritation.) _ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT_ _ALRIGHT ALRIGHT_

PP (instantly closing file window) ok THANKS jegus

PP but I'M coming OVER to GIVE back YOUR courageousheart SOUNDTRACK. i DON'T want THAT. }:P

II (They resend the previous looping music file. Pernel plays it, thinking it's something different.) _ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT_ _ALRIGHT ALRIGHT_

PP (Utterly annoyed, he logs off.)

LL (A new person logs on. Her trolltag is LeatherLover. She doesn't usually type; she usually sends picture memes and gifs, but she thinks Dansus is worth dropping her quirk for. She has an intense flush crush on them.) Hey, Dansus~ You want to swing by my place for a date around the fifth twelfth tomorrow? (She uses the winky face emoji.)

II (They secretly share the flushed sentiment with her and drop their usual quirk as well.) Why certainly! I'd _love_ to~

LL Well~ I'll see you then. (By then, both of them log off. Scene ends with a glimpse of LeatherLover's rabbit hat.)

—END OF EPISODE 1—


	3. High Hopes in the Wrong Places

**A/N:**

**Well, just so you know, I am years late to the Homestuck party (and still in the middle of reading it), so, if they start to seem a bit OOC, pardon me on that.**

**Chapter warnings: mentions of Eridan trying to get touchy-feely and being a meanie. **

**So! I guess I'll stop blabbing now! Enjoy the story~**

**-Reddie**

* * *

"This is excellent… but unacceptable, Nepeta." Equius shakes his head disapprovingly, reading over Karkat's script for episode one. "You must drop him at once. No moirail of mine should have to deal with such _distasteful_ swearing in her theatric literature." He slides the script across the lunch table back to her.

Nepeta grits out through her teeth, "It's a _romcom webseries_, Equius, not a Broadway production! Besides, people in comedy swear all the time!"

"Yes… the _uncouth_ ones do, with their _lewd_ talk of sex and privates. But _civilized_ comedians do not have to stoop so low. They need not drop the 'F' word as a cheap adjective to make their material appealing."

"What is so wrong with the word 'fucking' anyway? If anything, that word deserves some respect! Didn't 'fucking' save the human race from extinction after the Survivors' War?"

With a furious blush spread across his face, he pleads, "Nepeta, please, watch your language! A dignified lady much like yourself should not stoop so low as to—"

"'_Stoop_ _so low'_? Ha! I am so sick of hearing that phrase! Swearing outside a professional setting does not make a person less 'dignified' or however you want to put it!"

He glares, "He has obviously been a bad influence on you. You must cease fraternizing with him at once." Equius then is suddenly met with a splash of milk. Before he is aware of what just happened, Nepeta's agar milk-container rolls down his belly onto his lap.

"You don't control me, you classist weenie!" Nepeta growls, about ready to get up until a certain hipster asshole starts strolling towards them. He leans his elbow on the table and snags a seat next to Nepeta. She glares. "What do you want, Ampurra?"

"I heard you speakin' of weenies," he replies, smirking as he slings an arm around her, "and this is your last offer, because mine's all yours for the takin', hon."

Nepeta has never punched anyone so hard before in her entire life before she takes off running.

* * *

Around 6:12 AM this morning, Karkat wakes up to find out that he's sick. And now he can't stop coughing. Swaddled up in his sheets while searching online for the homework he missed in class, he texts Terezi after school to tell her he's sick, just in case she was planning a surprise visit (she tends to do that every now and then, not that he minds very much). And, much to his dismay and relief, he finds out that she landed herself in detention, so she won't have the time to visit even if she wanted to.

He is also surprised to find that she is hanging out with Nepeta in detention as well. His first worry can't help but verbalize itself once she asks him the magic question.

—YOU H4V3NT TOLD H3R Y3T H4V3 YOU?

—DAMMIT TEREZI!

—I WILL GET TO IT ON MY OWN TERMS

—HELL, IN FACT, I PROMISE I'LL TELL HER BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON!

—JUST PLEASE, I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU

—I'M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES AND NOSE RIGHT NOW

—*DON'T* SAY ANYTHING TO HER ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!

—4W BUT DO3SNT POOR POOR N3P3T4 H4V3 4 R1GHT TO KNOW?

—SH3 1S MY FR13ND 4FT3R4LL

—4ND DON'T TH1NK JUST B3C4US3 YOUR3 MY M4T3SPPR1T

—TH4T 1 W1LL W1LL1NGLY L13 TO COV3R UP FOR YOU 1F SH3 4SKS

—B3C4US3 TH4T 1S TRULY D3SP1C4BL3 4ND UNJUST

—4ND YOU KNOW TH4T 1SNT HOW 1 OP3R4T3

—FINE, FINE!

—IF SHE ASKS, I GUESS I GOT WHAT'S COMING TO ME

—BUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING SHIT DON'T TELL HER IF SHE ISN'T ASKING TO KNOW

—AND DO *NOT* BRING UP THE TOPIC

—H3H3 SUR3 TH1NG HON };]

—YOU 4R3 D4MN 4WFULLY LUCKY 1 LOV3 YOU

—…TH4NKS

—I MEAN "THANKS" DAMMIT!

—FUCKING SHIT…

—OHOHO 4M 1 R34LLY RUBB1NG OFF ON YOU TH4T MUCH?

—W4Y TO M4K3 M3 BLUSH~

—SHUT UP!

—IT WAS A FUCKING TYPO….

—TH3 "A" 1S NOWH3R3 CLOS3 TO TH3 "4"

—DONT TH1NK YOU C4N FOOL M3 W1TH YOUR PR3C1OUS 4DOR4BL3 3XCUS3S~

—WHATEVER!

—I GUESS I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY…

—iloveyoutoookaybye

* * *

"Aww, well isn't that precious…" Terezi swoons, putting her phone away before the supervisor catches her texting. Nepeta, writing with legs crossed and tail swinging close to the ground, looks up from her digital notebook to Terezi.

"If you don't mind me asking," she whispers carefully, "who were you texting just meow?"

"Nobody too special. Just Karkat." Terezi says dismissively, the smallest hint of sarcasm on her lips. Adroitly changing the subject, she switches off, "Say, how did you even get into detention?"

Nepeta looks back down at her digital notebook, replying, "I punched Ampurra in the face for making unwelcome advances. Now he's in the nurse's office."

"Ah, yes. I understand. Serves him right." Terezi drops her tone. "I saw what he tried to do to you last month in the hall."

"I'm fine. He's just really annoyingly full of himself, that's all. It wasn't an attempt to molest me like everyone's been saying, just him grabbing my hands and whining like a baby in my face was all. It'd be a real relief to get him off my back." She taps something out in her notebook, then sets down her stencil. "You know, sometimes I really don't get boys like him."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't get how it's so difficult to take a hint and give up, you know? I've blatantly told him a thousand times before that I wasn't interested in having him fill any of my quadrants."

"Not even kismesissitude?"

"Oh, _ew_, I hate the guy, but I don't hate him _like that_, ugh. Besides, he's with Vriska in that department, so, even if I did, there'd be no point in chasing after someone who's already taken." Terezi bites her lip at this, not that the cat girl notices. Nepeta looks up at the ceiling, leaning back in her seat. "I'd get it through my head if I were him. I mean, I could get over stuff like that. I've done it easily before."

"Ooh, pray tell, with who?"

"Feferi, believe it or not. She used to be my matesprit, and we were really close. Almost the same person, you could say… but Ampurra always lingering around sure made leaving an easy deal. I honestly don't know what she saw in him, really. I mean, I totally get that moirails can be hard to handle sometimes, but… even Equius has his redeeming qualities, you know?" She sighs, "I swear, she just… sat there and let him say the worst things to me. I think he had a caliginous crush on me then, and she was just trying to be supportive of him. Still, what kind of matesprit does that? Just… sits back and lets someone bully the person they love?"

"…I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's okay. I'm much stronger than I look, in case you couldn't tell. Just… I don't understand Ampurra… why would he want someone who clearly doesn't want him back?"

"Hope, I suppose. When somebody feels like they've got nothing left, hope's the only thing they can hold onto."

"True… but still, how hard is it to get? The heart doesn't have any off/on switches for love and hate. You just can't make someone feel the same way you do by just repeating yourself. People's hearts aren't mirrors." She continues writing, "Even so… I guess hope isn't so bad when you're not exactly sure yet. I guess… I'm saying this because, well I won't give away any details but, I think I finally have a chance with this one guy… after all this time. Oh, Terezi… have you ever loved somebody so much that it hurt?"

Terezi can't help but feel a bit guilty once she hears that, but for Karkat's sake, she keeps quiet. He promised he'd say something by tomorrow, and he had better damn well say it. Nepeta doesn't deserve to suffer through this.

"Yeah. I have."

* * *

AC :3 {hey karkat

AC :3 {well… um *ac finished episode two while she was in detention today. she requests that you not ask how she got there. anyway, she will send it to you lickety split!*

AC :3 {*ac requests that you pester her once you get this* if that wouldn't be too much trouble…

AC :3 {[Quadrama!-doc-x3i3]

AC :3 {by the way, i didn't s33 you in school today. are you sick? if you are, i hope you f33l better soon!

After sending the file, Nepeta logs off, lying there on her side, heart so full of hope that it hurt. The date went so well. It's impossible for her to imagine that he doesn't feel the same way at least a tiny bit. But she knows she's getting carried away, thinking like that. She had said it herself: people's hearts aren't mirrors. Still, a girl can dream, can't she?

As she falls asleep, he replies.

* * *

CG OH HEY

CG THANKS FOR THE SCRIPT, NEP. I'LL READ IT SOON.

CG AND THANKS FOR THE WELL WISHES TOO… THAT MEANS A LOT

CG SEE YOU TOMORROW


	4. EPISODE 2: Bulge-Blocked

Character Expositions:

**Lapine Hopsur** is a troll with a low, androgynous voice and short pointy horns. Her symbol is the new constellation sign for Lepus and her usual outfit is composed of any color sweater with oversized sleeves, striped over-the-knee socks (or stockings with garters), a spiky collar with a matching "pale-tag" (a little metal charm in the shape of her moirail's symbol), a white bunny hat with ears she can tuck her horns into, and dusty bunny slippers. Her weapon of choice is a riding crop, which she also uses as part of a light BDSM kink for her flings. Her lusus is a giant hare who is often asleep in the troll weed and vegetable outside her hive and awake more often during the day. As hobbies, she enjoys having tons of black flings with a harem of friends with caliginous benefits and burning things of all shapes and sizes (so long as it seems to be abandoned or unimportant, that is; she isn't a vandal). She is often teased for being short and she will never wear pants, but she will wear pantyhose for special occasions. She is in a pale relationship with Blende because she felt bad for having burned down his house, having mistaken it for someplace abandoned due to its wretchedly messy state. She and Blende are so close that they share the same recuperacoon, but they don't always sleep together due to Blende's crepuscular nature. She is Satlie's rival, and she has a flush crush on her rival's moirail, Dansus, as she admires their talent in dancing quite deeply, and they have never mocked her for her height. She is 8 sweeps old, nearing 9, and her blood color is indigo.

**Blende Apirra **is a rainbow-drinker troll with a soft, meek voice and curly-corkscrew horns that point upward, one of which holds a matching "pale-tag" (a little metal charm in the shape of his moirail's symbol). His symbol is the new constellation sign for Chamaeleon and his usual outfit is composed of a one front-pocket white hoody with puffballed-drawstrings, a black short-sleeve shirt, gardening gloves, white sneakers, and jade-green slacks with black curlicue patterns. His weapon of choice is a calculator that can shoot laser beams, poison darts, and knives when he puts in numbers that multiply or add up to odd numbers. His lusus is a tiny chameleon with a poisonous bite that can kill a troll within seconds, and he seems to get along quite well with Lapine's lusus (their lusii may possibly be matesprits even). As hobbies, he enjoys gardening during the day, playing with snails, and smoking troll weed joints. He will literally do almost anything for chocolate. He smokes joints to decrease his more violent tendencies and keep his blood thirst at bay, and so when he goes without smoking for too long, he becomes a cocky asshole that is less afraid to harm others in order to get their blood. He is unaware that Lapine was the one to destroy his hive, and so, having believed that she saved him by taking him into her hive, he harbors flushed feelings for her, despite their pale relationship. He is the auspistice for Satlie and Lapine, and so he helps to keep Satlie away from black infidelity. He is 8 sweeps old and his blood color is jade.

**Gruide Sposea **is a mute troll with two differently shaped horns: one shaped like a wing and the other like a bird's head with a long beak. Her symbol is the new constellation sign for Grus and her usual outfit is composed of bronze cut-offs with a pocket chain, a dark cerulean headband, a bronze collar with an upside-down triangle charm at the throat, black sandals, black fingerless gloves, and a dark cerulean short-sleeve shirt with the sleeves ripped off; she also wears black eye-liner and has a paper-crane silhouette tattooed on each cheek. Her weapon of choice is rocks, which she throws at people who try to attack her. Her lusus is a three-legged crane, one of the legs having been reduced to a stump in a space fishing accident. As hobbies, she likes tinkering with and building tech, as well as space fishing and, occasionally, making desserts. She had become mute due to an injury incurred in the brooding caverns, and so she communicates by using the bronze collar she created to send telepathic messages to other trolls. Her headband is actually used to cover up an impaled third eye, which had also been lost a space fishing accident. She is Satlie's kismesis, and she had formerly been Lapine's matesprit as a mistake; Gruide actually can't handle true matespritship very well because she has a hard time understanding the flushed quadrant, and because of Lapine's kink for BDSM, she had believed that her relationship with Lapine had been of a caliginous nature the whole time, until Lapine confessed otherwise to Gruide. She is Blende's friend because he loves her chocolate desserts. She is 9 sweeps old and her blood color is cerulean.

* * *

Episode 2: Bulge-Blocked

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Lapine's hive. She is soundly asleep in her recuperacoon next to her moirail, Blende. Their horns—a sensitive part of troll anatomy—are touching, and Blende can't shift away. He is blushing profusely.)

Blende Uh, Lapine? Lapine, wake up… Lapine? (With a soft nudge, his moirail begins to stir.)

Lapine (groggily, with a yawn) Huh? (She turns to face him.) Oh. Evenin', Blende. 'Sup?

Blende (He is too embarrassed to say their horns were touching.) Um, nothing much. Sorry for waking you up… didn't mean to!

Lapine (she stretches and yawns again) Nah, nah. It's cool. (She gets out of the recuperacoon and begins changing out of her slimy pajamas.) Can't nap all day like a chump, can I? I got things to do. Or rather, I've got _people_ to do, hehe. (She is naked at this point but Blende does not care because he has been living in her hive for close to a sweep now. He is used to seeing her naked.)

Blende (smiling) Got another black fling coming over? I just rolled some fresh joints last night, so it'd be great to share some after the wham-bam.

Lapine (smiling slyly) Sorry, dude. Not tonight. I don't know if they'll even be able to smoke and I need to make a good impression first if I wanna get down to the wham-bam eventually. (She pulls on her underwear and pantyhose. The pantyhose surprises him because she doesn't wear pantyhose unless it's a special occasion. He then realizes that this is not just some fling, but a date. And it seems that this date is not of a caliginous nature.)

Blende So a red date? (Lapine nods in reply) Whoa, with who?

Lapine (sing-song) My flush crush.

Blende (stunned, because he never suspected that Dansus was the dating type, since they're always hanging around Pernel) ah—I—whoa, _wow_! That's… that's… (He shifts down to a soft but sincere tone.) that's great, Lapine… (He seems troubled, since he has flushed feelings for his moirail, but he tries not to let it show because he doesn't want to make her worry. Though it would be pretty obvious to anyone else, she doesn't notice her palemate's ongoing emotional struggle at all. She changes into an indigo sweater, the same color as her blood.)

Lapine I'm kind of nervous though. This would be the first red date I've been on. Like ever. I mean, I never even _kissed_ Gruide, not to mention she didn't even feel the same way when we were matesprits, so like, this is just... a _little_ intimidating. (She lowers her voice to a slightly dejected tone.) You know, I don't even think anyone has ever _actually_ considered me matesprit material before, so…

Blende No, no! Don't worry! I'm pretty sure it will go well! (He takes on a comforting tone.) Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure your date's gonna love you. I just know it.

Lapine Aw. Thanks, Blende. That's sweet of you to say. (There's a knock at the door. Lapine jumps up and speaks excitedly.) Hey! That must be them now! (She gets up to answer the door. The scene ends here.)

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens at Dansus's hive. They are currently playing a game of Ping-Pong with their lusus, a giant swan with four legs and a unicorn horn. Dansus affectionately refers to him as Swanpa.)

Dansus (serving the ball) I'm not sure if she'll like me… I mean, I really like her, but I'm afraid that she doesn't feel the same way, since she's only ever dabbled in black flings…(They speak dejectedly.) maybe I shouldn't go…

Swanpa Hey, no! (He swats the ball back to his dependent.) Don't be like that. You already told her you were going, so don't just back out without saying anything. That's just not alright. And you _know_ how I feel about flip-floppy behavior.

Dansus (sighing) I know, I know. You raised me better than that. (They swat the ball back to their custodian.)

Swanpa (The ball impales itself on the lusus's horn. Setting down his paddle, he takes off the ball and puts it to the side.) Why are you so worried? I'm sure things will go just fine! Have some confidence in yourself.

Dansus (consoled slightly, but still feeling a bit down.) Thanks, Swanpa. (Just then, Pernel knocks on the window. Swanpa goes over to open it up so Pernel can come in. But Pernel doesn't want to come in, and he stands there, squinting at Dansus in disgust.)

Pernel Well, here's your soundtrack. (He throws it to Dansus. His tone is flat and insincere.) Have a nice evening. (Pernel then quickly leaves.)

Dansus (jumping up and spinning around with the disc.) _Sweet!_ (They start to dance, but then hesitate.) But I can't start dancing now. I'll get lost in the music and then I won't be able to go to Lapine's place… (With much difficulty, Dansus places the disc down next to their husktop and starts changing into boy clothes for their date.) Well, I guess it's about time I head over then, before the tunes of Braveheart tempt me. (They walk over to the window.) Goodbye, Swanpa! I'm off!

Swanpa But wait! (Swanpa points to Dansus's feet.) You haven't any shoes. You'll cut your feet on the land-dwellers' litter-coated ground!

Dansus Oh my! It appears you are right! I must troll Satlie for my shoes immediately! (They turn on husktop and log onto Trollian.)

II (They send Satlie a looping music file with an excerpt from the song "Shoes" by troll Kelly. Satlie, whose trolltag is SilkySlithers, presses play) SHOES. SHOES. OMYGOG. SHOES. SHOES. OMYGOG

SS (closing file window) I'm HiSSSorry s:( they're not ready.

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "Hide and Seek" by troll Imogen Heap. Satlie presses play.) MMM WATCHA SAAAAAAAAY?

SS Yeah, I couldn't fix them. I'm gonna have to get you HiSSSome new ones. s:( Why do you ask? When do you need them?

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "We Are Young" by troll fun. Satlie presses play.) TONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

SS (closing file window) Why? Can't it wait? D:s

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by troll KT Tunstall. Satlie, somewhat exasperated, presses play.) I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO, I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO

SS (closing file window) What's so pressing that you can't wait for your shoes? D:s

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "Careless Whisper" by troll George Michael. There are no lyrics: only the infamous intro. Satlie hesitantly presses play.) _sexy saxophone music_

SS (not bothering to close file window) 0_o with who? (She is rather shocked.)

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "Same Love" by troll Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert. Satlie closes the previous file window and presses play for the new one.) MY LOVE, MY LOVE, MY LOVE, SHE KEEPS ME WAAARM, SHE KEEPS ME WAAAAAARM—

SS (closing file window before loop even finishes) D:s HOPSUR? YOU STILL LIKE HER? OMYGOG, DANSUS. NOT HER. YOU _CANNOT_ GET WITH HER! D:s

II (They send another looping file with an excerpt from the song "I Want It that Way" by the troll Backstreet Boys.) _TELL ME WHY—_

SS (again closing file window before loop even finishes) HiSSSHE WILL CHEW YOU UP AND HiSSSPIT YOU OUT I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING HiSSSHE HAS HiSSSO MANY FLINGS IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY TRust me, as your palebra, don't even HiSSstart with her. There are HiSSso many better trolls for you out there than her. I:s HiSSso yeah, I am NOT bringing your HiSSshoes tonight. It's for your own good. Just HiSSstay away. (At this point, Satlie logs off in a huff.)

II (lamenting the fact that they can't leave the house now that they can't get back their shoes, they send a looping file with an excerpt from the song "Everybody Hurts" by troll REM) _EVERYBODY HUUUUUUUUURTS, EVERYBODY CRIIIIIIIIIIIIES…_

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens up again in Lapine's hive, where it last left off with her answering the door. She opens it.)

Lapine (excited) Hey, Dan—(She switches her tone to something confused when she sees that the person at the door is not Dansus. It is Gruide, her former matesprit, holding a box.) err… Gruide? (She speaks in a more upbeat manner.) Gruide! Hi, Gruide… (She wants to conceal her disappointment, so as not to offend Gruide. She and Gruide are still friends, despite their break-up, and Blende's friendship with Gruide reinforces the exes' friendship. Lapine, however, does harbor light caliginous sentiments for her.)

Gruide (speaking via the telepathic device around her neck, since she is mute) "Hello, Lapine." (She directs her thoughts at Blende and opens the box.) "Look, Blende. I made chocolate chunk grubloaf. Want some?"

Blende (perking up) Do I! (At this, Gruide sets grubloaf down on a side table. Using a knife inside the box, she cuts up a couple of slices for him and herself. She then cuts up one more slice and offers it to Lapine, who takes it graciously. They all nom on it together and end up smoking Blende's home-grown troll weed. Gruide notices that Lapine seems upset.)

Gruide (directing her thoughts at Lapine) "What's wrong?"

Lapine (sounding stoned and dejected) Somebody else was going to come over tonight, but they never showed up. (She holds back her tears.) I was supposed to have my first red date with them! (She then bursts out crying.)

Gruide (comfortingly) "Aw, there, there. Maybe something came up. Did you try trolling them online?"

Lapine (sniffling) N-No. But still… (At this, Gruide goes over to Lapine's husktop.)

Gruide (turning it on for her) "Here. Try it."

Lapine (She logs on. The sidebar says Dansus is online.)

LL (Lapine sends a picture meme: a screenshot of Sean Bean, who played Boromir in _Lord of the Rings_, with the caption "One does not simply ditch out on a date.")

II (Dansus replies with a looping music file with an excerpt from the song "Gomenasai" by troll t.A.T.u. Lapine presses play nervously, perhaps expecting an insult, expecting that Dansus would tell her they thought she was a joke.) GOMENASAAAAAAAAAAAI FOR EVERYTHING…

LL (She closes the file window, slightly irritated, and sends another picture meme: a contour drawing of troll Nicolas Cage with the caption "You don't say?")

II (Apologetically, they send a non-looping music file of a whole song: "Nothin' on You" by troll B.o.B. ft. Bruno Mars. Lapine presses play, and Dansus then starts to type.) things came up. Sorry I couldn't make it. if it means anything, this song is exactly how I feel about you. Maybe next time?

LL (incredibly flattered, she types too) Oh~ (she sends a big heart emoji) Sure thing~

II and when I do come over~ (They send another non-looping music file of another whole song: "Sexy Can I?" by troll Ray J ft. Yung Berg. Lapine closes the previous file window and presses play for the new one.)

LL (She sends the blushing face emoji)

II ;3 (They then log off.)

LL (She is ready to log off too, but then someone new trolls her. Her trolltag is DissociativeDoodler.)

DD hey fellow shortling. :P i just finished a new erotic friendfic. wanna come over and see it tomorrow? ;P

LL (She sends a gif of an owl giving suggestive looks with the caption "…a bird of prey".)

DD lol kay :P see ya then. (With this, both log off.)

—END OF EPISODE 2—


	5. Favorite Indie Romcom

**A/N:**

**WHEN YOU SEE THE ROmcom reference, just know that I watched that lame/adorable/weird-ass indie film just so I could make a reference to it (seriously though, anybody who can apppreciate/relate to awkwardness humor should watch it because it's great ^_^). **

**And HOLY CR4P GUYS next episode will blow your minds (also, it'll be three chapters long, so heads up!). **

**Anyhow, please enjoy! Reviews, faves, and follows are always appreciated :) **

**-Reddie**

* * *

CT D-} I almost forgot to mention

CT D-} I left an hour ago for the district roboti% competition in Blustone and I shall not be returning until Saturday afternoon

CT D-} I'm quite sorry to inform you so late, my dear moirail

CT D-} And I also apologize for being unable to escort you home

CT D-} The rain does not 100k very merciful from where I am sitting

AC :3 {aw, it's alright Equius~ good luck at your competition! I know fur sure you guys are gonna kick butt!

AC :3 {also, a friend's walking me home today, so don't you worry about the rain~

CT D-} Thank you for your well wishes

CT D-} Hm… if you do not mind me asking, e%actly which friend is walking you home?

AC :3 {I believe that infurmation is not impurrtant for you to know ^_^

CT D-} Please do not tell me it is that 100d-tongued companion you dared to call your collaborator

AC :3 {…purrhaps it is? ^_^"

CT D-} Nepeta! No, why?

CT D-} I have already forbidden you from consorting with him any longer!

CT D-} If you care about me or your dignity, I e%pect stop this ridic001ous obscene project at once!

AC :3 {huh, well you can't do much if you're onboard a bus up to the meowtains…

AC :3 {So I'll m33t you halfway and I'll leave early, okay? Alrighty then, bye! Have fun at the competition~

CT D-} Nepeta! Cease this immediately!

CT D-} Te%t me at least! Nepeta! Don't just turn away from me like that!

CT D-} What kind of f001 do you take me for? Don't think I don't know your notebook is still on! You can't just ignore me!

CT D-} Nepeta please, answer me!

CT D-} I'm only trying to 100k out for you!

CT D-} I'm your moirail…

* * *

"What's that buzzing in your satchel?" Karkat turns to her, lifting the umbrella higher as they pass through a narrow space in the alley. Nepeta, frustrated, takes her notebook out of her bag, opens the sylladex app on her phone and captchalogues her notebook.

"It's nothing impurrtant. I have to say, I really like what you did for Dansus's typing quirk." Nepeta grins, "It's really something I can work with, I gotta say."

Karkat smiles weakly, giving a cough, "Nice to know you could make use of it. I thought it'd be clever, you know, since they love dancing so much. Music goes hand in hand with it. Oh! We're here." Passing under the awning, Karkat closed the umbrella and fished his house keys out of his pocket. "Say, is your tail alright? Wouldn't want it to short out in the rain."

"It's purrfectly fine," Nepeta answers, curling it towards him. "Don't worry about me. I know how to take care of myself on these things."

"Oh. Okay, well… that's a relief to hear," he mutters, swiping the key through the lock. The minute he enters, he's met with a juggalo's loud burp and the unmistakable fudgy smell of his moirail's hash pie.

"Well, if it isn't my motherfuckin' palebro!"Gamzee greets, tipping his bottle towards Karkat. In turn, the stoner glances over at Nepeta, "And I see you've brought along a righteous writin' sister. That's wicked, yo." He puts down his bottle and offers up a slice from the pie on the living room table. "Anybody want a motherfuckin' slice of this miracle right here?" Nepeta, somewhat hungry after a long day at school, makes a start for the slice, but Karkat puts an arm up to block her from taking a step further.

He groans, "_Please_ don't tell me you baked that here."

"Nah, Karbro. I'd never do that to you." Suddenly, Gamzee stands up and slings an arm around him, "Come on. What kind of motherfuckin' moirail you think I am, man?" The juggalo then casts up a hearty honking laugh, his mirth so infectious that it spreads over to Karkat at as well. Nepeta contains her blush as she joins in the laughter as well, thinking Karkat's laugh to be the most adorable thing she's ever heard.

Calming down, Karkat chuckles and takes Nepeta's wrist, "Okay, okay. Come on, Nep. We got some work to do."

"Karkat!" His father's voice calls to him from the backdoor.

He turns hesitantly, "Yeah, Dad?"

"Get in here and help your old man move this old shitheap computer to the basement!"

"Dad, just fucking store it in your suitcase's sylladex app and move it!"

"I tried and it's too fucking big, even piece by piece! We have to do this the old-fashioned way, son!"

"But Daaaaad," he whines, "I just brought a friend over all the way from school through the fucking rain!"

Sticking his head from the door way, he replies cheekily, "Yeah, well, your palemate dragged his ass all the way from Capriscio through the rain alone to see you, and you don't see him complaining." At this, Gamzee gives a burp and chuckle, patting his belly. With a snarl in his throat, Karkat throws his backpack on the floor, looking to Nepeta tentatively. She places her hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Karkat. Go help your Dad. I'll just be here with Gamzee in the meantime."

Heaving a sigh and casting a grateful look to her, he then shouts to his dad, "Fine! I'm coming over there!"

While Karkat is gone, Nepeta considers starting up a conversation with Gamzee, but he has already fallen asleep with the murmur of "miracles" on his lips and his head on her shoulder. She stares at him, wondering exactly what her moirail sees in him. Never has a day gone by where Equius hasn't acted like he was a servant with a flush crush every time they crossed paths with Gamzee in the halls. But, thinking about what Karkat's dad said about him coming over through the rain alone _all the way from another city_, she can't help but think that Equius must look up to Gamzee as a good moirail. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why.

* * *

Finally, Karkat comes back and makes a wave for Nepeta to come with him to his room.

Nepeta points to Gamzee, whispering, "Should I wake him up?"

"Just leave him there," he grunts, pushing his moirail aside and helping her up from under the baked bro. Gamzee collapses onto his side on the couch, curling up and beginning to snore. "Sleeps like a fucking brick… come on, Nep."

"Wait! Your dad doesn't have anything against a girl being in your room alone with you, does he?"

"Ha! Like I give a fuck if he does!" Karkat rejoins, rubbing his lower back, "That thing was fucking heavy."

"Silly… lift with your body, not your arms." Nepeta giggles.

With a sarcastic smile, he rolls his eyes at her as he opens the door, "Yeah, that's definitely useful to say right after I was done helping him."

Strolling in right behind him, she can't help but comment, "Gee, must be pretty nice to have such a great moirail, huh? He rode all the way through the rain for you…"

"You don't know the fucking half of it…" he murmurs, shaking his head. "Trust me, you don't want a moirail like Gamzee." But disagreement was the first sentiment in her head once he'd said that. Sure, after a few moments, it occurred to her that Gamzee's fudge pie had pot in it. But that was beside the point… Gamzee knew Karkat was writing a script with her, and never once did he disapprove. He never tried to get in Karkat's way. No, in fact, Gamzee _supported_ him and welcomed her with open arms, the way any good moirail should… unlike Equius at the moment. "Anyway. Enough about my redrom life. Your bedroom wall is that last place I want it to end up on, got that?"

She chuckles, "Hm. Sure thing."

"Fucking splendid. Glad to know that's been established _again,_ this time vis-à-vis." He holds out his hand, "May I see your notebook?"

"Yeah… just a moment…" she opens up the sylladex app on her phone, nervous to find out if Equius is still messaging her. But it is silent as she hands it over, much to his relief. However, she is dismayed to find several missed calls and unread texts on her phone. She turns it off immediately and shoves it in her bag.

"Now can you explain these revisions to me? What's a 'recuperacoon', 'wriggling day', and 'Twelfth Perigree's Eve'?"

"Alright, now you see…" As Nepeta seats herself on his bed in the midst of her explanations, she looks around at all the posters of pre-war and post-war romcom films. Her sights wandered from _Serendipity_ to _Hitch_ to _50 First Dates_ to _Shallow Hal_ to… whoa, was it really?

"Ah, I see. Thanks for clearing all that up." He nods, not noticing which poster she has fixated her sights upon.

"Karkat!" Nepeta gasps, "You've seen _Eagle v. Shark_?"

He blushes, "Oh! Umm, I just—" he tried thinking of an excuse to say he hadn't seen it, because everyone he's shown it to has thought it was the crappiest most awkward pre-war indie film they had ever seen. But Karkat would never admit out loud that it was actually his favorite indie romcom of all time.

"That's my _favorite_ pre-war indie romcom! I didn't think I'd ever know anyone else who actually liked it, let alone knew about it!"

Yes, he'd never admit out loud that it was his favorite indie romcom… until now.

"Same here..." he smiles warmly, giving a sheepish laugh.

"You know… this is gonna sound really stupid, but… I was kind of rooting for Jarrod and Eric as kismeowses."

"Really?" He seems surprised, "I don't know… they just seemed like regular childhood rivals to me."

"Nyeh, I just… when I think about it, all throughmeowt the film, he was so dedicated to his hatred for Eric, always phoning in that he was gonna kick his ass and stuff, training for their meeting fight so much that he almost lost all his bearings with his matesprit…" Nepeta swoons, "When I think about it, it really makes me melt, to think that someone could be that dedicated to their hatred for a guy for all those years. I could only dream of finding a kismeowsis like that someday." She sighs, "It really was a shame that Eric didn't reciprocate though."

Suddenly, it's like a lightbulb has exploded to life inside Karkat's skull.

"Holy fuck, Nep. That's it!" He makes a dash for his laptop on the corner and drags it over towards where they're sitting on the bed. It turns on instantaneously and his fingers fly to the keys as he types on a docx6ix-file.

She peers over his shoulder, "What is it, Karkat?"

"We've covered feelings in every quadrant so far," he states, typing with determination in his eyes, "except kismesissitude."

"You've had a kismeowsis before?" she looks away from him abashedly. When it comes to relationship writing, she's only capable of writing from experience. She knew it was coming. He'd already listed several caliginous crushes and one established kismesissitude long before the series started. Still, she didn't think this would come into play so soon. Sure, she could make some references to blackrom, but if Karkat takes on this angle now, how can she keep up? Would she screw up the script because she doesn't know how to portray two people in hatred together properly?

"No." He confesses without embarrassment. "But you've had a caliginous crush at least once in your adolescence too, right?"

"Yeah, but… I don't know… " Nepeta fiddles with her tail, "I'm not exactly confident in writing about a kind of relationship I haven't been in befur."

"It's okay. I'm going to start out with writing about crushes and former relationships. No covering the established relationships just yet. But, Nep," Karkat looks her dead in the eyes, "just so you know, fiction is a place for our fantasies too, not just our memories. When the time comes for you to write about this kind of relationship, just think about the kismesis of your dreams, got it?"

She stares for a moment, before nodding, "Yeah, I got it."


	6. EPISODE 3: Spades Babe

**A/N:**

**Okay, well, the script for this one is a little longer than the previous two. But with good reason: character development! Also, to anyone unfamiliar with a certain Let's Player (Cryaotic, for information's sake) on youtube, just look up 'sup guy and you'll a picture of what Durpie's lusus looks like.  
**

**Chapter warnings: mentions of past abuse in a kismesissitude. Also, to anyone with DID/multiple-personality disorder, warnings for my troll "self-insert". I don't know if she'll be triggering to anyone, and please forgive me if the characterization is off. I did all the research I could on both others' personal accounts and medical information, and I tried really hard with this one. **

**Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Character Expositions:

**Durpie Imajin** is a double-personality troll with a low-ish feminine voice and horns akin to dollop shapes. Her symbol is a curlicue dragon shape and her usual outfit is composed of a collared long-sleeve black shirt, a burgundy necktie, a light yellow schoolgirl skirt, black thigh-highs, and dark yellow sneakers with burgundy laces; she also wears her hair in pigtails and has a single bright red-rimmed monocle that she clips on the left horn. Her weapon of choice is a sharp mechanical pencil (with customized transformation features by Gruide), which is why she prefers close combat. Her lusus is a Giant 'sup guy, who is indeed male despite the usual trend of the lusus matching in biological sex to their dependent. He adopted her to save her from her previous lusus, who she has no prior memory of. As hobbies, she likes watching anime, reading comics, drawing fanart, and writing both friendfiction and fanfiction. She is actually about the same height as Lapine, but no one picks on her for it because everyone is afraid to upset her and trigger her other personality: REDDIE. REDDIE is an alternate personality of Durpie that is activated when Durpie is either too upset to cope with something (referred to as MustardREDDIE) or too inspired to put an idea on hold (referred to as HoneyREDDIE). While HoneyREDDIE retreats automatically after finishing up the expression an idea through some form of art media, MustardREDDIE requires someone's intervention for a personal problem before she can retreat back inside. Her matesprit, Rumnut, is the only person who knows how to calm down MustardREDDIE, given that he knows Durpie better than most other trolls due to the intimacy of their relationship. She is Lapine's friend with caliginous benefits, and she likes to share all sorts of fan/friendfictions with Lapine. Because Gruide was the one to upgrade her mechanical pencil, Durpie has a pale crush on her (which is indeed requited because Gruide enjoys talking to her and reading her sci-fi AU fanfictions). She was formerly Chishu's moirail and the auspistice to Satlie and Chishu, back when the two were kismeses, and she is the reason their relationship vacillated into the flushed quadrant. She is 8 sweeps old and her blood color is yellow/gold.

**Rumnut Hellaz **is a sea-dwelling troll with a semi-high-pitched androgynous voice and pointy super-tiny horns. His symbol is the new constellation sign for Ursa Major and his usual outfit is composed of a loose black vest, a too-big light yellow T-shirt, baggy gray-and-burgundy plaid pants and giant light yellow sneakers; he also wears damp stick-on bandages on the bridge of his nose and over his gills to help him breathe better on land. His weapon of choice is a super-amplified megaphone that sends out impacting sound waves whenever someone yells "woop" into it. His lusus is a big water bear who likes to ride along on his shoulder every now and then when Rumnut goes out. As hobbies, he likes to drink a Curntlian soda called reeb and watch anime with his matesprit. He can't smoke joints because he's allergic to land plants, and his moirail, Chishu, made his clothing for him as a Wriggling day gift. He met Chishu through his matesprit, and they've been close ever since. Rumnut is also very close to his matesprit, to the point where her alter REDDIE considers him a good friend (this is why he's the only one who knows how to calm her down when she's mad; everyone else is too afraid to get too close to Durpie because of REDDIE). He is 8 sweeps old and his blood color is burgundy.

**Chishu Anakon** is a one-eyed troll with a flamboyant androgynous voice and two differently shaped horns: one is wavy with a crescent at the end and the other shaped like a rattlesnake's tail. His symbol is the upside-down rod-based constellation symbol for Ophiuchus and his usual outfit is composed of an olive-color tight-fitting unzipped parka with muscle-hugging sleeves, a black vest-like shirt with white buttons, dark gray cargo shorts and black boots with cerulean straps; over his right eye, he also has an eye-patch with the same pattern as his matesprit's skirt. His weapon of choice is an axe that he also uses to harvest lumber for hive repairs. His lusus is a giant snake, half anaconda and half rattlesnake. As hobbies, he likes chopping up firewood, collecting abandoned umbrellas, sewing, and pole dancing. He is too emotionally fragile to handle a passionate kismesissitude, and he lost his eye as a result of a caliginous brawl from his former caliginous relationship with his matesprit, Satlie. She has long since apologized for it, and she was the one to make his eye-patch for him. They sleep over at one another's houses often and get along quite well because of their common interest in sewing. She tells him a lot about her moirail, Dansus, and as a result, he dreams of impressing Dansus with his pole dancing routine someday. His moirail and he get along on the grounds that they're both sensitive and don't hide their feelings from one another, so they communicate more efficiently and honestly than most others. He never knew why his former moirail, Durpie, broke up with him, but they still get along alright as friends (also noted that she shows no jealousy towards his new moirallegiance with her matesprit). He is 8 sweeps old and his blood color is olive.

* * *

Episode 3: Spades Babe

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Durpie's respite block, where she is searching frantically for the black-romantic erotic friendfic she was planning on using to seduce Lapine. Her frustration over not being able to find it has triggered REDDIE to take over control. Her giant 'sup guy lusus Cry-the-Sup-Guy, who she affectionately refers to as Cry, is trying his best to remedy the situation.)

MustardREDDIE (tossing papers up from a bureau drawer) NEH! WHY DOES THIS KEEP (She aggressively slams the bureau shut) _HAPPENING_?

Cry (apprehensively, attempting to diffuse the tension) Hey, calm down! You got a whole 'nother mess of friendfics over here! (The lusus gestures to a pile of used-up notebooks next to the bureau.)

MustardREDDIE (unappeased) BUT NONE OF THOSE HAVE THE KISMESISSITUDE I WANTED TO SHOW HER! (She ferociously shuffles through more papers) WHERE IS IT?(Lapine enters.)

Lapine Hey, Dur—_whoa_.

Cry (turning to Lapine) Holy shit, Hopsur! Thank gog you're here! Okay, I need you to (REDDIE begins lifting her bureau, planning to break it open)—oh, jegus! Watch out! (He headbutts Lapine out of the way and drags her out of the hive. Quickly, he swipes his dependent's husktop using his teeth, since he has no arms, and he closes the door behind him, leaving REDDIE inside).

Lapine Oh fuck, what happened?

Cry She was excited that you were coming over and she lost her notebook, but she wanted to show you something, and so, in the panic from being unable to find it (An incredibly loud crash is heard from inside the hive)—REDDIE took over.

Lapine (puzzled, because she has seen REDDIE before) I thought REDDIE was a really hyper nice troll and not… like _this_?

Cry The REDDIE you see now is the angry one, MustardREDDIE, or at least that's what Durpie calls her. The one you saw last time was HoneyREDDIE, and she only comes out when she's got a good idea for a drawing or story. I find it a little hard to believe she considers HoneyREDDIE to be the same side of the coin, but I'm not her, so I can't attest to that.

Lapine (cringing at the sound of another crash) Do you know how to calm her down?

Cry No, I don't. HoneyREDDIE usually retreats back inside when she's done with whatever she was working on, but when she's gone Mustard-side, Durpie's matesprit needs to intervene. He's the only one who knows how to calm REDDIE down. (Something comes hurtling through the window. The lusus takes on a panicked tone.) So I guess now would be a good time to troll him to come here quickly, before she ruins her hive! (He kicks the husktop into Lapine's hands. With a decisive nod, she opens up the husktop and logs into Trollian. She messages someone with the trolltag "NookNipper".)

LL (She sends a gif of a police car racing down the street)

NN what is it whats wrong

LL (She sends a picture of Durpie, then subsequently sends a gif of mustard pouring out of a bottle all over a plate.)

NN oh shit hang on ill be over quick (He then logs off.)

Lapine (turning to Durpie's lusus) Okay, there. (They wait around for Durpie's matesprit, listening to the sounds of rampage going on inside the hive. Finally, he arrives.)

Cry (calling her matesprit) Rumnut!

Rumnut (calmly, laxly) How did this happen?

Cry She couldn't find her notebook, and she wanted to show Lapine a friendfiction with a particular kismesissitude. I have no clue what happened to it.

Lapine (with a look of realization, she murmurs guiltily) Oh! Sorry… geez! (Both Rumnut and the lusus turn to her) I lit it on fire last time I was over, okay? I think I know which friendfiction she was talking about, but I didn't think it meant much, so I burned it.

Cry (exasperated) Holy shit, Lapine.

Lapine (sarcastically) Forgive _me_ for having a hobby besides pailing other trolls!

Rumnut Yeah, well, _nooks_ like your fun went down in flames…

Lapine (irritated) Stop with the nook jokes and calm down your matesprit already, okay?

Rumnut (still calm) Alright… but since it's your fault, you have to come with me.

Lapine (defensively) Oh, what!

Cry (pushing them both into the hive) Just _go_! (REDDIE instantly turns to them both.)

Rumnut (calm as fuck) Hey, REDDIE. What's up?

MustardREDDIE (infuriated) I CAN'T FIND MY FUCKING NOTEBOOK! THAT'S WHAT'S UP!

Rumnut (without changing tone) Relax, REDsy, it's cool. Lapine already saw it.

MustardREDDIE WHERE?

Rumnut She burned it. (Silence ensues for a short moment.)

MustardREDDIE …WHAT? (At this point, Rumnut takes Lapine by the collar of her sweater.)

Lapine Hey! What gives? (Wordlessly, he pushes her towards REDDIE. REDDIE lets out a snarl.) Oh, _shit_! Um, Durpie, REDDIE, both of you, I'm sorry! I-I wouldn't have burned it if (REDDIE cuts her off with a kiss)—mmph! (Rumnut watches coolly and silently as his matesprit snogs with Lapine.)

MustardREDDIE (gasping as she breaks away from Lapine) You! (She drops her tone to a growling whisper) are a fucking _bitch_. Don't fucking touch my sketchbooks ever again… (REDDIE then retreats inside, and Durpie's body collapses onto the sofa in exhaustion from all the energy exerted in damaging the hive.)

Rumnut (clapping) There, it's all cool now. REDDIE's calmed down.

Lapine (She stammers incoherently, seeking explanations for REDDIE's actions.)

Rumnut You're gonna need to make some sense to get some sense, Hippity Hopsur.

Lapine I don't… what was _that_ all about?

Rumnut Well, REDDIE's obviously got a caliginous crush on you, so I let her vent it.

Lapine (blushing) Does that mean Durpie…?

Rumnut (laughing) What? No. Durpie can't handle the caliginous quadrant full-on. Like she'd have a caliginous crush on _anyone_, let alone you, her friend of all people. (Durpie stirs awake. Her muscles feel sore and her hive is a mess, so that tips her off that REDDIE took over. She lets out a beleaguered sigh, seeming upset, until she sees her matesprit and Lapine.)

Durpie (cheerily) Hey, Lapine! Hey, babe! Whatcha guys talking about?

Rumnut Anime.

Durpie (even more cheerily) Which one?

Rumnut (slinging an arm around her) Lemme show you. (He gestures to Lapine, who is still a little frazzled by the whole ordeal. Durpie casts a guilty glance over to her, wondering what REDDIE did to Lapine to make her so out of it.)

Cry (knocking on window from outside) Hey. You guys gonna leave me out here or what?

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens in Durpie's living room, which is still a mess all the way up through her room, but some effort has been made to tidy up. Durpie, Rumnut, and Lapine all sit together on a couch in front of a television screen with some generic shoujo mecha anime running. Rumnut sits in the middle. Durpie is snuggled up comfortably next her matesprit, his hand in hers and her head rested on his shoulder. Lapine is distanced slightly from him, perhaps somewhat distraught by everything that happened earlier. Durpie notices, but doesn't exactly know what to say. She nudges her matesprit and whispers in his ear, casting a short glance to Lapine.)

Rumnut (clearing his throat) Everything alright, Hippity Hopsur?

Lapine (coming out of a daze) What? Oh. Yeah, yeah, everything's cool.

Rumnut Nah, come on. Be honest. I know it isn't exactly that sweet to see MustardREDDIE for the first time.

Lapine (defensively) I can deal with it! (Durpie cringes at Lapine raising her voice. She doesn't like it when people yell. In turn, Lapine softens her tone.) I just don't feel so great that I'm the reason Mustard-side decided to take over and go on a rampage. (Durpie chuckles a little at this.)

Rumnut (chuckling alongside his matesprit) It's fine. I've actually triggered MustardREDDIE tons of times in the past. (Durpie nods a lot.)

Lapine (surprised) What? Seriously?

Rumnut Yeah.

Durpie (gesturing to the bandages on his gills and nose) It happens when he can't breathe. I panic, and then REDDIE takes over because she knows he means a lot to me. (She sighs.) REDDIE… only gets mad when she thinks I'll lose something—or someone—important to me. (Her grip tightens on Rumnut's hand.) It's not your fault she came out. I'm sorry… I couldn't find the friendfiction I wanted to show you.

Lapine What? No! It _was_ my fault! I burned the notebook you were looking for! And I know which friendfiction you're talking about. (She blushes.) You know, if you wanna fuck, all you have to is ask. No need to go to the trouble of seducing me with your writing, okay?

Durpie (giggling cheerily) Okay! (Rumnut taps her shoulder. She leans in and he whispers something to her, before winking.) Oh! Sure thing! (She returns her attention to Lapine.) Well, I'm going to go clean up my respite block. You guys can just hang out here. See ya, hon. (She kisses Rumnut's forehead, then departs for her respite block. The moment Durpie leaves, Rumnut flicks Lapine in the forehead.)

Lapine Ow! What the fuck?

Rumnut (suggestively) Do I annoy you?

Lapine (blushing, because it seems like he's hate-flirting) No… (He flicks her forehead again.) Ow! But you're getting there… (Rumnut stands up.) Hey, where are you going?

Rumnut I was supposed to be at my palemate's place hours ago to hang out, so I better get going before the moon starts to set. Oh, and before I go… (He then leans down and make out with Lapine. The kiss is meant to be caliginous, but it's way too gentle for Lapine to tell.)

Lapine (flustered, pushing him off) Holy fuck, dude! Your matesprit is just in the other room!

Rumnut I know… (He winks.) but who said that was a red kiss? (Rumnut saunters over to the door.) Catch you another time, shortstack. (At last, he leaves.)

Lapine (irritated, hot, and bothered) Holy _fuck_, I am so doing him.

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens in Chishu's hive. He is currently at work on some sort of ornate tapestry for Satlie, his matesprit. He lives on a cliff across the gorge from her, and he often crosses the rope bridge to visit her. They often sew new outfits together, but they do not do it often because trolls can get culled for having an "excessive" interest in fashion.)

Chishu (greeting his moirail in a _heavily_ flamboyant manner) Rummy! Good to see you! Oh my gog! (He embraces his moirail and kisses him on the cheeks.) And here I was thinking you had ditched me! Silly me!

Rumnut (with a soft smile) Wouldn't dream of it, Chippity Cheesh.

Chishu (inviting him in) Come on inside, pale-pal! I got so much to talk to you about.

Rumnut (walking in, checking the place out.) Wow. Really cleaned up the place after that final caliginous fight with Satlie last month, huh? Good thing Durpie was there to break things up…

Chishu (sighing) Yeah… she was a good auspistice for us, and a pretty supportive moirail. Too bad she broke it off with me on both accounts. (Giving the biggest of bro-hugs) Lucky that you're my moirail now though!

Rumnut Aw, thanks, man. That means a lot. (Rumnut points at Chishu's new eye-patch.) Did Satlie make that for you?

Chishu (swooning) Oh, _yes_. Isn't it _lovely_ and _stylish_? (He sits down on the couch and pats the spot next to him. Rumnut sits down.)

Rumnut (smiling) Yeah. I like it. You look pretty badass.(He begins tentatively.) So how has she been?

Chishu Ah, _wonderful_. She may not have been the best kismesis for me, but she's certainly the most _wonderful_ matesprit. Satlie's coming back tomorrow morning from that Wriggling day trip she took with her lusus. She trolled me not too long ago just to say hi. So _sweet_ of her. (He giggles dreamily.) And how has Durpie been?

Rumnut (with a sighing chuckle) My honeyblood boo's been okay, except… (He looks away from his moirail) to be honest, I was late tonight because I had to go to her place calm REDDIE down.

Chishu (surprised) Oh my! Did anyone get hurt?

Rumnut Nah, she just wrecked her place up a little is all. It's all good. No one's hurt.

Chishu Ah, thank _goodness_! That would've been _quite_ awful. (He asks curiously.) What triggered REDDIE to come out?

Rumnut Bunnybuddy had apparently burned an important caliginous smutfic by mistake.

Chishu Like, oh my gog. That's (He pauses, realizing what his moirail just said)—wait, did you say Durpie wrote something _caliginous_?

Rumnut (shrugging) Yeah.

Chishu Gasp! I thought she couldn't deal with that quadrant full-on!

Rumnut Ha. She can handle it about as well as I can. (This is to say, he can't handle a serious caliginous relationship either.) She has her inky flings with Hopsur, but they don't mean anything in the way of real romance. But, I guess REDDIE is past the threshold of annoyance into actual hate for Bunnybuddy.

Chishu Whoa. Well… that's something.

Rumnut (hesitantly) I actually hate-flirted with Hopsur though.

Chishu (completely surprised) What!

Rumnut I'm just a little curious. I've never… I mean, I kinda want to see what hate-sex is like, you know? There's a reason my honeyboo ropes her friend in to tickle the blackrom bulge, and I… I want to know exactly why. I don't know what's so great about it, but I'm willing to give it a try.

Chishu So… you're pursuing Lapine?

Rumnut Not seriously. I just want a fling. And I already got the okay from Dippity Durp. Not to mention, Hopsur has other buds with blackrom benefits.

Chishu But what about REDDIE? Won't she get jealous?

Rumnut I don't give a nookwhiff about _her_. If she wants Hopsur seriously, fine by me. Not my fault if she gets butthurt over a fling.

Chishu (pausing) Just be careful, alright? I wouldn't want REDDIE's jealousy to endanger you.

Rumnut I know. Thanks for your concern.

Chishu What are moirails for?

Rumnut (looking at the window) Sun's coming up. I should go. You got an umbrella on you?

Chishu Dude, there's a _whole_ pile over there. (He points to a pile of titanium umbrellas in the corner of the living room.) Help yourself, I sure don't want them.

Rumnut (heading out) 'Kay then. Nice talking to you. Bye. (The setting then switches back to Durpie's room. She is on Trollian and her matesprit is now online. She seems distraught.)

DD babe, REDDIE didn't hurt you or lapine, did she? :P sorry if she did. :(

NN no, we're both fine.

DD ok thank goodness :P

DD i love you, alright babe?

NN love you too {3

DD {3 (Both of them then log off at the same time. Shortly after, Satlie and Chishu log on. Chishu's trolltag is HackingHemlines.)

SS Hey babe. I'm back from my trip! s:D

HH How was it? {3

SS It was fun! But you were on my mind the whole time, HiSSso I was a little lonesome {3

HH Aw, I guess I'll tag along next time then!

SS I'm dying to HiSSsee you. Mind if I come over and HiSSspend the morning?

HH By all means! Come right over!

SS Okay. HiSSsee you HiSSsoon {3

HH hIssSee you {3 (Both of them then log off. The setting switches to Chishu's living room, where Satlie is sleeping next to Chishu in his recuperacoon. To the side, Dansus's battered shoes sit on top of Satlie's open luggage.)

—END OF EPISODE 3—


	7. Everything's Been Fucked up

**A/N:**

**AND SO IT BEGINS. Prepare to be thrown for a loop because now I'm _really_ putting the "drama" in "Quadrama"!**

**Chapter warnings: mentions of serious injuries and character death.**

**Without further ado, I bring you episode four. Please enjoy.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

It's Friday night. Karkat and Terezi sit together on a swinging bench in Sollux's backyard, lackadaisically eating pieces of slutty brownie. It's bustling like a honeybee hive back inside, and Vriska is causing a big stink by publicly breaking up with Eridan in there too, so they decided to grab a moment of fresh air before going back in. Somehow, Gamzee managed to get them to eat a few slices of a particularly loaded tin of hash pie, and now they're just hungry.

"Feferi makes good shit, I can say that much…" Karkat comments as he munches.

Terezi giggles, "Feferi didn't make this. She got it from that comfort food place where Eridan works."

"And where the fuck is that?"

"Cupnuts. They sell mostly cupcakes and doughnuts, but they have other stuff too." She takes another bite out of her piece. "I heard couples aren't allowed inside."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Apparently, the place is meant for people who just broke up with someone."

"Pff…" He slouches, "I bet you he hits on the customers."

"Ha, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. He's a red wreck over Nepeta, and he's driving her nuts. I think it's only a matter of time before he really sees how hopeless it is going after her." She asks offhandedly, "Say, speaking of Nepeta, how did it go?"

"Huh? How did what go?"

"When you told her about us. How did she react?"

"Oh…" Karkat sighs, realizing he didn't get the chance to tell her. She left so early for some reason, and, while he was writing the script for episode three, he forgot all about it.

"Did you forget to tell her?" Terezi's tone sharpens with a tinge of hostility, "You _promised_ me you'd tell her, you know."

"Yeah, I know!" He rejoins, looking at his matesprit. Before he can stop the words from tumbling out, he says, "And I did tell her. She, uh… actually took it pretty fucking well."

Terezi turns to him, surprised to hear this, "Oh?"

"Yeah. Leijon's really got the heart of a lion, I gotta say."

"Well… wow. That's a relief to hear." She reclines, putting her hands behind her head. "Good thing too. I mean, it's finally out of the way. No more tiptoeing for either of us! We can just…" She places a hand over Karkat's, "…be honest now."

"Yeah…" he smiles, hiding his guilt. It strikes him now that he just outright lied to his matesprit, something he thought he'd never do. And it's not a pleasant feeling _at all_. Redirecting the conversation, he suggests, "Do you wanna play 'would you rather'?"

"Oh! Sure. Would you rather… eat your pet hermit crab or pee yourself in public?"

"Ugh, gross, Terezi! Um… I guess I'd rather piss my pants than kill my only pet. I mean, I can always wash my pants, but Snarbles is irreplaceable."

"Pff! You are way too attached to that little thing."

He nudges her, "Says the chick with overly nostalgic sentiments over a beat-up Scalemate. Now, would you rather… lose your sight or never be able to taste anything again?"

She looks down at her slutty brownie piece, then answers with a laugh, "Fuck eyesight if it means I'll never be able to taste _these_ again."

* * *

It's Saturday now. The morning routine is the same as usual, just the way Nepeta likes it: she wakes up, takes her meds, and logs onto Pesterchum. Many unread messages from Equius about Karkat fill her screen, overwhelming her a little. Tentatively, she closes the window to her browser, not wanting to deal with them.

She jolts a little when her phone rattles against the table. Sometimes she forgets that it turns on automatically. Cautiously, she picks it up to find that she got a text from Aradia late last night.

—hey if y0ure still awake

—theres a seri0us party g0ing 0n at my matesprits h0use right n0w

—c0me 0ver if y0u want

Nepeta laughs sheepishly to herself at the invitation. Parties are _not_ her thing… at all. Sure, some people like to hang out with their friends all at once in loud, crowded places with flashing lights. But Nepeta is definitely _not_ one of those people. It's easier for her to talk one-on-one in casual places with a friend. Things don't seem too stimulating that way.

"It's too early in the morning for all this!" Nepeta gives a grumpy mewl, making her reply to Aradia's text.

—:3 {*ac is sorry she read this so late! she would've gone if she had the chance!*

With a tap to her screen, it's sent instantly. She awaits a reply, but there is none. That's odd. Aradia usually texts back quickly. Maybe she slept in? That makes sense, seeing that Aradia was probably partying all night last night.

After a bowl of cereal, Nepeta heads off to the arcade. She's thinking to invite Equius to the karaoke booth next door to the arcade later, but she decides against it. He's been a bit overbearing lately about the script and Karkat, and she doesn't feel like engaging in this conversation/argument for the time being.

* * *

Nepeta may be a sweetheart, but people either forget or don't know that she can kick ass. Gaming is a good way for her to let out her wild side and vent her aggression. After a long, tedious, and slightly anxiety-inducing search, she has found her favorite, and it's all she ever plays now when she comes to the arcade.

After stepping inside the curtained room, she slides the freshly-recharged point card into the slot and pulls the game visor over her eyes. Gripping the wireless controllers in both hands, she readies herself in the countdown for the game to begin. Finally, the "FIGHT!" sign appears on screen and the enemies start whirling towards her. Unsheathing Wolverine's claws, she strikes the first on the left furiously and repeatedly, refusing to relent until it disintegrates with that final blow. Another flies down from overhead, but she swiftly sidesteps and pivots to face it on her left, again attacking ferociously without stopping, and it shatters into dust as it falls against the ground defeated. Two come in on her right and diagonally behind her, and with a spin, she maneuvers and slashes them both, cornering one of them and striking it upwards into the air with a punch, leaving it to land impaled through the chest on her fist. Meanwhile, the other one has been doing damage to her HP, but it doesn't take her long to annihilate that one with a swift, pointed stab. Confetti rains down and the "YOU WIN!" sign comes up.

Delighted, she lets loose a loud celebratory mewl, balling up her fists and throwing one in the air. The countdown to confirm continuation into level two starts up, but just as she moves her thumb over the "X" button, her phone buzzes inside her pocket. With a hasty tap to the pause button, she digs her phone out of her coat pocket and sees Aradia's reply text.

—uM, HEY, nEPETA, tHIS IS, UH, tAVROS,

Instantly, she is confused.

—:3 {*ac gr33ts tavros cordially and wonders why he is mewsing aradia's phone*

—uHH, i'M NOT SURE HOW TO SAY THIS, bUT

—sHE IS, UM, UNABLE TO TEXT YOU BACK ANYMORE

—:3 {what? why? *ac is worried and wants tavros to reply quickly!*

—uH, i, UMM, WELL, i HATE TO SAY IT

—bUT, PLEASE, dON'T PANIC WHEN i, uH, SAY THIS!

—,,, aRADIA IS DEAD,

Her blood runs cold as she reads this line. Frenzied, she throws off her visor and rushes out of the room, triggering an alarm to go off. She looks down and realizes she forgot to put back the wireless controllers.

A staff person calls to her, "Excuse me! Hey, kid! Put those controllers back!"

"O-Oh! Sorry!" She replies, sticking her arms back through the curtain and setting the devices down on the ground. Flustered, she finally rushes away, leaving the other girl who was waiting a chance to play the game.

Outside the arcade, tears are rushing down her face. It takes her a moment to steady her breathing before she can focus on her phone again. Tavros, meanwhile, is worried by the lack of response on her end.

—nEPETA, UHH, iS EVERYTHING OKAY?

—:3 {how did it happen?

—wELL, THERE WAS A, UMM, PARTY AT sOLLUX'S HOUSE LAST NIGHT

—aND, UHH, sHE WAS DRIVING ME, AND tEREZI HOME, sOLLUX WAS IN THE CAR TOO, jUST TAGGING ALONG,,, tHEN vRISKA WAS IN THE OTHER CAR,,,

—aND,,, i GUESS, UM, sHE WAS DRUNK, OR SOMETHING,,, BECAUSE SHE JUST WOULDN'T STOP

—aRADIA TRIED TO, UMM, MANEUVER OUT OF HER WAY,,, BUT,,,

—vRISKA CRASHED RIGHT INTO US

—:3 {are you guys alright?

—wELL, UH, i CAN'T WALK ANYMORE, TO SAY THE LEAST,,,

—bUT, i'M OKAY, FOR THE MOST PART

—i'M NOT SO SURE HOW tEREZI AND sOLLUX ARE, UMM, FEELING

—:3 {where are you guys?

—wE WERE, UM, ALL TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL ON aLTERNIA dRIVE,

—:3 {*ac will be there as soon as possible*

* * *

As Karkat backs into an open space in the parking lot, he lets out a long sigh. He still can't believe that the crash actually happened.

It was so sudden when he first heard about it in the morning, so he couldn't help but be shocked. Everything was perfectly fine last night. How could things go so wrong just a few hours _right after_ he left?

Guilty conscience for lying to Terezi made him want to leave the party early. She didn't want to go home yet, so she told him he'd snag a ride from Aradia. And that was alright. It was innocent and harmless. Aradia was the first person to learn to drive in their group of friends. She was a careful driver! He didn't think… it would turn out all fucked up like this.

He had his own car, and he used it to drive him and Terezi to the party. Hell, there were _three_ seats in the back! He could've easily driven _all_ of them home if he hadn't left before they did. He could've kept Sollux and Terezi from losing their sight. He could've protected Tavros from getting his legs crushed. He could've saved Aradia's life!

But he fucking _left _before they did.

Once the car has stilled, he takes out his phone and texts Tavros again. While Tavros is texting Nepeta with Aradia's phone, he keeps up a conversation on his own phone with Karkat.

—I CALLED IN AND CHECKED INTO THE HOSPITAL FROM HOME, SO I HAVE PERMISSION TO VISIT ALREADY

—WHAT ROOM ARE YOU GUYS IN?

—uHH, sOLLUX AND i ARE IN ROOM 4522-01 ON FLOOR 20, HALL 56

—tEREZI and vRISKA ARE FOUR DOORS DOWN

—OKAY

—I'LL VISIT TEREZI FIRST, THEN I'LL TALK TO YOU GUYS

—uMM,,, yOU CAN TALK TO ME, bUT sOLLUX SAID HE DOESN'T, UM, WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW

—I DON'T FUCKING BLAME HIM…

—wELL, kARKAT,,, HE DOESN'T BLAME YOU EITHER,

—nOBODY DOES,,,

—THEN WHY DO I FEEL SO FUCKING *GUILTY*?

—THERE ARE FIVE SEATS TOTAL IN MY CAR

—IT WAS ROOM ENOUGH FOR *EVERYONE* IN ARADIA'S CAR

—BUT NOW SHE'S *DEAD*, TAVROS! NOTHING WILL FUCKING CHANGE THAT!

—YOU CAN GET A WHEECHAIR OR PROSTHETICS

—SOLLUX AND TEREZI CAN LEARN HOW TO READ BRAILLE AND GET AUDIO APPS ON THEIR PHONES

—THERE'S A CHANCE FOR ALL OF YOU TO GO ON

—BUT I CAN'T *EVER* BRING HER BACK

—kARKAT,,, dON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER SOMETHING THAT ISN'T YOUR FAULT,

—oKAY?

—…

—I'LL TRY NOT TO

—SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF MOMENTS

—sEE YOU,,,

* * *

"Alright, I'll need to see some identification, please. Your school ID would suffice."

Digging her phone out of her pocket, she replies to the man at the front desk, "No problem, Sir." With a quick selection from the sylladex app in her phone, her school ID card falls out onto the counter. The man takes it and scans it for Nepeta's school records. It says that, recently, she was put in afterschool detention, but this was her first time. There are no previous offenses listed. "Before I can let you go, can you explain why you were in detention last week?"

"Somebody I know was making unwanted sexual advances, so I punched him. But after I explained the situation to the supervisors, they deemed it as self-defense and they said they would erase it from my records in a few weeks." The man eyes Nepeta carefully. She knows that her admittance inside as a visitor would now be up to his jurisdiction. Considering the information on her medical records, there is a definite possibility he would refuse her to come in. It's a common discrimination she faces in some establishments, but it's only a judgment the ignorant would pass. Surely a man who works in a medical institution would know better.

After reviewing the medical side of her records, he turns away from the screen, returns Nepeta's card, and hangs a visitor's tag around her neck without hesitation.

"Go right ahead, kid. They're on floor 20 in hall 56, room 4522-01."

"Thank you."

* * *

Terezi hangs her head and exhales, "Well, I guess that explains why you've been such a bitch to her lately. Is it the same with Tavros then?"

"I-I don't… I don't know how I feel about him." Vriska can't stop crying. "But I definitely h-hated Aradia! More than I hated Eridan! But I didn't think she felt the same... s-so…"

"If you ask me, that's pretty fucked up." Karkat grumbles. Glaring at her, he growls, "Honestly, what chance do you have with her now that she's _dead_?"

"I-I didn't mean to _kill_ anyone!" She retaliates. "I didn't m-mean to maim anyone either. I just… I wanted to bang up her new car a little, y-you know? It would've given her good reason to be pissed at me… then maybe…"

"Ah, well, boohoo," Eridan pipes up from his seat across the room, his arms folded over his chest. "That's what you get for tryin' to cheat on your kismesis, honey."

"F-For the last fucking time Eridan!" Vriska points a finger across the room, hiccupping through her tears, "I've been t-telling you for _weeks_ now that we aren't kismeses anymore! What, was breaking up with you a-at the party _for the eighth time_ not proof enough?"

"Sweetspade, come on. If you _really_ didn't hate me as much as I know you do, you woulda done that in privvacy instead of makin' such a public scene out of it. What better way to show your hatred for someone than embarrassin' them?"

"Urgh! You're so _irritating_!" She huffs, "W-Why is it that _your_ airbag had to be the only one in my car that worked?"

"See? You're doin' it again. Those words are so obvviously full of contempt for me. Come on." He walks over to her with a smirk. "Just give me a big fat kiss and admit that you still hate me." He starts leaning over her, but as quickly as a scorpion can sting, she uppercuts him in the jaw with her good arm. Eridan stumbles backwards, bumping into Terezi's bed and causing the nurse on duty to give a start. Terezi pats him on the back and shakes her head, as if to say it won't happen again.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's _your_ fault!" She accuses, her tears having dissipated completely. "If you hadn't shined your robotics club laser pointer wand in my face, I wouldn't have gotten blinded by the glare and hit the gas so hard!"

"Not my fault you can't focus on the road!" Eridan rejoins, "Besides, you shoulda done this when you were alone instead, not while Fef and I were in the car!"

"Feferi was there too?" Terezi and Karkat gasp simultaneously. Eridan sighs and turns away from them.

"Yeah…" Vriska admits softly, tears beginning to well up again, "She was in the back. Eridan was up front with me, so I guess the pointer went flying backwards in the crash and it stabbed her through the chest. They said… she died in the ambulance on the way here."

"Fuck…" Karkat groans under his breath, adding to his guilt. That's one more person he can never bring back.

Hugging her knees to her chest with her remaining arm, she says, "I didn't mean it…" That's all Vriska can utter, and it's the closest to an apology she'll get. Terezi can't help but feel cold and numb inside when she hears the dejection in Vriska's voice. It's almost unbelievable. She can't help but feel like she needs to make sure she's not asleep, to make sure that she's still in the real world.

"Karkat, come over here." He does as she says, dragging his feet. She motions for him to lean in closer so she can whisper. "Kiss me." she asks him gently.

So he does just that.

And in the simple meeting of their lips, both of them start feeling like at least one thing is still right with the world, like not everything has been completely fucked up. Every worry melts away, and they simply sink into the kiss, reality ceasing to exist for just this one moment.

And they'll be damned if they don't take the opportunity to make this moment last as long as they can.

* * *

"Hey, Nepeta!" Tavros calls, with cheeks full of food and two phones in his lap. Gamzee sits by Tavros's bed, holding a half-eaten peanut butter and apple sandwich. Gamzee turns to her and gives a smile and a nod of acknowledgement.

"Hey, Tavros." She replies, waving shyly. There are a few too many people in here for her to handle, but she can take it. Gamzee and Tavros seem pre-occupied with one another, so she decides to leave them alone. Sollux, who was previously reclining listlessly in his bed, sits up at the mention of her name.

"Nepeta?" He mumbles to himself. She hears him and turns. "You're the chick who has a flush crush on Karkat, right?" Her heart bounds in her chest at those words. Karkat talks about her?

"Yeah…" Nepeta walks up to him, "And you're his 'dweeby friend', right?"

He chuckles lightly, "Is that what he calls me?"

"Sometimes…" She murmurs. "Other times, he calls you his best friend."

"Really?" He sighs, lying back again. She nods in response. "Wow. Kinda makes me wish he'd come in here and talk to me now…" He says wistfully. Holding up his right hand, he asks, "Where are you?"

"I'm right here, silly."

"Right where?"

"To your left. Can't you see me?" Sure, there are bandages over his eyes, but they're kind of translucent. He should be able make out her figure at least, right?

"Actually, no, I can't. My glasses shattered against my eyes, so now I can't see. I think the bandages over them should make that pretty obvious." He replies laxly, turning to his left. Normally, he'd be a little more irritated, but, somehow, he doesn't feel annoyed at all. It's like the loss of both his sight and his matesprit has sapped all the aggression from him. He finds it hard to be upset, and he can't quite explain why.

Nepeta, at a loss for words can only utter, "Oh…" Silence ensues, and Sollux has to pick the conversation back up.

"You know, Nepeta, I've got a few stories I can tell you about Karkat. Would you like to hear them?"

"Sure!" Nepeta spends a while listening to Sollux recount all of his slumber parties and hacking scandals with Karkat. Slowly, she starts to feel herself falling just a little harder for him, just from listening and learning more about a side of him she hasn't seen before. It makes her… happy, and like she's gotten to know him just a little better. And, somehow, it encourages her. She feels like she has enough confidence to tell him just exactly how she feels. So she plans to do just that next time she sees him.

Once Sollux has said everything to her has to offer about Karkat, she gets up and states, "Well, it was nice talking to you. I'm going to see Terezi now."

"Alright. Come visit again soon, okay? It was nice talking to you too. You're a really good listener."

"Thanks." She smiles cheerily. Waving, she heads out the door, "Bye."

* * *

As Nepeta opens up the door to Terezi's room, she is unprepared for what she sees next.

Karkat, with teal-polished fingers tangled in his black hair, looms overhead Terezi, meshing his lips with hers again and again, so softly and sweetly. It's unmistakably the reddest of kisses, but Nepeta just can't believe that it's true, even though it explains so much. He hangs out with Terezi so often and they've always seemed so close!

Of course it only makes sense that they're matesprits!

In reaction, she lets out a very loud, wounded cry at the sight before her, causing the couple to freeze up completely. It takes a moment for Karkat to process what he just heard, turn around to face his friend, and step away from his matesprit.

He whispers to himself, "Oh, _fuck_."

"Babe, what's wrong? What happened?" Terezi asks, searching him out with a hand in the air "Who screamed?"

"Uh, hold on a second, Terezi." Karkat rushes up to his friend at the door, whispering frantically, "Nepeta, hang on, let me explain—"

"Karkitten Vantas!" Nepeta glares straight into his eyes, tears beginning to form in her own, "How could you have the _nerve_ to go on a red date with me while you have _a matesprit_?"

"A red date?" Karkat squawks, shocked at the accusation. "What are you talking about?"

"Terezi's your matesprit, isn't she?" Nepeta says sternly, asking for affirmation. He can't help but blow out a big sigh.

"…yeah. I've been meaning to tell you for a while, but—" She smacks him across the face before he can finish the statement. The nurse, again, makes a start, but this time, Eridan puts up an arm to stop him. With a huff, the nurse sits back down and continues watching. Terezi listens on in utter shock, her whole world crashing down around her. _Now_, everything has truly been fucked up.

"You _meanie_!" Nepeta begins crying, "Leading me on and cheating on her! T-To think I was red for you!"

"Nepeta, hey… hold on a sec…" He places a hand on her shoulder. Instantly, she swats it away.

She hisses, "Don't touch me!" Looking up across the room through overflowing eyes, she says, "Terezi, I-I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I wouldn't have gone on the date had I known…"

"It's okay, Nepeta…" Terezi replies, her speech slightly stilted. With this, Nepeta turns her back.

"I gotta go. I don't think I can stand to be in this room a second longer with a _cheater_. Feel better, Terezi."

"Alright… bye…" And on that note, Nepeta takes off running down the hall, her crying audible from the echoes off the wall.

Karkat calls after her, "Nepeta! Hey, wait!" Terezi finds his wrist and grips it tightly.

"Oho no, you're _not_ going anywhere until you completely explain to me what the fuck just happened here." Eridan, adjusting his scarf and striking a confident posture, makes a stride towards the door.

"Alright then!" He declares, "I guess it's up to me to console the poor wounded kitty cat and finally win her heart!"

Karkat snarls, "Eridan, if you so much as move another inch closer to the door, I will take your stupid scarf and fucking strangle you with it while you sleep tonight." The nurse, panicking at the threat, reaches for the phone, but Vriska takes his wrist and whispers that Karkat doesn't really mean it. Frustrated with their drama, the nurse finally gives up and decides to go into the back room and leave these overly emotional minors to their drama.

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Terezi starts up, her volume rising. "You promised me you'd tell her on Thursday, but you never really did, huh?" Karkat remains silent, looking down guiltily. She demands, "Karkat, you better answer me! Did you tell her about us on Thursday?"

"N-No… I forgot. Sorry…" he mumbles ruefully.

"So…" she leans back in her bed, "I really can't trust you, can I?"

Groaning, he defends himself, "Babe, please, at least believe me when I say I _didn't_ go on a red date with her. I seriously have no clue what the fuck she was talking about."

"Whether or not you cheated on me is _way_ beside the point." Terezi laughs, sounding a little angry. "The fact of the matter is, you outright _lied_ to me, and you know how highly I valued honesty in our relationship. How can you expect me to believe anything you say anymore?"

"Come on! She left early and I didn't get the chance to say—"

"So? You had Pesterchum. You had your phone."

"But, don't you think she should've heard it in person?"

"Karkat, I don't _care_ about your excuses. You promised me you'd do something, but you didn't _do _it. And then you had the nerve to _lie to me _about it. Do you know how much your honesty meant to me? I fell in love with you because of it." Her laughter grows a bit louder now. "You know, just a moment ago, while we were kissing, I thought that not everything in my world had been completely fucked up. But I guess I was wrong. And I guess you can consider your flushed quadrant empty now because I am _done_ with you." In frustration, Terezi commands, "Now get out of here."

* * *

AC :3 {*after taking a moment to cool down, ac has thought this over carefurry*

AC :3 {*and she thinks that, although you are a meanie mcbitchface, you are still a good writer*

AC :3 {*so it would be wrong to cancel the script over a purrsonal affair*

AC :3 {*howefur, because of aforemeowntioned affair, ac believes it would be best if we go on hiatus fur script-writing*

AC :3 {*and that we not talk at all for a while*

AC :3 {*in any way whatsoever*

AC :3 {so that's that

AC :3 {I'll be blocking you fur now, so don't expect me to reply on here

AC :3 {or to any of your texts

Instantly after sending the last message, she does as she promised and blocks him on Pesterchum. Once the deed is done, she lies back on her bed, takes her hat off her head and bites down on it hard, kicking her feet in the air and squealing through grit teeth as tears stream down her face. She doesn't know who she feels worse for, herself or Terezi. But, all in all, she feels _horrible_.

And she's convinced it's completely his fault.

Once she's done letting it out, she sits up and grabs her phone, hoping to find a good snack or movie stored in her sylladex app, but before she can open the app, she sees that she has a text from a foreign number. She decides to look at it.

—HeY, tHiS iS gAmZeE

—WhAt Is MoThErFuCkIn Up, KiTtY sIsTeR?

"…Gamzee?" Nepeta murmurs to herself as she continues reading.

—I sAw YoU uP aNd RuNniN dOwN tHe HaLl CrYiNg EaRlIeR

—I aSkEd KaRbRo AbOuT iT, bUt He WoUlDn'T sAy Ho-TiTtY sHiT

—CaRe To MoThErFuCkIn EnLiGhTeN a BrOtHeR aS tO wHaT's GoInG oN?

It doesn't take her too long to start texting him back.


	8. Cheater

**A/N:**

**The song mentioned this chapter is called "Uncharted" and it's by Sara Bareilles, and also, some background on the sociological aspects of this AU: sexism was one of the types of discrimination that had been dissolved during the Survivor's War (though, remnant traces still remain in the culture because, sadly, some bigoted assholes had survived against zombies) so it is considered socially acceptable for men to wear dresses and skirts, since they are recognized as nothing more than articles of clothing. That is why there will be no reaction to a certain male character wearing a maid-outfit. More shall be revealed throughout the story on the history of the Survivor's War, but for the most part, expect me to keep it vague.**

**Anyhow, enjoy.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

In the afternoon, somewhere after Karkat ended his visit to the hospital, Equius arrives back from Blustone, completely unaware of all the events that have passed in his absence. He has desperately been trying to get in touch with his moirail, but she does not seem to be responding to any of his texts or messages, much to his chagrin.

When it strikes him that all of his messages have been piling, he understands where he went wrong in his method of contacting her, and he then decides alternatively to call her.

Before he can do that, he notices some unread texts. Thinking it might be Nepeta, he opens them as quickly as he can misfire an arrow.

—HEY EQUIUS

—THIS IS KARKAT

—DO YOU KNOW NEPETA'S ADDRESS?

—I NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER *REALLY* SOON

—I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY RIGHT NOW

—BUT IT'S *REALLY* FUCKING IMPORTANT

The blonde-haired engineer makes a noise of disgust at the sight of the curse word on his screen. But, giving careful thought, he admits to himself that he, perhaps, has misjudged Karkat. This freckle-faced sailor-tongued pipsqueak seems to genuinely care for Nepeta if he's willing to go to the trouble of contacting him in order to find her.

Even so, this situation gives Equius cause for concern.

—D-} If you are to speak with me, I would prefer you keep your foul language to a minimum, but that seems to be beside the point

—D-} Firstly, how did you obtain my ce1001ar number?

—D-} Secondly, e%actly why are you seeking out my dear moirail with such urgency?

—D-} Has something unsavory befallen her?

—EQUIUS PLEASE

—I CALLED EVERYONE ELSE AND THEY EITHER DON'T KNOW OR WON'T TALK TO ME

—JUST PLEASE

—RIGHT NOW I JUST NEED HER ADDRESS

—I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING LATER

—D-} No

—D-} You must e%plain the circumstances to me at once

—D-} She is my moirail and I have a right to know what is plaguing her

—URGH FINE

—LONG STORY SHORT

—THERE WAS A *HUGE* MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN US THAT I NEED TO SORT OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

—BUT SHE BLOCKED ME ON PESTERCHUM

—AND SHE WON'T RESPOND TO ANY OF MY TEXTS

—SO I NEED TO TALK TO HER IN PERSON

Upon reading these lines, drops of worried sweat begin to form on Equius's brow. Nepeta doesn't block people on Pesterchum unless she is dealing with _extremely_ stressful situations. Just what did Karkat _do_?

—D-} Karkat

—D-} I don't think you realize the severity of this situation

—D-} I need full details

—UH

—I'M NOT SURE THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO HEAR VIA TEXT

—IT'S REALLY *REALLY* BAD

—AND I FUCKED UP REALLY *REALLY* BADLY

—I HURT HER FEELINGS, OKAY?

—AND DON'T THINK I DON'T FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT

—BECAUSE I REALLY *REALLY* DO

—ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE THAT'S BEEN GOING ON AS WELL

—LOOK I CAN REASSURE YOU THAT SHE ISN'T IN ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER

—PLEASE I JUST NEED TO TALK TO HER

Angrily, Equius bangs his thumbs over the cracked screen of his phone.

—D-} WHat did you say to her?

—PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT

—EQUIUS I CAN FIX THIS

—JUST GIVE ME HER ADDRESS

—D-} 100K, you are testing my patience

—D-} Tell me what you said to her

—D-} And I might consider giving you aid

—IT WAS MORE LIKE

—WHAT I *DIDN'T* SAY TO HER

—BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE AWARE OF THIS

—BUT SHE WAS ABOUT AS FLUSHED FOR ME AS MARINARA SAUCE

—AND SOMEHOW SHE WAS LED TO BELIEVE THAT ONE OF OUR SCRIPTING ENCOUNTERS

—WAS SOME KIND OF RED DATE

—AND I HAD BEEN MEANING TO TELL HER FOR A WHILE NOW

—THAT TEREZI WAS ALREADY MY MATESPRIT

—BUT THE CAT KIND OF SLIPPED OUT OF THE BAG IN THE WORST OF WAYS

—AND NOW SHE THINKS THAT I NOT ONLY LED HER ON

—BUT THAT I ALSO CHEATED ON TEREZI

—NEITHER OF WHICH ARE TRUE!

—SO I NEED TO TALK TO HER AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT

—PLEASE EQUIUS

—I'M BEGGING YOU LIKE A STARVING HORSE SURROUNDED BY OFF-LIMITS VEGETATION

—GIVE ME HER ADDRESS

Karkat waits on the other line anxiously, hoping that Equius will tell him. There's a long pause before, finally, the reply comes in.

—D-} Alright

—D-} I shall tell you

—D-} But only because you begged

* * *

The moment Nepeta's mother answers the door, Karkat makes the mistake of introducing himself.

He speaks politely, "Hello, Ms. Leijon. My name is Karkat Vantas, and I am a good friend of your dau—" The woman doesn't even give him the opportunity to finish before she closes the door in his face. He stands there in shock for a moment.

He had finally found her fucking secluded-ass house… and the journey had been for naught.

But he'll be damned if he gives up that easily!

Persistently, he continues ringing the doorbell, hoping that Nepeta's mother will at least be civil enough to hear him out and pass along a message.

"Please go away." The mother says from the other side of the door, "Nepeta specifically said she doesn't want to talk to you at all."

"Ms. Leijon, please! I just want to apologize to her and straighten some things out." There is laughter from the other side of the door, and it doesn't take more than a second for him to get irritated at that sound. Tempering his voice, he continues, "Miss, please, I fail to see how this situation is funny. I just want to speak to her."

"I'm not laughing because I find this situation funny." She explains, "I just find it absurd that you think by refusing to listen to her, that she will bother to listen to you. She has already stated that she doesn't wish to speak with you, yet here you are, demanding for her to do just that. You are overstepping your boundaries, young man. Just go home. When she's ready to talk to you, she'll talk."

"If that's the case…" Karkat sighs, defeated, "Will you at least pass along a message for me?"

"If I am to respect my daughter's wishes, I'm afraid I can't." Her voice softens to something sympathetic. "I'm pretty sure you two will eventually sort this out. In the meantime, have patience with her. Nepeta isn't the type to hold a grudge forever."

"…thank you, Ms. Leijon."

* * *

Somehow, Nepeta's conversation with Gamzee leads her to meet up with him at the karaoke booth that night. To make sure that the remainder of her night will be as easy on her as possible, she turns off her phone so that she won't get distracted by unwanted texts. When she gets there, the table already has a couple of Faygo bottles and iced chamomile tea and Gamzee's already scrolling through the song selections on the projector.

"No motherfuckin' Insane Clown Posse?" He mumbles under his breath, unaware of her arrival until she clears her throat.

"Hi, Gamzee."

He turns to her with a greeting smile, "'Sup, Kitty Sister!" Dropping his remote, he walks toward her. "You ready bust some motherfuckin' wicked rhymes all up in here?"

"You bet I am!" She chimes in. Suddenly, feeling a little shy, she retracts and adds, "Unless you want to go first?"

"Oh, nah, you go right ahead. I can't find the song I want yet, but I'll keep searching." He gives her the remote and she shifts the projection towards her so she can see the song list. As she searches, the feelings begin to well up inside her. She needs a song to echo exactly how she feels. This isn't just a matter of heartbreak. This is a matter over friendship and trust, over the accident and those lost, over Terezi's heart and Nepeta's own personal strains.

And she knows just the song.

Gamzee, searching the song list laxly now, slouches back in his seat, sipping Faygo as a pre-war song from Sara Bareilles starts up on the projector. Nepeta grabs the microphone and readies herself to sing.

_No words_

_The tears won't make any room for more_

_And it don't hurt_

_Like anything I've ever felt before_

_This is no broken heart_

_No familiar scars_

_This territory goes uncharted_

A big reason she doesn't want to talk to Karkat is because she can't find any words to say to him in the mess of all her confusion and hurt, her grief for the friends she's lost and empathy for the losses of the ones who remain. This situation brings a pain so unlike heartbreak, and it's too much to deal with all at once. All she can do it let out the pain in whatever way she can.

_Each day_

_I'm counting all the minutes 'til I get alone_

_Because I can't stay_

_In the middle of it all, and it's nobody's fault_

_But I'm so low_

_Never knew how much I didn't know_

_Oh, everything is uncharted_

Gamzee gives an encouraging whoop and a "motherfuck yeah" every now and then between instrumental bits, and it makes Nepeta feel a little better with him there. His presence is somehow soothing, and she doesn't feel a need to put on a mask for him. Maybe this is why Equius seems so fond and admiring of him.

It still is beyond her how Karkat cannot appreciate his moirail… but then again, he had the nerve to take Terezi for granted. How could he?

Sure, Nepeta knows that, without all the cheating involved, she would still be heartbroken to find out that Karkat's flushed quadrant was already filled. But to be the other girl and know that her friend's world is shattering because of that… it makes her insides simmer with a level of indignation towards Karkat that she has never known before. Nepeta, deep down, cannot deny the inclinations she still holds towards that heartbreaker, but she knows that she definitely doesn't feel the same way about him as she did before. The feelings are new, but the attraction remains.

And she figures… this might just be the beginning of a caliginous crush.

_I'm going down_

_Follow if you want, I won't just hang around_

_Like you'll show me where to go_

_I'm already out_

_Of fool-proof ideas, so don't ask me how_

_To get started, it's all uncharted!_

_La da, la da da da_

Now, as the song comes to a close, Gamzee stands and claps for her, whistling. Nepeta bows and passes the microphone back to him. They sing back and forth for a couple of hours, until they realize it's getting late and that they should probably head home.

"Nothing like jammin' out to some pimpin' tunes to get back up into good spirits, yeah sis?"

"Yeah, Gamzee. Couldn't agree more." She giggles. He digs through his backpack and takes out a flash drive.

"Hey, sis, I gotta favor to ask of you. Can you motherfuckin' pass this along to your moirail next time you see him?"

"Oh! Sure!" She says, fumbling for her phone so she can store it in her sylladex app. As takes it from him, she can't help but ask, "What's in it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Hehe, just some horse doujinshi, if you know what I mean." He winks. Knowing Equius, Nepeta blushes, knowing exactly what kind of doujinshi these are. "Just a favor for a bro. He's always lettin' me borrow his boonbucks to grab a wicked elixir from the soda machine, so I figure it'd be cool to give him something in return." He takes something else out of his pocket, and hands it to her, "And if you start feeling down again, here's some coupons for Cupnuts. The place is motherfuckin' rad for these kinds of happenings." Finally, he turns around a gives a wave, "See ya around, Nepeta. Text me any motherfuckin' time."

And on that note, they part and head home.

* * *

Karkat hangs around on Eridan's front porch, watching waves crash against the shore from afar. Under the shade of the night sky, the waters are teal, the same color as Terezi's now-sightless eyes. He can't help but wonder how she's taking it, and he wishes he was able to support her right now. But like Nepeta, Terezi has cut off communication with him.

His last conversation with her remains fresh and surreal in his mind.

_"Blocking you was nothing personal. I'm way over that now, and our little fiasco of a matespritship is the last thing I need to be worried about. Believe me when I say I'd rather text this to you, but I need some time to get used to the new audio-typing app on here and my laptop." She sighs over the phone, "Either way, I think it was going to be this way even without the break-up. I feel like… this is something I need to deal with on my own, and I don't think having you around right now would help me get used to living this way. I'm willing to be friends, since you said sorry, but it will be a very long time before I can trust you enough to be my matesprit again. So… take care, alright, Karkat?" _

He'd give anything to talk Terezi right now. Hell, he'd give anything to talk to either of the girls right now, but he feels like he fucked up too royally to even deserve that much. Karkat can't help but wonder if it's possible for any guy to hate himself this much, because, right now, he feels like there's enough self-hatred in his heart to be his own kismesis. And he wants to escape this feeling so badly that it hurts, but he will never have the luxury of getting away from himself.

"Your roots are showin'," Eridan whispers.

Caught off guard, Karkat jolts and reflexively smacks Eridan upside the head. But, immediately realizing that the person who snuck up on him is no threat, he sighs, hangs his head, and mutters an apology as he returns to his self-loathing.

He groans, "Really fucking sorry to ask, but what did you say again?"

"I said your roots are showin'." Eridan gives a slight chuckle, "Well, this is a surprise. Didn't think you were the type to dye your hair, but I can help you dye it now if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I deserve even that much…" Karkat hugs his knees to his chest. "Besides, I think that's the least of my worries." They're silent for a while. In the pause, Eridan sits down beside him, and, tentatively reaches out to touch his friend's hair. Karkat doesn't flinch as the hipster's polished nails run across his scalp. Eridan has a bit of a tender look in his eyes, uncovering the dark red roots like they're some sort of unknown treasure.

"I don't get why you'd wanna dye it black. I like the real color of your hair."

"Yeah, well, I don't. My fucking red hair used to get me beat up when I was in middle school." Gently, he pushes Eridan's arm away. "I didn't like looking in the mirror and feeling scared of others over something I can't help. So… I hid it. Because I could."

"Hmph. That sure doesn't sound like a way to livve."

"Yeah, well," Karkat grunts, stretching out. "It's the only way I really know how."

Eridan hesitates to ask for a moment, but then he goes ahead, "Did… Terezi ever know?"

"Yeah. She found out a long time ago. She used to help me dye it too."

"Oh." He offers again, "I can help you do that from now on, if you want."

"Once again, no thanks. I'll do it when I go home. Speaking of which," Checking his phone for the time, Karkat gets up, "I should be heading home about now."

"Hey! Wait up a sec!" Eridan dips half his body back through the front door to retrieve something from the drawer at the side. Running back up to Karkat, he places a bunch of coupons in his friend's hands, "Here. Take these."

"Cupnuts coupons?"

"Yeah. I get them evvery Friday at the end of my shift. These are about to expire, so I'm tryin' to get rid of them. I gavve a shit ton to Gam because he lives just across the street. I woulda given them to Fef, but… you know." Eridan shrugs, "Anyway, I figure you could really use them at a time like this. So don't fuckin' waste them, 'kay?"

Looking down at the coupons, Karkat takes in a deep breath and shoves them in his pocket, "Thanks."

* * *

On Sunday afternoon, Nepeta decides to go to Cupnuts. The coupons Gamzee gave her expire on Monday, and she can't go then because she'll be busy dealing with homework. So she figures, now or never. Deals like this don't come often for her, and she's feeling in the mood to treat herself to something after all that happened yesterday.

She sits alone in a corner booth, hoping no strangers stroll by and decide that it's okay to snag a seat. True, she sympathizes with the other patrons, considering this place has been rumored to be a haven for those who have just come out of a relationship. But the less interaction she has with unfamiliar people, the more at ease she'll feel.

Fortunately, the booth is so obscure that no one bothers looking at her. So she decides it's perfectly fine to take off her hat and gnaw on it while she waits for a server to come around.

Eridan begins toward her table, so engrossed in memorizing the orders that he doesn't even notice that Nepeta is his next customer. The skirt of his maid outfit swishes from side to side, and his stride is as confident as ever. He puts great passion into his work because he commiserates and sympathizes quite well with the clientele. And he'll admit he's rather fond of the smell of pastry and the frills of the work uniform. This is a job he wants to keep, so he'll do it right!

"Hello, welcome to Cupnuts." He states cordially, "May I take your order?"

Releasing the half of the hat between her teeth, she replies, "Yes, please."

"Alright." He looks over his notepad at the customer, "What would you like—_Nepeta_?"

She looks up and releases the other half of the hat from her mouth, "_Ampurra_!" To compensate for the missing hat from her mouth, her tail begins swishing towards the ground. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I work here." Eridan states proudly, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest proudly. Noticing Nepeta's apprehension towards him, he says soothingly, "Guard down, Nepeta. This is no place for flirtin' of any kind, so you can expect that I'll behavve in only the most professional of manners here." Putting up his notepad again, he repeats, "Now, what would you like?"

"Um," she digs through her jacket pocket and takes out the coupons and a little bit of money. One is for a boonbuck-off beverage and the other is for a free combo box with the purchase of a large-mug beverage. Eridan, reading off of them, takes half her order. "Two per transaction here, right? That's what it said on the website."

"Yeah, you got it right." He said, tapping out the last three letters on the notepad. "What kind of bevverage would you like?"

"Uh, tea, Earl Grey. No sugar, extra cream."

"Alright. Got it." Sending her a cheesy smile, he says, "Comin' right up!"

It takes him practically no time to come back with the tea, but the combo box is still in the making. Having lost the urge to bite her hat, she places it back on her head and continues swishing her tail as she waits. Ruminating, her mind wanders to Karkat, his stupid-cute freckled face and intoxicating green eyes, and it becomes much clearer now that she doesn't hold any ordinary enmity towards him. This is… actually turning out to be something black.

Nepeta has never imagined she'd ever find herself harboring such intense caliginous feelings for a boy she once wished she could tenderly embrace. Now all she can think of is strangling him and kissing him at the same time. It's a confusingly bad but heart-meltingly good feeling, and it's consuming her about as much as her love for him once did.

But a cheater doesn't deserve any romantic sentiments whatsoever!

"Stupid, stupid, Karkitten!" She mutters. "Leading me on like that and cheating on Terezi! How could he? Stupid, meanie, mcbitchfacey… weenie!" With the last word, her tail bangs against the underside of the table, causing her Earl Grey to almost topple over. Squeaking, she makes a quick save for the cup's handle and manages to keep it from completely spilling over. Still, at least half of it was dripping down the table now, thankfully away from her tail.

Eridan comes back with the combo box at last, setting his sights upon a small puddle of tea.

"I'm sorry!" she mewls in embarrassment, covering up her face.

With a sigh, he sets down the box and reassures her, "Now, now, not a problem. I'll get you some paper towels… and another cup on the house."

"…thanks, Eridan." She murmurs, unable to believe those very words are coming from her mouth. Still, he's being awfully nice and helpful, so she can't just disregard it!

Once again, he comes back with the Earl Grey in almost no time at all. Carefully, she pours the small pitcher of cream into the mug and stirs it around with the mini drink-whisk plugged into the wall at the side. To distract her eyes from the bright sunlight streaming through the window, she reads the labels on the combo box. "Eat your broken heart out" the slogan reads across the top in powder-blue ink, sided by an icon of a broken heart in red. White text underneath the slogan states, "#1 comfort food post-rejection. No matter how it ended, we believe you deserve to be happy."

"'No matter how it ended'?" She scoffs, mumbling under her breath, "It never even began with us in the first place!" Picking up a cupcake from the box, she starts peeling back the paper glumly, not paying attention to the boy who just entered the establishment until she hears Eridan greeting him.

"Hey, Kar."

Mewling nervously, Nepeta tries to hide behind her tea-mug, but to no avail. Despite her hopes for otherwise, Karkat chooses to stroll right by her booth.

"Nep." He blinks, shocked to see her.

"Karkat?" She peeps, pushing her mug to the side as if to pretend she wasn't trying to hide behind it a moment ago. "What are _you_ doing here?" Crossing her arms, she reminds him and herself, "On second thought, don't answer that. I don't think I want to talk to you yet."

"That's fine, I guess…" he sighs, setting his stuff down on the seat across from her. Stubbornly, he sits down, "But I'm a paying customer, same as you, so I will sit where I want. I _truly_ hope you don't mind." The sarcasm in his tone is painstakingly obvious, and it irritates her to no end.

"Fine! If that's how you want be!" She grits through her teeth, tail swinging side to side furiously under the table. "And just so you're aware, this is no place for _any_ type of romantic interaction, so if Gamzee tipped you off that I was here and you were thinking you could take a shot at continuing some sort of affair with me, then, oh boy, you thought_ wrong_."

"Okay, I'll be civil with you." He levels out his tone, "This cheating thing? It's the biggest load of miscommunication _bullshit_ I have ever dealt with in my sixteen years of life. I will make this very clear: never once did I go on a red date with you. At no time did I _ever_ hear you say that we would be going on a red date. Whatever script-writing session you thought it was, I don't care. But you need to know that I did _not _view any of our meet-ups as flushed."

Offended, Nepeta counters, "Well, what was I supposed to think while you were complaining that you went out of your way just to see me on the last day of spring break? If it really was that much of an inconvenience, you should have not come at all or left. But do you know what you did?" She bites into her peeled cupcake, "You came in and stuck around. And if there are no red implications to that, consider me as dense as this fudge cupcake."

"Would you ever consider, maybe, I don't know, that my showing up was my trying to be a good friend?"

"Yeah, I'll definitely believe that, since you went out of your way after the accident to visit your best friend Sollux _after_ your matesprit. If friendship was really your priority there, why do your actions not reflect that?"

"Hey! Tavros told me that Sollux didn't want to talk to me, so I didn't see any harm in visiting their room second."

"Well, I visited their room _before_ stopping by Terezi. And I talked with Sollux. Do you know what he said?" She sets down her cupcake and reaches for her tea, "He said he wished you would come in and talk to him. And do you know how he greeted me? Upon hearing my name, he asked me if I was the chick with the flush crush on Karkat. I could not believe my ears. You talked to him about me! And once again, red sentiments go implied." She lets out a sort of bitter laugh, "How could I believe in your complete emotional fidelity to Terezi when all the evidence I have been given points to otherwise? I'm tired of your excuses." Nepeta adds a little more cream to her Earl Grey. Stirring it, she ponders aloud, "What brings you here anyway? Don't tell me, I know: you're here to face-stuff your sorrows away because Terezi dumped you, as any reasonable matesprit should in such a situation. Well, serves you right."

He breathes out a long, beleaguered sigh, "Well, I can't argue with you on that. I deserve what I got, and I fucking _loathe_ myself for all the shit I didn't do to prevent all of this from happening. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear, Leijon?" His voice is breaking and it seems like he's _this_ close to crying. For a fleeting moment, the idea of that happening doesn't seem palatable to her. But when she gazes into those pitiful, tender green eyes, all the broken shards of her flushed feelings slice through the tissue of her heart and make it bleed a passionate inky black for him.

The soft light of hearts that once made her eyes twinkle with happiness for him now diminish into the bitter, stinging darkness of spades. Her physical desires for him begin pooling inside her chest, and all the caliginous sentiments inside her seek an outlet.

"That is _exactly_ what I wanted to hear, cheater." She smirks triumphantly, spreading her napkins and food across the table as though she were marking her territory. "Now fuck off, and go find yourself another booth."

Karkat's eyes widen, "No. _You_ fuck off."

"I was here first, and like hell I'm going to give up this booth!"

"Well, me and my asscheeks are firmly planted here, so don't expect me to fuck off until I'm done eating!"

"Same here!" Nepeta pretty much hollers at him. Eridan strolls by again, causing the avid shipper to hush herself.

"Say, Kar, did anyone come around for your order or are you gonna sponge off of Nepeta here? Because if the latter's the case, I want those coupons back so I can use them for myself. My dad lovves the stuff they sell here, you know, and employees don't just magically get it for free." And ever so slightly, a drip of a smile tugs at Karkat's lips.

"Actually, Nepeta just agreed to share with me." He reaches across the table for her fudge cupcake, eliciting a silent shocked gasp from her as he bites into it. "And I'm going to help her finish this off. So I guess you can have your coupons back." Karkat takes them out of his pocket and lays them on the table, but before Eridan can take them back, Nepeta spots one and quickly swipes it.

"Well, Karkat agreed to share with me too. It was a two-way deal." She waves the buy-one-get-one-free coupon for the combo box, digging through her pocket for more money. "Could we have two more combo boxes?"

"Sure! And would you like a refill on the cream too?"

"Yes, please. Thanks again, Eridan." After paying for the combo boxes, she pushes the rest of Karkat's coupons back to the dress-loving hipster appreciatively.

"Oho. I'll consider this a tip. Be back in just a moment." With a final note tapped out, Eridan whirls away towards another table.

"Fucking _shit_, Nepeta!" Karkat pretty much howls at her. "Two? How in fuck's sake—mmph!" Nepeta cuts him off, shoving a glazed chocolate-cake doughnut in his mouth.

"You said you were going to help me finish this, right?" She grins cruelly, "Then _do_ it."

Everyone can sense the hatred growing fast between them, from the way they glared at each other across the table, from the way they jammed the doughnuts in their mouths. It makes all the other single, heart-broken patrons fresh out of kismesissitudes so uncomfortable that Eridan, as their server, has to peremptorily kick them out, for fear of their escalation into making out violently on the table or something like that.

"B-But!" Nepeta argues, "Eridan, you know that me and Karkat were only friends!"

Sternly, he replies, "Well, that's not how it looks to evveryone else in there. Look, if you two wanna havve your platonic/non-platonic hate date, fine. But do very fuckin' kindly take it elsewhere! I mean, havve some consideration! Not only could I _lose my job_ for lettin' my friends waltz in and metaphorically make-out with their smoldering glares, but there are also patrons who havve _just_ come out of caliginous relationships in there! No need to rub salt in their wounds."

"Gee, well, aren't you being awfully fucking _ashen_ right now, stepping between us?" Karkat counters, "What's your boss going to think of that?"

"My boss," Eridan, placing their combo boxes on the ground, puts his hands on his hips, "is going to think I am doin' a fuckin' good job because I took it out here instead of tryin' to resolve this bullshit in there! And if you two want to some reassurance that this isn't ashen," He smacks both of them upside the head, not even hesitating with Nepeta, "take that as a sign that I could care less about your relationship!" Turning on his heel, he makes his way for the back door, "Nepeta, Karkat, think what you want of me! But I'll be damned if I lose my job ovver either of you!"

"Eridan, come on! We're not—" Karkat objects, but then the door closes on them, "kismeses."

Picking up the boxes, Nepeta grumbles, "Way to fucking go, Krapkat."

"How is this _my_ fault? You were the one who shoved another fucking combo box down my throat!"

"I didn't shove _anything_ down your throat." She sticks her tongue out at him and begins walking away. "You could've just been a 'good friend' and fucked off like I asked you to earlier. Now, bye-bye."

"Wait! Don't you walk away from me! Give me one of those boxes!"

"No! Why should I? I paid for them!"

"Yeah, with _my_ coupon. Now give it up."

"It wasn't _your_ coupon anymore once you said you were giving them to Eridan. Now quit following me already!"

"Make me!"

Red-faced, she blurts, "Fuck you!"

"Fuck _you_!"

"No, fuck _you_!"

This continues all the way back to Nepeta's house. Her mom hasn't come home yet, and the only company available to the two teens is the white cat Pounce, their silent on-looker.

Nepeta, driven by frustration to the point of tears, grips Karkat by the shoulders and shoves him down onto her couch. He yelps as her nails dig in, hoping she'll relent at the sound, but she doesn't. His heart is thudding dangerously fast inside his chest, and his head is spinning. Karkat's never seen her like this before. He doesn't know what to do.

Before he can even form a coherent protest in his muddled head, she crushes her lips against his furiously. Karkat flinches once he feels the tears on her cheeks and another wave of guilt washes over him when she chokes back a sob.

Then, with four words, all the guilt burns away, leaving nothing but fierce, inky hatred for her.

Pulling away from the kiss, she murmurs in frustration, "It's all your fault." And with those words, Karkat fills her caliginous quadrant with a soft tense kiss.

"I hate you too…"

It's a different quadrant from the one she wanted him in before… but it's alright. They feel the same way about each other now, and that's good enough. It makes her heart melt all the same.

And the spark of inspiration comes back to her.

"Hey, Karkitten," she whispers between the kisses, "I guess the script is back on."


	9. EPISODE 4: Caliginous Boos

**A/N:**

**Okay! So... this script is written in a slightly different manner from the other ones. Basically, the order of the story for this skit is being told backwards, just in case anyone gets confused. Also, all nine fantrolls have officially been introduced, so there are no new characters left to put the expositions for (until season two, that is, but that's a long way off). And there you have it. **

**Enjoy, my friends.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Episode 4: Caliginous Boos

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Satlie's hive as she is arriving back from Chishu's hive. She spent not only the whole morning, but almost the whole night there as well. Her lusus had gone home without her, so she didn't want to leave her poor cobra guardian waiting all alone at home. However, it appears that her lusus hasn't been lonely at all: there, her kismesis is busy ruining her stuff. It's the first thing Satlie sees as she walks in.)

Gruide (tearing curtains and turning around) "Hey there, welcome back, Hissy."

Satlie (infuriated) Who let you in here!

Gruide "No one." (She completely rips off one side of the curtains) "I broke in through the window, as you can plainly see right here." (She then moves the curtain to the side.) "Because that's how much I hate you~"

Satlie (uttering a seething swoon) Aw, you blue-blooded bitch~

Gruide "You teal tramp~"

Satlie You nook-whiffing nitwit~

Gruide "You bulge-sucking snake~"

Satlie You half-brained heron~

Gruide "You half-braided ho~"

Satlie (gasping softly, then taking on an accusing tone) You… lusus neglector!

Gruide (eyes widened in shock) "Oh, you did _not _just say that!"

Satlie (seductively) You heard me~

Gruide (tackling Satlie and pinning her to the floor) "Ohh, you are _so_ going to get it~"

Satlie (sassily and seductively) Then what's with the hesitation, honey? Don't be so soft on me and just give it to me already~ (Because Gruide really gets annoyed when people try to even imply she is weak, it doesn't take her a second longer to crush her lips against her kismesis's and have a super-caliginous make-out with her.)

Gruide (having an internal monologue while making out with Satlie) "It really is no wonder that I hate Satlie as much as I do now. She knows exactly how to piss me off in all the right ways... not that you ever cared to know how, right, Lapine?"

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens in Lapine's hive. She has just arrived home from Durpie's place a few hours ago, hoping to spend some lazy time with her moirail. He's asleep in her recuperacoon at the moment, so she decides to join him, even though she had just spent the night at Durpie's and gotten all the rest she needed. But before she can even slip off her sweater, there is a knock at the door. Gruide is waiting outside with a covered wagon trailing behind her. Sighing, Lapine answers the door.)

Gruide "Uh, hey Lapine."

Lapine Hey. (She peers over at Gruide's wagon.) Were you planning to give something to Blende?

Gruide (awkwardly) "Y-Yeah… is he awake right now?"

Lapine Sorry, no. He's still asleep.

Gruide "Oh. Well… actually, there's another reason I came. I was wondering if you were free this after-midnight to, you know, hang out.

Lapine Yeah! I'm free right now. What were you planning to do?

Gruide "I wanted to go space fishing with you and Blende, but since he's not awake, I guess we can just go without him?"

Lapine (pausing for a second) Yeah, sure. That'd be okay.

Gruide (pleased) "Alright then!" (She takes Lapine's hand.) "Let's go."

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens in space, just below the edge of Curntle's field of gravity. Lapine and Gruide are enclosed in a space dinghy of sorts, using remote controls from inside the ship to maneuver the fishing rods and nets outside.)

Lapine (leaning back, admiring the interior of the ship) Did you really make this whole thing?

Gruide "I sure did! Made the whole damn ship from scratch, using only the finest of junkyard scrap metal."

Lapine Wow. (An awkward pause then ensues.)

Gruide (watching a fish swim by Lapine's lure) "Lapine." (Gruide catches the fish for herself so that it doesn't get away.) "Is everything alright?"

Lapine (getting out of a daze) Huh? Yeah! Everything's cool. Why do you ask?

Gruide "Oh, I just thought you were bothered by something. You just… sort of stopped talking for a moment."

Lapine It's fine. You know, the other day, I was dealing with some bene-friend drama.

Gruide …was the bene-friend Durpie?

Lapine You guessed it.

Gruide What happened?

Lapine Well… have you ever seen REDDIE angry before?

Gruide Yeah…

Lapine (shrugging) I, uh… kinda pissed her off the other day. It's the first time I've seen her like that, so… I guess I'm still a little upset over that. Not to mention… REDDIE seems to have a caliginous crush on me, but I think I'm kinda starting to hate on Durpie's matesprit, so that can't be good for our friendship either…

Gruide (at a loss for words) "Oh. Well… that sucks."

Lapine Aw, it'll be alright. I'll find a way to sort this all out. (She hesitates before asking.) How has your kismesis been?

Gruide "She's been good lately. She'll be coming back home soon from her Wriggling Day Trip. She turned 8 sweeps months ago though. She only went now because she could finally afford the trip."

Lapine Ah, I see.

Gruide "You know, I kind of wish you and Satlie got along better. It would've been fun to bring her with us too."

Lapine Eh. (She shrugs.) I don't think we'd catch any fish if that were the case. (Briefly, she imagines the two kismeses knocking fish out of each other's nets.)

Gruide (chuckling) "It's alright. Satlie's quite the catch on her own~"

Lapine (taking on an ambiguous tone) Yeah, she sure is… (Instantly, she sharpens her tone slightly.) Not that I'd hate her like that! You know we're just rivals…

Gruide (laughing) "I know, I know. I trust in your good intentions, Lapine." (She softens her tone.) "We were matesprits once upon a time, after all."

Lapine (chuckling lightly) Not that you were even aware of it at the time.

Gruide "Well… I never really understood that quadrant anyhow… still, I'm sorry about what happened between us. I've been… meaning to say this for quite some time, but I just didn't have the nerve to say it before, you know?"

Lapine (looking Gruide in the eyes and placing a hand on her shoulder) Dude. I am way over it. It's _totally_ alright. No harm done. After all, it's not like using whips during pailing was exactly a clear sign of redrom, was it?

Gruide (shaking her head, with a slight smile) "No, it wasn't."

Lapine Thought so.

Gruide "…but we really are cool now, right? I mean, I obviously don't hate you that way anymore so…"

Lapine Totally! It's all good. Not a prob, Gruide.

Gruide "…I'm glad."

(The ship interior fades out and the screen cuts away to show Gruide flying over a gorge using robotic wings. She is thinking of the last part of her conversation with Lapine as they were heading back from space fishing. Her thoughts play out as audio in the background.)

Gruide "You know, I think I'm gonna visit Satlie and welcome her back."

Lapine Aw, that sounds nice.

Gruide "Maybe I'll wreck the place a little when I get there too."

Lapine She sure is lucky to have you as a kismesis.

Gruide "Nah. I think, actually, I'm lucky I have her~" (The scene ends with Gruide crashing through the window of her kismesis's hive and landing safely with smile on her face.)

—END OF EPISODE 4—


	10. Breaking Ties, Crossing Lines

**A/N: **

**Okay, so! As close to none of you may know, I went on a vacation trip outside the country recently, so there's your explanation for the delayed update, in case you didn't see the notice on my profile. But anyhow, episode five is finally here! However, there are a couple of things I must inform you of!  
**

**(1) The script for this episode, unfortunately, is not ready quite yet. I can have it done by tomorrow and then upload it in the morning. As for the rest of the chapters and script, I'm going to need some time. I need one more week or so to catch up on all the time I missed to get the chapters and the script finished. I hope you all don't mind very much (anyhow, I assume many of you are reading because of the Katnep rather than because of my fantrolls :P).**

******(2) _This_ _chapter__ might be a little triggery for people who have experienced past sexual abuse_, so take note and take caution before proceeding. To clarify, although the episode contains a situation involving dubious consent, _there is no explicit content_ (yeah, I know, sorry to sorta spoil it, but this is important for you peeps to know!) and thusly, the rating remains as it is now. If many reviewers encourage me to move the rating up, I shall, but for now, it remains in the T-rated filter.  
**

**Alright, that's all I have to say for this episode. I put a lot of work into this, so I do hope you enjoy!**

**-Reddie**

* * *

It has been nearly a month now that they have been kismeses.

Karkat figures, even if she hates him, at least they're on speaking terms again. Hell, he'll admit she's a wonderful kismesis too, making sure to wish him unpleasant dreams each night before bed via text. There's a certain new element of flair to their script-writing meet-ups now, where one-upmanship furthers their ideas for the storyline. She challenges him and inspires him to be more creative. He should be happy, he thinks. Everything should be okay now, he thinks. He really hates her, and she feels the same way. They're perfect for each other now.

But he still feels awful because having her around some days can _really_ make him feel worse about himself.

Their make-outs are always preceded by Nepeta dropping the word "cheater" on him like a brick of shame. And it bothers him to no end. This isn't right. If she hated him for any other reason, he wouldn't feel this bad. But he's so bothered because she hates him for doing something he didn't do. Still, he refuses to argue his side of the story. He refuses to get a friend to vouch for him and tell her that all of her theories are untrue. It's because she's happy now. She finally has him right where she wants him, and who is he to rain on her black parade? And he feels like he's repeating himself with Terezi now in the caliginous quadrant: dancing around the truth to keep everyone happy.

But, in the very least, he swears for himself that he'll do everything in his power not to hurt Nepeta again.

Karkat often finds himself in need of other company as recourse from his bad days with Nepeta. He has only recently made up with Terezi, and, understandably enough, their relationship is still partially strained so he can't find the nerve to really talk as intimately as he used to with her. So that only leaves him with Eridan.

Not too long after the fiasco at Cupnuts, Eridan messaged Karkat via Pesterchum to ask if he was alright, to which he replied "I guess". It didn't take long for the two of them to push aside their pride and make up with each other. Now, they're closer than they'd ever been before.

As Eridan vents how over Nepeta he is, he gives Karkat a chance to vent his frustration with his tumultuous kismesissitude. And Eridan actually _listens_ to him, never falling asleep in the middle like Gamzee usually does. Karkat finds a sort of comfort from with Eridan that he doesn't really get from his moirail, so it really makes him glad that they're friends.

Until, Eridan admits his flushed feelings for Karkat.

* * *

It happens on a muggy June night. Karkat and Eridan have the same teacher for AP history class. Though the subject seems to be Eridan's calling, Karkat is flailing to remember the important dates of the Survivor's War.

"C'mon, Kar, think. What happened on April 13, 2009?"

"Fuck, I don't know… is that when they shot the Signless?" Karkat answers resignedly for the sixth time. Staring dizzily at his half-naked friend, he remarks internally that Eridan's nipples look weird.

Clutching his head, Eridan groans, "Ugh! No!" With a sigh, he asks, "Is that really your only reply? Seriously, humor me, Kar. Change it up a little." In reply, the green-eyed boy stands up and opens up the window, only to be met with a gust of unpleasantly warm air. "Geez, what's gotten into you? Close the fuckin' window!"

"Already fucking on it!" He grunts, slamming it shut. Sinking with a sigh, he takes his history notebook and weakly chucks it onto Eridan's pillow, really ready to give up and bullshit the in-class essay he'll have to write tomorrow. He's thinking of writing an ode to Nepeta's fine plump ass as the intro and then reciting a Godzilla-like monster tale of the great Glubthulu-borg for the body, wrapping the whole damn thing up with a brief review of the movie _Hitch_. Now _that_, that would be an A+ piece of golden deep-fried shit.

"Now, now, Kar. What's got you so crabby?" Eridan prods, setting his friend's notebook to the side.

He slouches, murmuring, "It's too hot and I feel like shit, that's what." He exhales a groan, "I can't believe the AC broke down."

"Not my fault the damn thing gavve out." The hipster huffs, crossing his arms. If there's anything weirder than the shape of Eridan's nipples, it's that speaking quirk. Karkat muses to himself. Catching himself, he notices that the heat sure seems to inspire strange thoughts.

Casting his eyes towards the window, Karkat spots Eridan's pool and suggests off-handedly, "You wanna go swimming?"

Perking up, Eridan replies, "You know, that isn't a bad idea. We could evven study in the pool too! My notebook's water-proof, so that shouldn't be a problem."

* * *

The two boys make their way to the pool out back, stripping down to change into appropriate swimming attire. Eridan lends Karkat an old pair of trunks that don't fit him anymore, knowing how scrawny the black-dyed redhead is. But, just as Karkat's getting ready to step in, Eridan grabs him by the wrist.

"Whoa, hold on! You'll get your shirt wet."

"Yeah, I know." Karkat rolls his eyes.

With a slight laugh, Eridan replies, "Well now, no need to be modest, Kar. You're with a friend here."

"It's fine, Eridan."

"No, really, Kar. If you got a binder under that top or somethin', I won't mind at all! I mean, come on, we're not in the twenty-first century anymore. As if I nevver seen a pair of boobs. Fef used to swim topless with me all the time, so no worries."

"Dammit, Eridan, that's not it!" Karkat groans, "I'm just… not very confident in my body. Thanks for the reassurance and everything, but I don't want to take off my shirt, okay?"

"Ah. Alright then." Eridan smiles compassionately, sitting down beside him on the steps. The water is tepid on the top layer yet chilly beneath.

"Perfect." Karkat sighs as he sinks down to the second step, the water up to his neck. Scooting closer to his freckled friend, Eridan brings up the history tab on his binder and searches for the study reference.

"Now, are you going to actually try this time?"

"Yeah, sure." Karkat waves.

Deciding to give a big hint, Eridan asks his prior question in reverse, "_What date_ did the Survvivvor's War begin?"

"April 13, 2009." Karkat replies, catching his drift pretty quickly. With a pleased noise and a nod, he continues.

"Now, what was the Mass Exodus plan? I'm assumin' you probably know _that_, so explain it in detail just so I can be sure."

"It was a plan laid out by a revolutionary and his family and friends." Karkat answers confidently, very familiar with this part from the lesson, "As a strategy to eradicate an exceedingly large majority of the zombies in their vicinity, they planned to lure the zombies out to sea and drown the damned things."

"Good! And, since he's the only cod-damned figure you remember, what do historians call the revvolutionary who led the Mass Exodus plan in action?"

"The Signless."

"Correct! Now why did they call him that?"

"Because, in the accounts provided by his wife after the war, he never wore his survivor colony's working-caste symbol. It was meant as a display of unity as he tried to rally other colonies together to join in on his plan via public broadcast invasion."

"Huh. You just might be able to write the paper all about this guy, Kar, if that's one of the options tomorrow. Tell me, what's the name of the colony official who shot him?"

"…fuck if I know." Karkat mumbles. Eridan is quiet for a very long time, and only after the silence is prolonged does Karkat find that his friend has been staring at him. "Eridan? What, are you so disappointed in me that you're at a loss for words now? It's just a fucking history cla—"

"No. That's not it, Kar." Eridan looks away, blushing. "That's definitely not it."

"Huh. Really? Then what is it?" When Karkat gets no response, he starts up, "Fuck, Eridan, you can't just stare at me like that and not give a fucking reason! Hey! What the fuck is wrong?"

"I fuckin' lovve you, okay?" He blurts in annoyance, pushing Karkat off of him. His friend's green eyes widen, surprised. Face flushed full red, Eridan growls and covers his face up. "Ugh, no, I mean—I didn't mean for it to come out like that! Holy _shit_…"

"Eridan… what—"

"Listen, Kar…" he sighs, "believve me when I say I know you deservve better than some idiot like me… but, I just… I thought, you know… maybe, since you aren't matesprits with Terezi anymore after all of that… if you'd let me… we could havve like some sort of, you know… red fling, if not a full-blown thing, because, honestly, considerin' our situations, you seem kinda too fragile to be jumpin' into a new matespritship after gettin' out of such a long one. And, well, I'm feelin' pretty fragile myself right now, seeing that Fef's gone for good and Nep's broken my heart by endangerin' the only part-time job I evver lovved." He sets his hands atop Karkat's shoulders, turning his friend to face him. A shiver emanates from Karkat's throat, Eridan's hands cold on his shoulders. "I been thinkin' about this for a while now, all those nights on the porch listenin' to you rant about Nep, in my room watchin' shitty romcoms, and, _fuck_, it really is awful to livve in a big house because it just feels that much emptier when you leavve. I wanna kiss you so badly that it _burns_ my insides when I think about it, Kar. I wanna hold you so close that I can feel your heartbeat thumpin' against mine, so close that I can breathe in the scent of your skin and hair. Hell, I'll evven go so far as to say that I want to be yours for years to come, but if one night is all you can spare, that's more than enough for me. Come on, Kar. What do you say?"

"_Shit_." Karkat stumbles back slightly, his face ablaze at the pure passion of Eridan's red declaration. In his right, unflustered and unharried mind, Karkat would refuse the advance, knowing how badly it could fuck things up with the only friend he can really be open with right now. But after all the shit guilt Nepeta has dumped on him, all the strain between him and Terezi, and all that florid, romantic language uttered in his general direction, receiving some flushed love after such a long time doesn't sound unappealing, even if it's from a guy who's just about as broken and self-denigrating as himself. It's almost enough to make him cry. So, he replies in a shaky murmur, "Fine. Consider me yours for the night, you dramatic asshole."

* * *

"You _fucked_ Ampurra?" Nepeta begins bawling with laughter, Karkat flushing as he tries to cover up the hickey with his turtleneck. Eridan himself is suddenly shy at the suggestion as he tugs on his own scarf and pulls Karkat by the sleeve.

"C'mon. We don't havve time for this. History class is all the way across the quad today, so we better get goin'." Eridan insists, but his friend won't listen to him, not without one-upping Nepeta first.

Karkat retorts, "Yeah, so what if I did? He's a _way_ better fuck than _you_ could ever be, that's for sure!" Eridan covers up his face at that comment, his face burning with embarrassment. Karkat said that so loud that students passing by are staring. Nepeta only starts laughing harder.

"Please! I bet it was only good up until you called Terezi's name or something!" At this, Karkat bites his lip, a bucket's worth of shame coming down on him again. But he isn't going to give Nepeta the satisfaction of knowing she's right.

Leave it to Eridan to spoil that.

"That's a fuckin' low blow, Nep! You shut your face!" Eridan growls at her, holding up a fist. And with that, Nepeta just about collapses on the floor, roaring with laughter so hard that she's clutching her belly.

"Holy _shit_! I didn't think I was right, but _wow_!" Laughter finally subsiding, she gets up and dusts herself off. "To think that you're even defending this cheater too! But then again, you've always been a dense douche." Eridan gives a glare, but she merely sticks up her middle finger and blows a kiss to Karkat with it. "You pathetic assholes deserve each other. See you around, Karkitten." And on that note, she walks off. The chime for passing period goes off, and it doesn't take Eridan more than the time's length of a snort to grab his friend's wrist and rush down the hall for class.

"Let's get movin', Kar. I did _not_ read off all those study questions while we were fuckin' for no reason."

* * *

"And so that's what happened. I can't believe that no one else bothered to explain it to you after all this time!" Nepeta finishes explaining to her moirail everything that occurred last month on that fateful weekend. Her tail swishes from side to side, bothering Equius more than just a bit. Still, he knows it would be rude to ask her to stop, because he knows that making that motion helps comfort her in this harshly-lighted environment.

"Ah, I see. Well, that's rather disheartening." Equius sighs. "No wonder Vriska has that eye patch and prosthetic arm now. And no wonder I haven't seen Aradia at all in science class as of late." He breathes out that last statement with a tone of disappointment. It must be pretty hard on him, considering that Equius had a thing with Aradia back in ninth grade. Nepeta knows it was hard on her when she found out about a week later that Feferi died in the accident too.

For Nepeta, the idea of a dead ex brings mixed feelings, though the most prominent emotion is definitely sadness. To think that she's the last matesprit Feferi had before they broke up brings a strange, distant feeling. If Feferi's life was playing out before her like a movie in those final moments, then Nepeta can't help but wonder if the scenes she played a part in still held any significance to her cuttlefish-loving ex. Because, even if it ended badly, Nepeta still treasures the good moments they spent together.

That's why now she really makes a point to cherish all the relationships she has, whether they're romantic or platonic. She didn't waste any time making up with Equius, and now she's even been hanging out with Terezi, Sollux, Gamzee and Tavros. Also, even with her disdain towards Karkat, she treasures the better days of their kismesissitude. She enjoys the witty arguments and one-upping, however overwhelming it can get to be for her at times.

"I'm dropping by Karkat's place later today, so don't wait up for me."

"Oh, alright." Equius replies nonchalantly, having gotten quite used to the idea of his moirail and Karkat as kismeses. "Still, I can't say I quite agree with your taste in blackrom partnership."

"Whatever!" She sticks her tongue out teasingly. With a smile, he ruffles her hair with a sweaty hand. "Ugh! Gross, Equius!" She protests, pushing his hand away with a laugh. He smiles at her, giving a chuckle of his own. The chime to end lunch signals them to get up.

Equius waves to his moirail, "It was nice talking to you, Nepeta."

"See you tomorrow, meowrail." She replies blithely.

* * *

As Karkat slows for the yellow light on the way back to Eridan's house, he hesitates before going on to say, "Eridan, listen… for now, let's just… not hang out, alright? Text me or pester me online whenever you want, but… I don't want to visit your place anymore." Hearing this, Eridan releases the straw of his milkshake from between his teeth and looks towards his friend in surprise.

"Wha? But, Kar… why?" Karkat can hear the tinge of hurt in his friend's voice, and it sends a wave of remorse through him. He can't back out now though, not when he's certain that his heart is still clinging flushed to Terezi, not when he's certain that he doesn't feel red for Eridan at all. God forbid he hurt Eridan the way he hurt Nepeta. He knows how high Eridan gets his hopes up when it comes to romance, so to continue hanging out alone with him would be leading him on. He can't have the scarf-lover asking for one more night, and then another, and then saying he wants a real matespritship. But friendship is really all that Karkat can give him. "Look, if it's because my place is a kinda long drivve away, then I can always get off my ass and vvisit you!"

"No. Don't do that." Karkat sighs, "Please don't."

"Kar, I… I-I don't understand!" Eridan groans, slamming his dairy beverage into the cup-holder. "You can't just push me away now! Look… just so it's clear, I'm not sore at all ovver you calling Ter's name, okay? I know you're headin' through shitty times right now, so you're gonna need someone to be there for you! I wanna be that someone! I wanna be there for you!"

"Well… that's what I have a moirail for." Karkat replies, wincing once the phrase has left his lips completely. He can see Eridan shrinking into his seat out of the corner of his eye, and Karkat can really feel the sting he just fired at his friend.

Still, Eridan has a persistent heart.

"I nevver said I wanted to be your fuckin' moirail…" He protests softly, crossing his arms. "Hell, if anythin', I'll be you and Nep's auspistice if it means I get to stay in your life. You know I'd be good at that." Karkat bites his lip at the suggestion, knowing how much worse that situation would be.

"_Fuck_, no. I'm _not_ dragging you into that." Karkat replies as coolly as he can, his hands trembling ever so slightly on the steering wheel as he pulls up to his friend's driveway. He turns to face Eridan as he adds, "And I never said I'd be cutting you out of my life. You'll still be in it. We'll still be texting."

"Kar…"

"Look…" He presses a palm to his forehead, "when everything blows over, I promise you that we'll start hanging out again." Eridan opens his mouth, ready to say something, but then he closes it, leaving any protest he was about to articulate unsaid.

"…if you say so." Eridan finally relents, unfastening his seatbelt so he can get out. Karkat watches silently as Eridan disappears inside the house, unable to hear the words his friend is murmuring to himself as he fumbles with the key card to his house. "If that's how it's gonna be, so be it! I'll wait as long as I havve to…"

Karkat finally drives away, his heart full of shame. It's not a fun situation. He keeps fucking things up. But, in the line of his fuck-up streak so far… he can't help but feel like he could've done way worse.

* * *

The first sound that Karkat hears as he opens the door to his house is the shattering of a jar. Distraught by the noise, he rushes inside, only to find his father grumbling to himself as he reads news articles through an app on his suitcase.

"Dad, what was that?"

"I don't know. Your kismesis is here though, and this is the first I heard outta her in hours. I guess she probably broke some of your shit?"

Karkat howls, "_Why _aren't you doing anything?"

"Come on, Karkat, you're a big boy now." His father pats his son on the head. "I'm not going to dictate how you handle your relationships."

"But she—what was—and I—urgh!" Storming past his dad, he marches down the hall and violently breaks into his room only to find Nepeta making a mosaic out of a broken glass jar on the floor. Her ears are covered with noise-cancelling headphones filled with classical music, and everything that the jar contained is gone.

And that jar contained USBs filled with _his favorite romcoms_.

With a nasty little glint in her eye, Nepeta looks up from her mosaic and smirks at Karkat, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. It's not even funny how frustrated he is. He's turned on a little too, of course, but that only makes him more frustrated because, _dammit_, he doesn't want to make out right now, _he wants his fucking romcoms back_.

"Nepeta, I know you took my romcoms!" Karkat grits out through his teeth, "Now give them back!"

"If you want them back, Karkitten," she purrs, waving a condom in the air, "you'll have to _fuck_ me for them." He flushes all the way up to his ears, with another good portion of his blood rushing south. This _can't_ be happening.

"A-Are you kidding me?" Karkat splutters, "_My dad is home_! You really think that's a good idea?"

She gets up off the floor and seats herself on his bed, taunting him, "I don't know. Depends, really. Do you want your romcoms back or not?" She shrugs her jacket off her shoulders so that the tank top underneath shows, revealing her soft but slightly sculpted mocha-skinned shoulders. "Because I'm not giving them back until you fuck me." He stares at her for a long, hard time, really hoping that this is just some drawn-out, sick joke. But when she starts tugging off her top and sliding off her pants, revealing the waistband her tail is attached to, he realizes she's serious. She actually wants to do it.

His voice is trembling, "F-Fucking _shit_, Nepeta."

Now, she's really crossed the line. She isn't playing fair. Those are his favorite romcoms, and he needs them back _now_. He can't trust her to leave his house with those! She'll probably do something like mix all their labels up just to spite him if he lets her leave his house with his romcoms!

Karkat has never felt more scared in his life, because here he is, stuck in a room with a girl holding his most valuable possessions for ransom at a price that he _really_ isn't ready to pay.

"Come on, Karkitten." She lilts impatiently, "I can't wait forever, you dirty cheater…" Shakily, he avoids the glass on the ground and makes his way towards her, until, finally, he's atop her and they're face-to-face. Gulping nervously, he tentatively presses a kiss to her lips, only to be met with a more forceful one as she tries to flip their position. But he'll be damned if he loses the upper hand, so, in retaliation, he pins her up by the wrists and kisses back with the same intensity, pressing her body into the mattress with his own. Her tail curls beside her as he kisses again and again, the two of them becoming sloppier with each time their lips meet. It's a stalemate, and it's going nowhere fast until someone decides to make the next move.

Karkat's pulse fills his ears like it's the only damned noise in existence, and he's starting to shake so hard that he can't notice that Nepeta's starting to tremble too. Everything is happening so fast that she's having a hard time keeping up. They're both frightened now of what's about to come, but both are too stubborn to capitulate that easily. It's only a matter of minutes until one of them gets pushed too far.

Nepeta breaks her wrists from Karkat's grasp and shoves her hands up his shirt, causing him to gasp between their mouths as she scrapes her nails down his sides. And, almost as if it were an automatic reaction, he brings down his hands to grip her chest, eliciting a very small, surprised squeal, which he subsequently muffles with his lips. To retort, she undoes his fly and plunges her hands under the waistband of his boxers to clutch his rear. And Karkat, hesitating only a second on his counteroffensive, then decides to yank down her underwear, sending a wave of uncontrollable terror through her. She wants to scream. Fuck, she's not ready for this at all!

At last, Nepeta caves in before he can cover her mouth with his own, barely managing to get her voice above a hoarse whisper, "S-stop!"

Karkat doesn't need to be told twice as he backs off the minute he hears that word.

"Shit, shit, shit! I'm sorry!" He covers up eyes as the tears start leaking out faster than he can stop them. Whatever god or force or fate that made her want to stop, he thanked it. But his nerves are still on edge and his chest is still full of dread, like a sort of aftershock. Meanwhile, Nepeta takes a moment to catch her breath, feeling dizzy and sick as she berates herself mentally. Holy _fuck_, what was she thinking?

Once she regains her bearings, she pulls up her panties and inches towards Karkat, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinches at the touch, peering up at her through puffy red eyes, still streaming with tears. He opens his mouth, wanting to say something, but all the words fall off his lips before he can even speak them. When she looks into those green eyes, she sees overwhelming hurt and brokenness and… terror. No… this is all wrong. This isn't what she wanted at all!

"Oh, Karkat…"she murmurs comfortingly, before taking him into her arms and embracing him, "oh no, oh no, don't cry, I'm sorry. Please, Karkat, don't cry… everything's alright now, okay? Everything's alright…" With quivering arms, he returns the embrace.

"H-Holy fucking _sh-shit_…" he hiccups through sobs, "c-can I just have my fucking r-romcoms back now?"

"Yeah! H-Hang on." She scrambles to take her phone from her jacket lying off to the side and dump all the USBs from her sylladex app. As she pushes the pile towards him, she sighs remorsefully, "Here. Take them." She sits there for a moment, watching Karkat gather up the flash drives. "Shit. I'm… holy shit, I am so very sorry. I-I just…" she shakes her head, "No! There's no excuse for this. This is my fault, and I am absolutely, truly, _really_ sorry." Before Karkat can even form a reply in his head, she starts changing back into her clothes as quickly as possible. "I-I need to leave. I'm sorry. I… I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Nepeta… wait—" he's spoken too late, as she's already shut the door on him. He slaps his hand against his forehead, and just sits there on his bed for a while, the day's last remnants of sunlight fading through the cracks of his blinds. It takes a few hours for the feeling of relief to finally settle into him. But then, a knock comes at his bedroom door.

"Karkat? A friend of yours here wants to see you."

"Ahem."

"Oh! Sorry, I mean, she wants to speak with you."

Flopping back on his bed and seeing no need to put on a shirt for someone who can't see it, he sighs, "Come in, Terezi. And be careful of the glass on the floor."


	11. Shallow Hatred

So Nepeta spends that night staring at her ceiling, thoughts whirling through her mind.

Never in her life has she imagined that such a thing could go so wrong. Plenty of kismeses have sex all the time. Hell, she was _born_ from a kismesissitude! So, when she imagined their first time making hate, she envisioned the taste of dominance and victory on her lips, the sound of Karkat calling her name and challenging her to make it an even better fuck than the one he had with Eridan. And, ooh, how the jealousy burned in her over Eridan! The thought of those two douchewads making love drove her up the wall, and, for some reason, it just fueled a drive in her to dominate. There was an aching need for her to experience everything Eridan did that night with Karkat. She craved it like a starved cat craved all the rats it could get its paws on. She wanted to claim the red fling as her own, but that feat simply wasn't possible.

So, she decided, if she couldn't claim what was theirs, she'd initiate something of her own, and outdo it so well that Karkat could only ever think of her every time his blood rushed south. _That_ was what she had wanted: to possess not just a space in his heart, but also in his mind. She wanted to creep into his thoughts whether he liked it or not, the same way he did on all the wasted nights she had once spent thinking red thoughts of him.

But, boy, had she gone about it all the wrong way. It was obvious she crossed a boundary in taking those romcoms. She knows how much they must've meant to him. When she turns the tables in her head, she sees how unfair it was. If Karkat had taken all of the OTPs off her shipping wall and threatened her the way she did with him, then he had officially gone too far by her standards.

Every healthy kismesissitude has clear boundaries. Good kismeses don't push too far. Good kismeses don't intimidate! Sure, they would challenge each other, but it's _never_ about intimidation! It's all about besting the other's efforts. As the shipper she is, she knows this… but she let the heat of her momentary jealousy take over. She used her heart instead of her head to make a snap decision, and this is where it got her.

She didn't just _scare_ him. She terrified him to the point where he felt helpless. And she of all people _knows_ how that feels and how awful that must've been for him. He was shaking so hard… and, she actually made him cry.

So, she has to make sure this will never happen again! They need some ashen intervention from someone they know that they can both talk to honestly. And… she knows exactly who would be perfect for them in that quadrant.

* * *

"Hey, Terezi! Wanna have lunch with me and Equius?" Nepeta hollers across the cafeteria from atop her table.

Without turning to them, she replies, "Sure! Where are you guys?"

"Over here! To your left!"

Equius insists quietly, "Nepeta, please, get off the table!" Before the cat-lover can even make a response to shush him, Terezi taps her cane against the leg of their table.

"Nepeta? Could you point me out to a seat?"

"Yeah." Nimbly, she jumps off the side of the table and takes Terezi by the hand, guiding her to sit at her side, diagonal from Equius across the table. "There we go."

"Thank you." Terezi smiles. Taking her phone from her pocket, she drops her lunch container out of the sylladex app and taps her phone again to make sure it was what she was looking for.

"Item name: gazpacho." Her phone speaks, bringing another smile to her face. "Exchange item?"

"No. Close sylladex." She states very clearly into the phone, causing the sylladex app to close. Giggling with a tinge of triumph, she nudges Nepeta as she digs into her cold soup with a spoon, "That audio app sure is something, isn't it?"

"It's quite interesting!" she mews pleasantly, but the smile fades from her face once Equius clears his throat to remind her exactly why she wanted Terezi at this table. Right, this isn't going to be an easy thing to admit, obviously. Nepeta begins tentatively, "You know, I _really_ like you, Terezi."

"Oh?" Terezi leans in closer, her teeth showing in a smirk that's downright flirtatious, "And what exactly are you proposing by saying that, Nepeta?"

Blushing, Nepeta stutters slightly, "I-I was just… thinking maybe… uh…"

"You're starting to sound like Tavros, sweetie. Come on, lay it on me~"

"I was thinking," she gulps, "maybe… we could be something other than friends?"

She intensifies the charm in her tone, "Oh, but in what sense?"

"I was thinking… ashen." Nepeta mutters shyly. Terezi's expression drops, causing Nepeta to add quickly, "Not to say you aren't desirable in a red sense!"

"Oh no, Nepeta, it's fine. There's no bruised ego to nurse here." She waves, "I'm just… confused is all. Who could you possibly need me to auspisticize you with?" She points in the wrong direction, meaning to gesture to Equius, "Can't be this big lug over here, can it?"

Taking Terezi's arm and putting it down so she'll stop pointing at the trashcan, Nepeta says, "No, it's not Equius. I, um, want you auspisticize me and my kismeowsis."

"You have a kismesis?" Terezi gawks, taking off her glasses. Equius stares for a while, wondering how such normal-looking eyes could now be sightless. Nepeta nudges him with her foot under the table, silently waggling a finger at him in disapproval.

"Yes. Didn't he tell you?"

"I _know_ him?" The auburn-haired girl practically exclaims. Suddenly, she remembers the glass on Karkat's floor from last night, and she can't help but guess, "Oh wait… you're not saying it's—"

"Karkat? Yeah. He's been my kismeowsis fur a month now. " Groaning, Nepeta presses a palm to her forehead. "Wow. I can' believe he kept it from you all this time…"

"Huh. No surprise here." Terezi answers with a tone of hurt, crossing her arms.

"Anyway…" Nepeta starts guiltily, "Even if he is a total weenie, I crossed a line with him I _really_ shouldn't have. I'm _absolutely_ not proud of what I did, so I want to make sure it _never_ gets that bad again."

"Whoa, Nepeta. What did you _do_?"

"I'm not… very comfortable answering that question for now, if that's okay…" Hearing the utter shame in her voice, Terezi backs off. Nepeta continues, "You know, I couldn't help but think that you'd be perfect for us. You seem to be getting along with him again, and, well, you and I get along great. I might be rushing things here because I've only had this on my mind for a night, and I don't want to just spring this on you... but…"

"Oh, Nepeta. Say no more!" Terezi slings an arm around her brown-eyed friend, "I'll definitely be your auspistice!"

"Ah!" The shipper girl throws her arms around her friend. "Thanks, Terezi! You're the best!"

* * *

"You've _got_ to be fucking kidding me." Karkat stares disbelievingly at his kismesis. "Urgh! This is _awful_. And how could you do this without asking me how _I_ felt about it?"

"Well, I didn't know how you'd react!" Nepeta replies. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure we'll be better off this way… she's the purrfect match fur us!"

"Excuse knee—I mean, me, Leijon, Vantas," their math teacher clears her throat, "I need your eyes up here. Now stop talking, alright?" The two nod, Nepeta biting her lip. After a few minutes of silence, Karkat blows out a big sigh.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" He repeats under his breath. "Fuck, Nepeta, you don't know what kind of position this puts me in! Shit… what will Eridan think if he finds out?"

"_Ampurra_?" Nepeta crinkles her nose. "Ugh, are you implying he was _ashen_ fur us?"

He rejoins in a whisper, "Well, who fucking _knows_? All _I _know is that he offered to be our auspistice not that long ago, and I turned him down. How's it gonna look if he sees Terezi getting between us in the halls one of these days?"

"Tch! Like _I_ care. Besides, he has _horrible_ chemistry with us!" Nepeta protests, "Like, crap, he gets along so much _better_ with you, so he'd _never_ side with me. And, you know, I bet you he'd only be in it so he could get into your flushed quadrant!"

Defensively, he retorts, "Hey, you shut up! Don't talk about him like you got him all figured out!"

"Excuse me agian!" The teacher interjects. "Goodness, you two! I'll send youse both into the hall if I hair—urgh—I mean, hear another peep out of either of youse, is that clear?"

"Yes, Ms. Lalonde." They answer.

"Alright. Now, students, be her— I mean, sure to pay close attention to this probelm. This is gonna be on the finals next wake— I mean, week and I want all of youse to do good, okay?" As she returns to the question on the overhead projector, Karkat sends his kismesis a pointed glare, but she doesn't pay attention to him. Her mind is somewhere else, and that somewhere is definitely not the math.

Nepeta can't help but wonder how the school year can be ending already…

* * *

A week later, Nepeta sits at home doing her math homework in an app on her notebook, she receives a message via Pesterchum.

CG DAMMIT NEPETA

AC :3 {*ac, pawsing to take a meowment away from homework, tilts her head to the side in genuine confusion and asks, "yes, karkitten?"*

CG DON'T PLAY COY WITH ME

CG I KNOW YOU STILL HAVE ONE OF MY ROMCOMS

AC :3 {what? :O

AC :3 {I gave all of them back to you yesterday!

CG "OH, OF FUCKING *COURSE* YOU DID," KARKAT SAYS WITH OBVIOUS SARCASM

CG QUIT PLAYING GAMES ALREADY, LEIJON

CG YOU SHOULD KNOW IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANOTHER DOWLOADABLE VIDEO FILE FOR ANY FILM THAT OLD

CG AND IT ONLY MAKES SENSE YOU WOULD SINGLE OUT *THAT* ONE OF ALL MY FUCKING ROMCOMS

AC :3 {hold on…

Setting aside her notebook for a second, Nepeta takes out her phone and rummages through her sylladex app, scrolling through the blank spaces in her inventory until she finds a lone USB with a bright red heart-shaped sticker marked with a "1" on it. She drops the item onto her lap and plugs it into her notebook. A single but very large video file is the drive's only content.

The file name is_ Eagle v. Shark_.

She remembers now. She captchalogued that one separately as a calling card of sorts… so she could use it to get him to watch it with her for a hate date later on. But she was so flustered and ashamed by the disaster that she forgot all about that plan!

AC :3 {oh

AC :3 {okay, i found it…

CG FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC

CG NOW GIVE IT BACK

She takes a moment to contemplate her reply. Now, she could just go over to his place and give it back to him… but what fun would that be?

After all, what kind of kismesis would she be if she didn't at least pose a little bit of a challenge for him?

AC :3 {actually

AC :3 {i think i'll hold onto this one

CG WOW

CG YOU KNOW, CONSIDERING THE GODAWFUL SITUATION YOU MANAGED TO OBTAIN THAT THROUGH

CG I THOUGHT YOU'D ACT MORE A LITTLE MORE COMPASSIONATELY TOWARDS ME OVER THIS

CG BUT I GUESS I WAS FUCKING *WRONG*

CG AND THAT YOU'RE WAY MORE FUCKING *DESPICABLE* THAN I GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR IN THIS FUCKING ASS-WIPE MESS OF A QUADRANT

AC :3 {hold on there, karkitten

AC :3 {I have a purrposal to make

CG LEIJON

CG WHAT MORE

CG IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK

CG COULD YOU POSSIBLY *WANT* FROM ME?

AC :3 {here's the deal

AC :3 {if you can pilfur something of mine while my guard's down

AC :3 {I'll give you back _Eagle v. Shark_

CG AND IF I CAN'T?

AC :3 {well, *ac gives a delightfully cruel smirk* then I guess you'll have to come over my place

AC :3 {and beg on your hands and kn33s at my doorstep whenefur you f33l like watching this particular film, my dear karkitten

CG FINE THEN

CG AS OF RIGHT NOW

CG CONSIDER ANY AND ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS SHIT RANSACKED

CG BECAUSE YOU WILL *NEVER* FUCKING SEE IT COMING

AC :3 {*ac chuckles* that's what I like to hear!

AC :3 {*ac blows a kiss with her middle finger to her darling kismeowsis as a furwell*

CG …fuckinghateyoutooyoufuckingpieceofshitbye

"Aww, well isn't that purrecious?" She swoons, logging off of Pesterchum.

* * *

"For the last time, Karkat," Terezi groans, reclining against her couch. "I am not going to help you steal Nepeta's underwear. Like, _how_ does that even strike you as an appropriate thing to ask of me?"

"Because you're our auspistice now, aren't you? You're supposed to meddle around in our shit and resolve our issues with each other. And _this_ is a fucking issue!" Karkat flails.

"For the record, remember that I only became your auspistice on Nepeta's behalf. And, I mean, come on, Karkat. Her _underwear_, really? I think I draw the line there." She pops open a can of Faygo, the one that Gamzee had dumped on Karkat as a "surprise palemate gift" (aka something he wasted too much money on) at the last minute after school.

Karkat blurts out, his face red, "_She's_ the one who crossed the line! So _I'm_ the one who deserves some of your fucking sympathy here!"

"Ugh, I just…" Terezi sighs, "you know, what did she even _do_ to you? She never told me." Karkat withdraws slightly at the question.

"I don't…" he mutters, "wanna talk about it."

"Oh, well, _that's_ great. Leave your auspistice _completely_ out of loop here. How am I supposed to auspisticize you two then?" The auburn-haired girl grumbles a little more quietly, "And how do you expect me to trust you again if you won't even open up to me anymore?"

Karkat sits there for a moment, letting the words marinate in his head. She's right. It isn't fair to her. And he's not repeating his last mistake with her again.

"…like, fuck, i-it'd only been a month… and…" Karkat fiddles with his sleeve, "Nepeta… sort of sprung herself on me. She came in and held my romcoms over my head… and tried to coerce me into, uh… hate-making, as I'd like to put it… but I wasn't ready yet. And... I guess she wasn't either."

"Oh my god…"

"But I stopped as soon as she said so!" He groans, at loathe to recall the whole event despite his wishes to keep it as far away from his mind as possible. "And am I fucking glad she did." Terezi understands his reluctance all too well. Karkat has never been a very self-loving guy, so his head never really went easy on his ego, let alone his body image. The bullying over his real hair color only made it worse and intensified his self-consciousness.

Karkat doesn't fear sex. In fact, he's divulged to Terezi and Sollux that, like the sap he is, he wants sex in both concupiscent quadrants to be emotional, passionate, and most importantly, special. Not to mention that he has long since had his first with Terezi, and _fuck_, was it special. But what he does fear is that, one day, he'll shed every outer layer to someone he feels deeply for, and that they'll be overcome with disappointment, the same disappointment he feels every time he looks in the mirror after a shower at his scrawny, wiry body. It's one thing for him to feel that way towards himself, but when someone else feels that way, it just really… gets to him. It makes him feel like, deep down, he really is right to hate himself. And that, he realizes, is a mentality too self-destructive for even him to carry.

Terezi sinks into the cushions of her couch, trying to fathom, "How did you even end up in a kismesissitude with her anyway?"

"Eridan gave me some coupons for Cupnuts, and I guess Gamzee gave her some too. We met up there by chance. Next thing I know, we got kicked out of the place for looking like we hated each other a little too much, and then I'm on her couch making out with her. Made it official over Pesterchum the next day after she unblocked me."

"And you hate her because…?"

Karkat blushes, "She's a fucking bitch, as you can clearly see."

"Ahem."

"Oh, sorry. I mean, uh, as you've heard."

"Elaborate."

"Well… for one thing, she's stubborn as hell. For another thing, she has the worst taste in music. Also, fuck, is her laugh _annoying_! She barely ever takes me seriously. Oh, she always calls me Karkitten, and that's really fucking _irritating_. Not to mention she always tells me to have unpleasant dreams before I go to sleep at night. Talk about dedication. I appreciate that a lot, actually. It gets on my nerves but… you know, shows me she cares enough."

"Okay…" Terezi slumps to lean her cheek on her hand, "and… she hates you because?"

"She still thinks I cheated on you. That's really all I can think of."

"Ouch. That seems pretty shallow."

"I know." He mumbles. "She didn't exactly get into this relationship for the right reasons." Terezi raises an eyebrow, aware that Karkat should know better than this.

"So why don't you break up with her then?"

He mutters, "I can't."

"You mean you don't want to." She rephrases, causing him to roll his eyes. Of course she wouldn't understand. Doggedly, Terezi quips, "Urgh! Karkat, you can't just keep doing this! You're basically leading her on all over aga—"

"I'm not!" He nearly shouts, Terezi taken aback in response. Softening his volume, he repeats, "I'm not… leading her on. Because I do hate her. I really, truly _hate_ her. But at the same time, I think she deserves to be happy after all the shit I put her through. Like… fuck, Terezi, I'd known for fucking _months _that she was flushed for me in the past, and now, even if she doesn't hate me for who I really am, she finally has me right where she wants me. It's the least I owe her. I mean, she's _happy _now." He blows out a long, subtly pained sigh, "And who the fuck am I to take that away from her?"

"Karkat…"

Terezi sits there in silence for moment, opening her mouth to say something else and then closing it just as quickly. She has nothing to say to that because she knows Karkat all too well. She knows he's not going to change his mind no matter how many arguments she puts forth. He always wants the easy way out. She knows that, if there's a wall in his way, he's not going to climb it, to break it, to deal with it head on. No… he'll go around it.

He'll always try to find some way to go around it.

Karkat's phone chimes, signaling him to start for home before it gets past his age group's curfew.

"Well, I gotta go home. I need to work on the script for the webseries."

"You guys are still doing that?"

"Yeah…" Karkat rubs the back of his neck, "But with everything that's been going on lately, we've just… been making slow progress is all." He makes his way over to the door, "_Really_ fucking slow progress." A look of sympathy crosses Terezi's features before she turns her unseeing gaze downwards. Indeed, she knows him too well, and it's not like she can unlearn him after two long, intimate years of dating.

For a moment, Karkat's heart swells with emotion, and he wants to tell her he still loves her, that he can't wait to vacillate out of this stupid gray area back into the red, back into her arms. He wants to say he'll wait for her. But instead, he cowers away, afraid to hurt her more than he already has by making this fine mess. Gaining back trust is such a difficult thing. It's all baby steps, and fuck, does he _despise_ baby steps. Hell, after all that's happened, he wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't even offer him a second chance.

But he doesn't want to think of that outcome, likely as it may be. In the midst of all the stupid shit on his mind, he needs _something_ to hope for.

"Oh, well… talk to you another time."

"Yeah. You too…"

* * *

As Karkat's fingers dance at the keys of his laptop, the party swirls through his mind.

_ Tavros lights up with a shy smile, "Alright, uhh, truth or dare, Vriska?"_

_ "Hmm… truth, since all of you have been going with dare like it's the only option."_

_ "Boo, weak." Eridan taunts. _

_ "Shut up, you jackass, no one asked you." Vriska rejoins._

_ "Come on, hon. Only wimps choose truth."_

_ "Oh, yeah, sure, says the guy who cringed when I bit into a popsicle."_

He glances to the foot of the mirror on his closet door, remnant glass dust glittering on the floor in its reflection.

_"Uh wow, um," Tavros shrugs, "you two certainly are a feisty pair." _

_ Vriska crosses her arms, "Just get on with it, Tavros. We don't have all night."_

"_Okay, uh… Vriska, now I'm curious actually, um... out of everyone in this room, who do you hate the most?"_

As he looks away, his phone chimes with an incoming text.

"_Honestly?" She quirks up an eyebrow._

"_Um, well, yeah… you picked truth, so…"_

He picks up his phone to see who it is.

_Looking straight at Eridan, she smirks, "I hate Aradia the most." She points, "Definitely more than this loser here, that's for sure." Eridan can only laugh in reply._

_ "Good one, Vris. You know you'll never hate anyone more than me."_

It's from Eridan.

_"For fuck's __**sake**__, Eridan!" Vriska just about erupts at him, "How many times do I have to tell you? We're __**done**__! __**Doner**__ than __**done**__! You're __**not**__ my kismesis anymore! Take a fucking hint and get__** over**__ it!"_

"I miss you, Kar…" Karkat mumbles, numbly reading Eridan's text aloud. The statement stirs up a bit of pity in his chest, but nothing more. He wishes he felt a little worse. Actually, he wants to talk to Eridan again just as badly, but doesn't know what to say to that right now. It's almost funny. For a minute back there at Eridan's place, he could've sworn he felt flushed for the guy. And it gave him hope, like maybe moving on wouldn't be that hard after all.

But when it came down to it… Terezi's name was the one that instinctively passed his lips that night. That said so much more than a split moment of vacillation ever could.

"_Aw, come on, sweetspade. No need to flirt like that just to catch my attention. Just say you hate me." _

He puts down his phone and looks into the mirror again with a sigh. It doesn't take him too long to notice what's wrong.

"_I won't." Vriska says smugly, "Because I don't hate you like I used to anymore."_

His roots are showing again._  
_


	12. Where One Door Opens, Another Closes

**A/N:**

**Hey, a few things for you as you read this chapter: the lyrics to the song are made up by me, _Eagle v. Shark_ is an actual movie that was _not_ made up by me (belongs to all the peeps who helped make it and, yes, it's on Netflix), and it's never a good idea to take drugs while you're on meds because they are pretty much definitely going to react to each other in some awful way.**

**Anyhow, hope you enjoy! The script for this episode will be up tomorrow morning (I'm probably too late for you east-coasters, so, sorry :/)!**

**-Reddie**

* * *

It's Saturday morning.

Nepeta jolts awake, heartbeat thudding like crazy inside her chest. She realizes she's crying and she isn't sure why until slowly, fragments of Feferi come to mind. Oh, that's right… Nepeta had a dream about her last night.

_"Ah, Nepeta, don't stop… oh, I love you so much~"_

Heat rushes to her face once she fully remembers the nature of the dream.

"No, no, no!" She tries to shake the dream from her head, "This is bad. This is so bad…" The tears in her eyes only intensify. That feels so wrong. She can't just have a wet dream about her first time with a dead ex. And yet, she did.

Turning on her side, she sees a slice of an unfinished dessert on her bedside table, crinkling her nose once she understands the cause of her fucked-up dreams: a slice of double chocolate chip pot cake from Gamzee. She should've known better than to trust a tasty home-made gift from her only stoner friend.

Sitting up, she attempts to wipe her eyes dry, but to no avail. Right now, that only feeling filling her heart is that of longing, of a yearning to bring back someone who cannot return. The dead don't just come back to life. Nepeta knows that. And that fact makes her heart ache so badly, the sting spiraling through her veins outward. All she wants now is to forget, and for the pain to stop.

Commencing with her morning routine, she takes her pills and mashes her remaining cake into her daily bowl of cereal. As she swallows down tears alongside large spoonfuls of cake and cereal, her mind goes dull. The medication reacts with the pot cake, and suddenly, she doesn't feel the need to log onto Pesterchum and complete her morning routine. All that fills her head is Feferi. All that fills her head is reviving her.

So she gets up, walks to her closet, and pulls out the raspberry-pink sundress she never gave back after their breakup.

* * *

"Hello, my lovely little honeybee!" Nepeta giggles, throwing her arms around Sollux as he answers the door. Unsure of how to react, Sollux hugs back awkwardly, only causing her to tighten her embrace. "Sorry I haven't visited in a while."

Once he recognizes her voice, Sollux chuckles, "Oh. Hey, Nepeta."

"Nepeta?" The cat-lover freezes up for a moment before bursting into roaring laughter. "Don't be silly, Sollux! It's me, Feferi!"

He's taken aback by the declaration, letting go of Nepeta instantly.

"…Feferi?"

"What's wrong?" Nepeta croons, "Aren't you glad I'm back? It's all thanks to Nepeta! Isn't she just wonderful?" She takes him back into her arms and snuggles up against him, dropping her voice down to a more romantic tone, "She was thinking… maybe this time around, that you and I would be happy together in the flushed quadrant."

He can't help but blush.

"Uhh… well…" she gives a tiny squeak of hopeful anticipation, and finally, Sollux sighs, deciding to play along, "Since Nepeta went to so much trouble, I _guess_ it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot… come on in."

"Hooray!" She cheers, giggling loudly. Pulling Sollux, she takes him by both hands and lets herself into his house. Dropping her phone from a skirt pocket, she clumsily presses the tip of her tail against the screen and puts a song on play. Swaying with him, she murmurs, "Dance with me, you cutie."

Sollux, now quite disarmed by her charm, breathes out a chuckle because she has pretty much rendered him unable to give a shit. Placing a hand on Nepeta's waist, he murmurs back, "Okay…"

_If we could, then we would be a little less pathetic _

_If you were at war, I'd be a pretty bad medic_

_But I just want to kiss the scars away_

Nepeta buries her nose in the crook of his neck, picking up on the faint scent of honey soap. The scent is intoxicating, and she knows Feferi would've just loved it. She just loved sweet smells. She used to wear all sorts of dessert-scented perfumes, making it little difficult for Nepeta to keep her lips off her.

And Feferi loved holding people really close too. After months of dating, Nepeta remembers just how much of an octopus Feferi was when it came to cuddling. She used to have to untangle herself from Feferi all the time before lunch ended.

_If you wanted more, then baby I would give it_

_The sea and sky are yours as long as you see fit_

_Give me honey sugar love_

_Nothing but your starry eyes above _

She closes her eyes, swept up in his smell and the sound of the song. Nepeta has to bite back a couple of tears. This was her and Feferi's song once upon a time, after all.

Back when they were home alone at Nepeta's place one summer night, this song came on the radio. Feferi was feeling playful and caught Nepeta by surprise with a smooch on the cheek right before sweeping the cat-lover off her feet to spin along to the tune. Nepeta wouldn't dare forget the way Feferi giggled, the way Feferi's hand felt folded up in her own, the way the skirt of Feferi's dress swirled around her legs. They ended up making love for the first time that night, and the morning after Feferi ended up leaving her dress behind and taking one of Nepeta's home by mistake. Fortunately for Nepeta at the time, the cuttlefish-lover was never aware of having made the mistake. So she tucked the dress away in her closet, pulling it out on occasion just so she could inhale the smell of her sweet matesprit on lonelier nights. But she hadn't touched the dress ever since their break up.

And now, here Nepeta is, wearing it while dancing with Sollux.

_Kiss me like the world is ending_

_Even if we're just pretending_

_It's alright, it's okay_

_At least it gets us through yet another lonely day_

_Hold me like the sky is falling_

_No more yearning, no more stalling_

_Let's shine bright in pouring showers_

_Let's just take back what is ours_

Sure, Feferi wasn't exactly the best matesprit, but Nepeta understood the circumstances and didn't hold it against her. They were no hard feelings after the break up, just Eridan mucking everything up between them. They stayed on good terms, and the only reason they remained distant was because of him.

All in all, Feferi was a nice girl. She didn't deserve what happened to her. What she did deserve… was a second chance at life.

Nepeta might be high as a kite right now, to actually believe she's Feferi just because she's wearing the dress, but that's how strongly she feels about it. She'd rather give herself up to let a dead girl relive an old moment in the arms of someone new. That in itself feels right, and it makes Nepeta happy, to know that she could do something good for the sake of a friend, for the sake of someone she once loved.

Just as she's really starting to sink into Sollux, a _very loud_ beeping alarm goes off, interrupting the song and spooking Nepeta. Searching for a way to calm down, she lets go of Sollux and reaches for her hat, only to find that she's clutching her hair. That's right… she left it at home because Feferi wouldn't need to sink her teeth into a freaking hat to calm down, would she? Not to mention she didn't bring her tail either! So now she has no recourse to distract herself from the noise!

Panicked, Nepeta covers up her ears, furiously begging Sollux, "Agh, fuck, _please_, turn it off, turn it _off_!"

"_Shit_!" Sollux rushes over his phone, tapping the screen repeated until the voice command comes on, "Alarm deactivate!"

"Command received." The phone drones, switching off the alarm. "Activate snooze?"

"Negative. Restore sleep mode."

"Sleep mode reactivated." He walks back over to Nepeta, shrugging as a sort of apologetic gesture. "Sorry about that. You can uncover your ears now."

"What?" Nepeta says, hands still on her ears. With a sigh, he takes both her wrists and gently guides them away from her ears. Only the instrumental outro of the song meets her ears now, soothing her slightly. As the song ends, she thanks him and then asks, "What was _that_ for?"

He sighs, "It's a reminder for me to take my meds. I need to do it every two hours, ugh. I get really tired sometimes when I take them, so I'm not exactly thrilled by the task."

"Aw," Nepeta touches her chin sympathetically, "my poor honeybae…" The silly pet name elicits a snort of giggle from the hacker boy, and he begins to drag his feet towards the kitchen for the pills and a glass of water. Nepeta tags along, and then sits down across the table to watch him do what she's been doing every morning for years now. Once the pill is down his throat, he groans, suddenly feeling quite dizzy.

"Fuck… I'm sorry to leave you like this, uhh, Feferi, but…" He gets up and starts to make his way towards the couch. "I need to lie down for a bit. I'll be out like a light in probably a couple of seconds. You're welcome to stay, just… let yourself out whenever, okay?"

"Oh, alright then~" She smooches Sollux on the forehead, sitting down beside him and stroking his hair the way Feferi used to stroke hers until, at last, he fell asleep. Casting a glance to his abandoned phone on the kitchen counter-top, she tentatively stands up and makes her way over. She hesitates with all her might to pick it up, but she just can't resist the temptation. Anyhow, Feferi was always a little nosey anyway…

She taps on the phone screen until the voice command comes up again. "Sleep mode deactivated. What would you like to do?" Nepeta stares for moment, wondering what exactly she could say to access anything. What if it only detects specific commands?

"Texts…?" She murmurs, unsure of how to work the app. Luckily, the programming picks up on fragments of commands as well, so the screen automatically flips to Sollux's list of most recently sent and received texts. It narrates, "You have two unread texts from Karkat Vantas. Access texts?"

"Negative." She shakes her head, not wanting to get caught for snooping through his phone.

"Would you like to hear your most recently sent texts?" The voice command asks.

She bites her lower lip before going on to say, "Affirmative." A text box appears and a cursor begins highlighting words as they are spoken aloud.

—hey kk, friendly reminder that we're still friends and y0u d0n't have t0 just cut me 0ff like that. they let me 0ut 0f the h0spital ages ag0, s0 seri0usly, w0uld it kill y0u t0 say s0mething?

—d0n't get me wr0ng, thanks f0r backing 0ff because i really did need the space t0 just clear my head f0r a while. but n0w i miss y0u, s0… text me back, 0kay?

Nepeta freezes up, remembering what Karkat said on their first hate date.

"_Hey! Tavros told me that Sollux didn't want to talk to me, so I didn't see any harm in visiting their room second."_

She shakes the thought from her head. No, she isn't Nepeta right now! She's Feferi! And Feferi isn't in a kismesissitude with Karkat! Feferi… doesn't hate… Karkat. She… doesn't hate Karkat. So, does that mean… _she_ doesn't hate Karkat? Well, how can she continue to? Now that she's seen _this_, she knows Karkat wasn't actually trying to cover up cheating… he was telling the truth.

Thinking about this makes her uncomfortable.

After putting the phone back on sleep mode, she quickly leaves the apartment.

* * *

Eridan snarls, trying to shake her off, "Stop it already and leave! I never said you could fuckin' come into my house!" Regardless, Nepeta continues clinging to Eridan's arm desperately.

"How could you be so mean to your own moirail…" She whimpers, cuddling him frantically.

"You aren't," he swings his arm, finally getting her off of him, "my moirail!" She stumbles backward, only to bound forward again, this time tackling him to the ground.

"Don't tell me you're trying to break up!" Nepeta cries, her tears falling on his face and her nails digging into his shoulders. "You know, Nepeta gave up so much just so that I could see everyone again! You can't just _do_ this to me!"

"This isn't funny, Nepeta!" He growls, blinking back the tears in his own eyes. "Stop pretending to be Fef!"

"Eridan, please, stop doing this to me! It's me, Feferi! Don't you recognize me?"

"This is a really fuckin' sick joke! Stop it already and _leave_!" He shoves her off of him, running away to another room. She chases after him, and he only barely escapes from her. Slamming his bedroom door on her, he locks it with shaky hands and sinks to the floor.

"Please, Eridan!" Nepeta bangs on the door, "What kind of moirail even _does_ this?"

"You're _not_ my moirail!" He hollers, covering up his ears, trying to dull down the sound of her knocking. "You're not Fef!"

"What do I have to do to convince you that I am?" She pleads, "Holy fuck, I'll be your _matesprit_ if you want! Because you sure seemed attached to me! So attached that you utterly _ruined_ the last good matespritship I had! Is that what you want this time around, Eridan? Is it?"

"Fef is dead! You aren't her! _Quit it already_!" He sobs, waiting for her to leave. But she doesn't stop knocking. She begins slowing down, but she refuses to stop.

"Eridan… please…" she implores weakly, "let me in…"

Tears roll down his face, and he has to take off his glasses so that he can dab at his eyes with his sleeve. God, this is all his fault, isn't it? If he hadn't brought that fucking laser pointer, maybe Feferi would still be alive. No one would have to miss her like he and Nepeta did now. He can't help but feel helpless and hopeless in this situation.

So, unable to stand feeling like a piece of shit, he opens the door and instantly drags Nepeta by the strap of her sundress out of his house onto the porch. She squeals and kicks the air, until Eridan roars for her to shut up.

"Oh, suck it up!" He mutters, taking out his phone with one hand while still holding onto her with the other. "If you won't leavve yourself, I'll make you!"

Defeatedly, Nepeta lowers her head, "Who are you texting?"

"Your fuckin' kismesis, that's who. Now shut your trap, I'm tryin' to concentrate here."

—kar i need you to come ovver to my place right noww

—its serious

—NO, ERIDAN, I'M NOT COMING OVER

—STUFF HASN'T BLOWN OVER YET, OKAY?

—JUST TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, IT WON'T FUCKING KILL YOU TO

—oh sure okay

—you knoww wwhat I wwant to talk about?

—WHAT?

—oh gee i dont knoww

—howw about the fact that your kismesis decided it wwould be a good idea to break into my house wwhile pretendin to be my DEAD MOIRAIL

—*WHAT?*

—THIS is wwhats happenin at my place right noww kar

—and if youre a REAL pal youll showw up for once and get her out of here

—…

—FINE, JUST… GIVE ME A MOMENT

—I'LL BE THERE IN TWENTY MINUTES

* * *

Karkat hauls Nepeta's ass away like no big deal, sending Eridan only a tacit fleeting glance before leaving just about as soon as he arrived. On the car ride back to her place, she falls asleep. And as soon as he realizes that she's asleep once he pulls up next to the curbside, Karkat smiles.

Now is his chance.

Ms. Leijon now lets him in without a second thought, fully aware of his kismesis status, and he piggy-backs Nepeta all the way to her room. Setting her on the bed, he then makes his way over to her closet, smirking triumphantly all the while. Just as he starts searching through her clothing piles for the fanciest pair of panties she owns, his fingers stumble upon something hard like plastic. It's cold to the touch and definitely not cloth, so when he pulls it out of the pile, he's not exactly surprised to see the glint of blue metal.

What he is surprised by, however, is the realization of which item he's holding: Nepeta's tail.

With a grin nastier than the Grinch's, he swipes it from the slump of tops and sweat pants and captchalogues it in his phone greedily. Yes, this would be even _better_ to take than her fucking underwear! It's _perfect_.

Once the deed is done, Karkat waltzes out of her room, barely able to contain his satisfaction. And he drives off like the smooth criminal he is, smiling to himself like an utter asshole.

Why didn't he think of it sooner? She'll be _begging_ him to give it back first thing after she wakes up.

* * *

Nepeta, now sober after several hours of rest, groggily awakes the next morning, lightheaded and sore. As a result of her tussle with Eridan, there's a bruise on her left arm. It isn't visible yet, but she can still feel it and that really sucks. As a remedy, she moves her tail to rub her arm, knowing that the cold metal would make her skin feel better.

But her tail isn't there.

She reaches under her dress and searches for the waistband, only to be reminded that she tucked her tail away in the closet. Getting up, she stumbles out of bed to retrieve it, only to discover that it isn't there. Panicked, she begins throwing clothes to the side, hoping that it just slipped through the pile.

Then it occurs to her that Karkat took her home yesterday.

"Oh god!" she yelps. Not wasting another second, Nepeta shoves her hand in her pocket and taps on her phone with shaky hands, at last coming upon Karkat's name in her contact list. Harried, she hastily presses the call button and holds the phone up to her ear. As she waits, her heart fills up with dread. What if Karkat doesn't give it back to her, even if she does return the USB? That thought alone is enough to make her eyes water. Even while she was stoned, it was already hard enough to get through _one day_ without her tail…

"Hello, Nepeta…" Karkat chuckles into the phone, a tinge of arrogance in his tone, "So, would you say I've about evened out the score now?"

She blurts out, "Yes! We're even now, okay? Just give me back my tail! Please!" She just about screams into the phone, starting to sob, "I _need_ it! I need it so badly!"

"…Whoa, Nepeta," Karkat softens his tone, suddenly feeling worried at how hard she's crying. "are you okay?"

"N-No, I'm not okay! Just get over here, _please_!" Her voice starts coming out strangled, "I need my tail back!"

"U-Uh, fuck, okay!" Karkat manages to get out, "I'll be there as soon as I can! Stay calm, alright?"

Nepeta sniffles,"I-I'll try." Without a goodbye, he hangs up, leaving Nepeta to wait anxiously. Attempting to placate herself, she searches shakily through the clothing pile until she finds her hat, which instantly ends up between her teeth.

At last Karkat comes with her tail, surprised to find his trembling kismesis gnawing on her hat.

Hesitantly, he asks, "You're… going to give me back my romcom first, right?"

"I'm not going to pull anything stupid on you, okay?" She snaps, biting down on her hat even harder, "Just give it back!"

She doesn't have to tell him twice. Karkat drops it from the app and forks it over to her without another thought.

"Here, take it." He watches as she fastens it around her waist, skirt obscuring the view of her underwear. The sigh of relief that slips past her lips once her tail is back on again causes Karkat to feel slightly remorseful. Was she having a panic attack or something before he came over here? If he'd known taking the tail would've had some sort of toll on her well-being, he would've opted for the panties instead. He mumbles, "Sorry."

"No, don't be." Nepeta waves it off, surprising him. "That was the deal I made, and, well, you got me. So…" With a single tap to the phone in her pocket, his USB falls to the floor. Using her tail, she nudges it towards him, "here you go."

He picks it up maybe a little too eagerly, and as soon as it's in his hands, he gets up and makes a move to leave. His steps, however, are slow. After seeing the state she was in, he feels a need to stay behind and look after her for the rest of the day. Now, knowing just how fragile she can be, Karkat finds it very hard to continue hating her.

How can he, now that he knows she hides just like him?

Clearing his throat, he begins, "Before I go…" he holds up the USB, "do you want to watch the movie with me on your laptop? I mean… I know it's your favorite one too, so…" Normally, an invitation like this would seem very fishy to Nepeta, but, looking into his eyes, she doesn't quite feel like he's still up to something…

"Sure, I guess."

* * *

_Smiling softly, Lily touches the mole above Jarrod's lip, the mole just like her own, "This one. See?"_

"That's so cute, my god." Nepeta sighs tiredly, her voice laced only with the softest hint of enjoyment.

Karkat leans back against the headboard, his head and back cushioned by Nepeta's pillows. Her bruised arm lies draped over his shoulder and her cheek rests nuzzled in the crook of his neck. It's awful, how tender she's acting towards him right now. It's like she's lost the will to irk him, like she no longer has any passion left to give him. Yet somehow, Karkat can't seem to summon as much as an ounce of hurt in his heart, despite the gentleness his kismesis seems to be showing him. And that tears him apart a bit, to think that he's starting to fall out of hatred with Nepeta.

Diverting his attention from the movie, he looks to her expression. She seems so sleepy yet so pleased. How can she just slump against him like that, without even the merest tidbit of aversion?

Could it be she's falling out of hatred with him too?

"Hey, Nepeta?" his voice comes out in a murmur, against his wishes for otherwise.

Not bothering to look away from the screen, she responds, "Yeah?"

"You still… hate me, right?" This causes her to shift. Nepeta's dark brown eyes meet green, expressionless on the surface. But the deeper Karkat gazes into them, the more confused they appear beneath the surface.

"Honestly?" She whispers. He nods. Her mind wanders back to Sollux's text. Breaking eye contact, she exhales, "…I'm not so sure anymore." They return their attention to the screen, not bothering to say another word for the rest of the film.

"_I'm a loser, Lily." Jarrod sighs, sinking back into his sleeping bag, watching the grass to avoid her gaze. She blinks at him, an indiscernible smile still upon her lips. As she shifts in her sleeping bag to lie on her back, Jarrod glances to her for a moment, eyes filled with uncertainty. _

_ Casting her gaze to the sky, she replies, "Doesn't matter."_

* * *

After much thought, Karkat decides to say something a few days later.

CG HEY UM

CGI DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS BUT

CG FUCK, THINGS JUST… DON'T SEEM TO BE THE WAY THEY USED TO BE BETWEEN US ANYMORE

CG SO I JUST...

AC :3 {?

CG NOPE, FORGET IT

CG MAYBE I SHOULD SAY THIS IN PERSON INSTEAD

AC :3 {*ac sighs, wishing you'd just spit it out already because, in this instance, the cat does not currently have your tongue*

AC :3 {and besides, it doesn't take a tongue to type what you need to type

CG …YOU SURE YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS?

AC :3 {go right ahead

AC :3 {i'm all ears

CG …

CG I WANNA BREAK UP WITH YOU

AC :3 {oh

AC :3 {same here :P

CG FUCK SORRY I WARNED YOU

CG PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY YOU'RE A REALLY DESPICABLE PERSON BUT

CG WAIT FUCK, YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?

AC :3 {well… yeah.

AC :3 {i mean

AC :3 {how can I hate someone who loves the same stupid romcom as me?

CG WELL

CG THAT'S A RELIEF

AC :3 {so… no hard f33lings?

CG YEAH

CG WE'RE GOOD

AC :3 {okay! :D

AC :3 {well, see you at school tomorrow!

CG SEE YOU

CG OH WAIT, BEFORE I FORGET, HERE'S THE FILE FOR EPISODE 5

CG [Quadrama!ep5-docx6ix]

AC :3 {oh thanks!

AC :3 {well… good night

CG GOOD NIGHT


	13. EPISODE 5: Verify or Attempt

**A/N:**

**Alright, to anyone I may or may not kept waiting, I would've uploaded this script earlier today like I said I would, BUT my mother took my computer this morning before I woke up so that she could use facebook for three or four hours. And so I waited because our vacation pictures simply couldn't _wait_ to be uploaded either. So my apologies. **

**Anyhow, it's here at last, so I do hope you all enjoy!**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Episode 5: Verify or Attempt

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Lapine's hive. It is daytime, so the trolls are taking shelter inside, except for Blende who got so stoned that he fell asleep in the garden. The trolls presently sitting in a circle for the session of a truth-or-dare-like game called Verify or Attempt are Satlie, Dansus, Gruide, Durpie, and Rumnut. Everyone present was invited for this party-esque gathering except Satlie, who followed Dansus because she had nothing better to do. Satlie seems eager to play, but that's only because she wants an excuse to harass Lapine.)

Satlie Come on! Let's start this thing already!

Lapine Alright, alright, _geez_! If you're so eager, why don't _you_ go first!

Satlie (smiling evilly) If you insist! Verify or attempt, Lapine?

Lapine (eyes wide) Fuck no! That's not what I meant!

Satlie Too bad. Now are you going to wimp out or get this show on the road, shortstack?

Lapine (hesitating to flip the bird to her because Satlie's kismesis, Gruide, is right there) Attempt! (Her voice is full of disdain.)

Satlie You must attempt to… take off your top and tie it around your horns in place of your hat!

Lapine That is the most _ridiculous_ attempt I've ever—

Satlie Aw, what's wrong, _Little_ bunny foo-foo? Wimping out already?

Lapine (mumbling under her breath) I am _not_ little! (Lapine throws down her hat and strips off her top speedily, letting the sleeves hang caught on her horns. Durpie and Rumnut are snickering at her.) There! Now it's my turn! Satlie, Verify or—

Gruide (stopping her) "Hold on, Lapine! You can't v-or-a the troll who v-or-a'd you!"

Lapine …right. Fuck. Okay then, I guess, uh… Durpie!

Durpie (sounding excited) Yeah?

Lapine Verify or Attempt?

Durpie Attempt, attempt! Definitely attempt!

Lapine Hm… okay, you must… attempt to… oh, attempt to go wake up Blende's lusus!

Durpie Aw, yeah! Hardcore! (Jumping up and down, she whips out an umbrella.) Time to fuck shit up! (She runs out the front door into the lawn ring. They all clamber to the window to watch.)

Gruide (worried for Durpie's safety) "Are you sure this was a good idea? Isn't his lusus poisonous?"

Lapine Pfft! She'll be fine! If something happens, REDDIE will kick in and get her ass out of there!

Satlie …where'd she go? (As she says this, the door opens up and Durpie reenters the hive.)

Durpie Little guy's awake! Look at him! (Blende's lusus is hanging off the end of an umbrella handle with his mouth, flailing his tiny limbs to and fro. His eyes are moving in all directions to everyone in the room.)

Lapine (with an "oh shit!" look on her face) Put him down, put him down! (Durpie then sets the umbrella down gently, letting Blende's lusus scamper across the floor. This lusus has a name, and it's Pygmentalist, but Blende often gets too stoned to remember his own custodian's fucking name.)

Pygmentalist (grumbling quietly) Stupid young whippersnappers with their stunts can't a lusus get some sleep my gog! (He climbs up on the couch and hides between two pillows) Don't you wrigglers bother me again or I'll give someone a good chomp on the ass, I will! (He tucks himself away and settles back down to sleep.)

Lapine Okay… no more lusus waking, because I know Madame Coneja gets pretty damn pissed too when she's woken up.

Durpie My turn! (She turns to Dansus.) Verify or Attempt?

Dansus Attempt.

Durpie Okay! Uh… you must attempt to smoke Blende's troll weed while, uh… sitting next to him outside… until the sun goes down! There!

Dansus (pompously) Ha! Easy. I can do that! (They take Durpie's umbrella.) Watch and learn, wrigglers. I'll puff my graceful smoke on that awkward jade blood until he's as poised as I am. (They open the door.) Don't wait up. (Instantly, Lapine stands up.)

Lapine Hey, wait! I'll go with you! (She starts stuttering.) I-I mean, someone's gotta make sure you're doing the attempt! And also, you'll need help rolling the joints, so, yeah!

Dansus (never wanting to turn down an opportunity at alone time with her) Ah, alright then~ Much thanks for your company. It is _always_ appreciated. (Satlie glowers once she hears this.)

Satlie (standing up) Maybe _I'm_ better suited to watch them. I _am _their moirail after all.

Dansus (faltering) Oh, my darling moirail, you need not go to the trouble…

Satlie (muttering with grit teeth) 'Rails before pails, right? Wasn't that what you told me when we entered this quadrant together?

Dansus (nervously gulping) B-But, Satlie…

Lapine (scooting between them and speaking in a hushed tone) Now, now, don't you fret. Your precious palemate is in good hands. I'd never dream of hurting them~ (Dansus blushes at this comment.)

Satlie (replying loudly) Well maybe with a bucket-splattered whip, you would! (Gruide's and Dansus's eyes go wide. Dansus is now covering their face up in embarrassment.)

Lapine (gasping, about to make a grab for Satlie's shirt) How _dare_ you!

Durpie (whining) Guys! Come _on_! Make them do my attempt already!

Lapine (restraining herself for Gruide's, Durpie's, and Dansus's sake) Fine then! This isn't worth my trouble anyhow!

Dansus (stuttering) I-I, um, d-do you still wish to accompany me? I would appreciate the help rolling joints.

Lapine (smiling tenderly at them) But of course, Dansus~ Now, come along, we must commence with this attempt already~ (She opens the umbrella.)

Dansus Indeed~! (The two of them begin to walk out the door.)

Satlie Wait, Dansus! Isn't it your turn to v-or-a someone?

Dansus Ah, yes! Very quickly, um… Gruide! Verify or Attempt?

Gruide "Um… verify."

Dansus Please verify… if the brown liquid in your collar is blood? (They shrug.)

Gruide "Actually, it is! That's where the collar derives its telepathic powers from. I get this blood from a friend overseas, but I won't divulge more than asked of me." (She giggles.)

Satlie (swooning) Oh, my~ How appalling! (Dansus nods and turns back towards the door with Lapine.)

Dansus Alright then, _now_ we're off! (Dansus and Lapine then exit, ending the scene.)

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens at Pernel's hive, where he is busy at work on a pallet knife painting of the ocean. In the background, Tchaikovsky music is playing softly from Dansus's old boombox. Beeping noises keep sounding off from his husktop because Chishu keeps trolling him online, asking to hang out. Neither of them knows about the party-esque gathering. Chishu and Pernel weren't invited to the party-esque gathering because Lapine doesn't either of them very well, though she has met them before on at least one past occasion.)

Pernel (growling as the beeping intensifies) Urgh! Come _on_! Take a hint! (The beeping intensifies even more) Fuck! (Pernel stomps over to his husktop and opens up chat.)

HH You wanna hang out today? (This line repeats 413 times.)

PP (replying with one hand) FINE i WILL jegus D:{

HH ;D

PP why ARE you WINKING at ME?

HH I'm not! That's just how I type my smileys. Because I only have one eye now, remember?

PP OH right, SORRY. forgot.

PP anyway, I'M on MY way NOW okay?

HH No wait! D;

HH I'm already on my way over! Timber!

PP WHAT?

(With this, a tree comes crashing through the roof of Pernel's hive.)

Chishu Hi, Pernel! (He's sitting on a branch of a tree he felled, the one that just crashed through his roof. Debris from the roof has ruined his painting.)

Pernel (livid) You FUCKING _MORON_! (stabbing his pallet knife into the tree with the word "moron".) I'M GOING TO GUT YOU AND USE YOUR BLOOD TO PAINT THE GOGDAMNED TREE YOU JUST FELLED THROUGH MY _FUCKING CEILING_!

Chishu Oh, _shit_! (The tree branch he's sitting on begins to crack.) Pernel, wait, stop! (The branch cracks further as Pernel stabs into the tree again, using it to help him climb.) I think this thing's gonna—! (Finally, the fucking branch cracks and Chishu clings to the trunk. The tree begins to roll sideways, hits the corner of the room, flinging both of them out the window. They roll downhill all the way to Lapine's front lawnring. They scare Lapine and Dansus at they roll by, and they bump into Blende, waking him up. Blende spots Dansus and Lapine smoking all his joints and, enraged, he starts coming for them.)

Lapine (watching as her moirail closes in) Blende? (Meanwhile, Chishu and Pernel continue rolling until they crash through Lapine's window. They are covered in scratches and everyone sort of freezes up and stares at them both, particularly Pernel.)

Pernel (grumbling and rubbing his head) Chishu! (He makes a grab for the olive blood.) You little—! (He pauses and takes a good look around the room. Rumnut is wearing his matesprit's bra outside his shirt. Durpie has marker smeared all over her face. Gruide is in the middle of drawing all over her kismesis's face in grub sauce. Satlie meanwhile has been braiding the fringes on the carpet. He stares back at them all, bewildered.) What the _fuck_ is going on here? (No one answers him and they all continue staring.) What are you all _looking_ at?

Chishu (weakly) Dude… your blood is purple?

Pernel (blanching when he realizes he is bleeding) _What_? Oh gog, _no_. No, no, no, no, no! _Fuck_! (He covers up his scratches, close to tears.) This is a fucked-up dream! This isn't… actually… (His voice cracks.) h-happening…

Chishu (comfortingly) Pernel, wait, calm dow—(Pernel shoves him.)

Pernel NO! This is your fault! (He starts to cry, covering up his face with his hands.) I-I'm going to get culled! Shit, shit, _shit_…

Satlie (tentatively) How would you get culled? You're higher on the hemospectrum than anyone in this room!

Pernel (rising in volume) You don't GET IT! Satlie, you know why I don't paint up my face like every other fucking purple blood? BECAUSE I DON'T PRACTICE THEIR RELIGION. BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT BULL CROCK. But apparently it's LAW for people like me to paint up my face! So what else can I do? (Satlie is at a loss for words.) That's right, NOTHING! I CAN ONLY _HIDE_! (His voice shaking, he speaks threateningly to everyone in the room through grit teeth, holding up his palette knife.) Anyone who wants to leave this hive in one piece had better not tell a soul outside this room what my blood color is! (Lapine peeks through the door.)

Lapine Uh, hey, guys? Does anyone have any spare bandages for Dansus? My moirail just straight up attacked them, which is weird, because Blende doesn't attack people, but yeah, anyway, they're hurt pretty badly and they ran out of clean bandages. (Glancing at Chishu and Pernel.) Sheesh, you guys could use some too.

Chishu (waving it off) I'm like perfectly fine. Pernel here, however, is having a breakdown and needs more than a few bandages to patch him up.

Pernel (howling with agony) I may as well be dead! Satlie, you may as well tie your fucking braids around my neck so that my lousy neighbors don't get the pleasure of culling me off a rumor.

Lapine Whoa, whoa! Who said anything about getting culled? No one's getting culled. We're all fine. Stop freaking out, Pernel. Your blood color and Dansus's blood color are not leaving this hive, I swear to gog.

Durpie (innocently and curiously) What's Dansus's blood color?

Lapine (defensively) None of your business! (Seeing Durpie cringe, she sighs and softens her tone.) Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. Look, the moon's coming up already, so I think it's time to call it a day and end the game. (She turns toward the door.) Now if you'll excuse me, someone needs to walk Dansus back home while the tide is still low.

Satlie (standing up) And that would be me, correct?

Lapine (suddenly nervous) Er, sorry to say this, but they said you were the last person they wanted to see!

Satlie (infuriated) Liar! They're my moirail! They trust me! They wouldn't keep secrets from me!

Lapine (defensively) Then you'd already know their blood color if that were the case, right? No need for them to hide it from you!

Satlie (taken aback, speaking in a softer tone but still speaking harshly) I gave them the space they needed because that's what good moirails do! So now that they're wounded and my job is to look out for them, I need to see that they're okay!

Dansus (calling from outside) Satlie, wait! Please don't come out here! I'm fine! I just need some help getting home, and Lapine can cover that, right?

Lapine (with a slight air of triumph) Yeah, I can!

Satlie (shocked) A-Are you sure you don't need me to—

Dansus It's fine! See, she's got me covered! Don't worry and just get yourself home safely, okay?

Satlie (heartbroken) Dansus…

Lapine Well, you heard them, Cintor. Time to go, everyone. (Everybody starts to leave, but Satlie is sort of frozen in insecurity. She calls out at the last minute.) I fucking love you, Dansus! Take care!

Dansus (faintly in the distance) Okay, bye! (Satlie is crestfallen because they didn't say "I love you" back.)

Chishu (sidling up to her) Aw, hon. It's alright. They'll be okay…

Satlie I know they will. (Her voice starts breaking.) But what about me? (The scene ends with Chishu walking his crying matesprit home.)

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens outside Dansus's hive, which is surrounded by a mangrove tree. The water is up to Lapine's thighs now, but she barely cares that her socks are wet. All she cares about it keeping Dansus's bandages dry. They've bled through the bandages, revealing their blood color to be black. Together, the two approach the window.)

Dansus Thank you so much, Lapine. You have no clue how much this means to me.

Lapine (sincerely) Aw, it's no problem, Dansus~

Dansus And… you're not going to tell anyone, right?

Lapine Of course not! (She lowers her voice to a more tentative tone.) Still, are you gonna tell anyone else, like eventually or something?

Dansus (sounding a little regretful) Well, I'll have to tell Satlie eventually… but… I'm pretty scared people are going to treat me strangely when they all find out.

Lapine Well, don't worry, I'm not like the younger, more stuck-up bluebloods! I don't see you any differently~ (She speaks sweetly.) You could have rainbow blood and you'd still be the same incredible troll I know and love~

Dansus (giggling) "Incredible" might be an overstatement.

Lapine (insisting) No, it's not! (She speaks more shyly now.) When you dance, I think you outshine every other swan on the estuary water. It's like your movements are so graceful, not in a dainty way, but like… in a really powerful way, and I kind of feel passionate whenever you dance, because I see passion behind it. Not to mention, you're pretty damn sweet and you've never teased me for being short like everyone else does. So… at least for me, "incredible" sounds about right.

Dansus (touched by the sentiment) That's quite nice of you to say. Thank you again~

Lapine Don't mention it~

Dansus Well, I'd invite you in for tea, but… I believe you need to tend to your moirail. So, on that note, I suppose… good morning.

Lapine Good morning to you too~ (With that, Lapine leaves and Dansus goes inside.)

Swanpa (not bothering to look away from the news on the television screen) Welcome back, Dansus. I heard your husktop beeping, so you might want to check your Trollian.

Dansus Oh, thanks, Swanpa. (They go to their respite block and open up their husktop. Once they open Trollian, they switch the online setting off. Satlie has left them a couple of messages.)

SS I HiSSstill fucking love you, no matter what, palebro/bra! Nothing will change that. Just HiSSso you know.

SS Also, I think we need to talk, Dansus. Can you come by my hive tomorrow? If that's too much to ask, I'll just come by yours around midnight, okay?

II (resignedly, they send a looping music file with an excerpt from the song "I'll be there" by troll Michael Jackson.) _I'll be there, I'll be there_ (They then log off.)

—END OF EPISODE 5—


	14. I'll Be Here for You

**A/N:**

**I have returned, my friends! At last, I am caught up again (though, fair warning: I am currently experiencing writer's block, so don't be surprised if I take another unexpected hiatus) and now I can proudly present to you all the latest episode! I do hope you enjoy!  
**

**Chapter warnings: mentions of dysphoria, attempted drowning, and Eridan getting REALLY touchy feely/being an inconsiderate asshole. _This chapter is VERY likely to be more triggery than chapter ten_, so be warned before proceeding.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

CG HEY ERIDAN

CG I GUESS YOU CAN CONSIDER SHIT TO BE BLOWN OVER

CG BECAUSE AS OF LAST WEDNESDAY

CG NEPETA AND I BROKE UP

CA holy FUCK no wway

CG HOLY *FUCK* YES WAY

CG I'M A MAN OF MY WORD, SO WE'LL START HANGING OUT AGAIN.

CG BUT I'LL COME OVER WHEN I GET THE CHANCE, OKAY?

CG I'M UP TO MY FUCKING ARMPITS IN STUDY GUIDES RIGHT NOW

CA yeh same here

CA by the wway good luck on your history final

CA youll need it

CG FUCK YOU TOO, BUDDY. FUCK YOU TOO.

CA you asshole {3

Eridan logs off, smiling to himself.

* * *

At last, after intense studies for finals, school had come to an end for the year and so concludes junior year. Karkat could not be better off, now that he's finally found a free moment to hang out with Eridan again. Nepeta, however, could not be worse off.

Now that summer has begun, Nepeta needs to switch her meds.

"_You're getting older," the doctor explains over the phone, "so the effect of your medication is weakening. Not to mention, you've had quite a few emotional outbursts recently, so all the more reason to put you on something stronger. Expect your new medication to come in the mail intermittently. I want to make sure this is a safe transition from the old ones into the new."_

The first to come in the mail were the antidepressants.

Nepeta tries pretending they're the same as her old ones and proceeds onward with her regular morning routine. The difference, unfortunately, is quite obvious when she has difficulty swallowing them. They're bigger than her old ones. And they're thicker too.

It sucks.

She chugs down a swig of milk, suppressing a bit of gagging as she forces the pill down her throat. It isn't a pleasant experience, but she figures, she'll get used to it. She's tougher than everyone else thinks she is, and this is just another new challenge that she can overcome.

She can handle it.

* * *

After Nepeta pulled that Feferi shit on him, Eridan remembered exactly why he hated her so much back then.

Nepeta was a thieving little bitch, swiping Feferi away from him whenever she had the chance. At the time, Feferi was his only romantic partner. She was all he had. Besides Karkat, she was the only one he could really real-talk with. And, he'll admit, he was a little bit red for his palemate at the time too. It made him jealous to think of Nepeta stealing away his moirail five days a week during lunch, to think of her greedily indulging in the quality time that he so desperately missed having with Feferi. He was so convinced that Nepeta was doing it on purpose, like she was actually hate-flirting with him. And now, he is fully convinced that Nepeta was doing it again by dressing up like Feferi.

Without meaning to, Nepeta has rekindled his caliginous feelings for her… and he isn't leaving her alone until he gets either revenge or kismesissitude.

CA hey nep im throwwin a yacht party for indie day

CA i made reservvations but a cousin i invvited bailed on me

CA so I wwas wwonderin if youd fill in for him

AC :3 {*ac tentatively places a paw to her little kitty chin, pawndering whether or not she will fur33 that day or if she can even trust any invitation from ampurra…*

CA please nep i really need this favvor from you

CA and i figure you owwe me at least this much considerin all the shit drama you stirred up at cupnuts

CA you nearly cost me my job

CA not to mention that your fuckin fef-larpin disaster wwasnt exactly pleasant to deal wwith either

AC :3 {*ac laughs in nervous embarrassment, apologizing purrfusely and stating that fur the record, ac wouldn't have done that had a certain juggalo decided to not bake her a cake*

CA wwhatevver I literally don't givve half a shit about your excuses

CA i cried a shit ton a tears that night just rememberin her i hope youre fuckin happy

AC :3 {…

AC :3 {*ac is not happy about that*

AC :3 {*and now… she would like to know the time and location of the party*

CA the boat is on ahabs dock, north shore beach

CA the name of the vvessel is the ss caligulas theres REELY no wway you can miss it

CA it leavves at sevven pm, so get there before then

AC :3 {*ac says, "okay… I got it…"*

CA any questions?

AC :3 {um… *ac is wondering how many people are going to be at the pawrty*

CA just our friends from school and my uncle not a big crowwd

AC :3 {*ac mumbles, "well, expect to s33 me there…"*

CA wwell alright! see you on indie day nep

AC :3 {*ac waves goodbye and then logs off*

"Perfect…" Eridan cackles to himself, "time to hate-flirt the shit outta her."

* * *

Ever since she started taking those shitty new antidepressants, she hasn't been feeling too hot. At first, she stopped having dreams for many nights, but that went away after a while. Now she gets tired really easily and just feels _wrong_ every time she takes the pills, like there's dark matter inside her and all she can do is cut up new magazines for her shipping wall, hoping in vain that it will make her feel better and just get this stupid bad, _bad_ feeling out of her.

Lately, thoughts of the future have been plaguing her as well, only adding onto her crappy mood.

Her senior year is approaching fast and she doesn't know what to do. Every adult she knows keeps asking her about where she's going after high school, but she hasn't made her mind up yet. All her teachers goad students into making up their minds about what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and it makes Nepeta's head spin to think about it. She's only sixteen, dammit. At least half of her friends don't know where they're going after high school yet either. There are so many colleges with so many different pre-requisites, and all these stupid expensive tests to take in order to get into them. Even with her mom's savings, she's not sure she can afford all of this shit, and not just money-wise. For instance, if she gets a bad score by answering the questions too slowly to prove herself intelligent enough for college, that's ninety boonbucks down the drain, and those assholes aren't going to give her a refund. But she knows she's smart, and intelligence doesn't equate to speed. It shouldn't _be_ this way. Education shouldn't be dangled in front of someone like a carrot at the end of a fucking stick. The whole system is needlessly complicated and that's why it pains her to think so much about it.

Without school to worry about, dealing with day-to-day life is already complicated enough for her. Remembering to wash her hat after she bites it, maintaining her tail weekly the way Equius taught her, and even just socializing properly when there are more than two people in the room with her, are all things she deals with on a daily basis. Listening to her teachers feels like multitasking sometimes because she also has to ignore the obscenely cold temperature of the room and look at the glaring overhead projector while she's at it. It seems like something so simple for other people, but neurotypicals just _don't_ understand. What sounds like a regular pop can hurt like an explosion in Nepeta's ears. What looks like regular lighting can strain her eyes. And what's regularly considered crowded can feel unbearably claustrophobic to her. But she goes through every day suppressing many of her natural reactions, leading others to believe her brain is wired the exact same way the "normal" person's brain is. At the worst, people might think she's a bit weird.

But only few know that she's autistic.

"I hate parties…" she murmurs, hoping with every cell in her heart that she can find a nice quiet corner to herself on the yacht when Indie day arrives.

* * *

The day of the party comes all too quickly. When night falls, Nepeta tries texting her moirail for a ride, but he replies that he's too busy to pick her up. In fact, since the summer began, he's just been too busy for her period. After a little bit of useless insistence, she just gives up and snags a ride from her sister, wondering what the hell Equius is doing with his time anyway.

Once her sister drops her off a couple of meters away from the dock, she can already tell where the SS Caligulas is. Eridan was right. There really is no way to miss it. For shit's sake, the yacht is practically a giant pirate ship! She exhales a sigh of relief, thinking it'd be very easy to find a breathing space on such a big boat.

As she tries to board the ship, she is stopped by an automated bouncer for her name. She gives it readily.

"It's Nepeta Leijon."

"You have been identified as invited." The robot articulates, handing her a life jacket, "Access granted."

However, just as she begins up the ramp onto the ship, Eridan's uncle spots her and tells her not to take a step further.

"Hold your horses, missy. Vwhat's that blue vwigglin' thing behind you?"

"It's my tail…" she replies softly, wrapping it around one of her legs. The man leans down to examine it, surprised to find that such a fluidly-moving object could be mechanical.

He sighs, "Vwell, you can't come onboard the yacht 'til you've taken that thing off, unless it don't come off like that one boy's legs."

"What!" She wraps it around her leg tighter, drawing backwards. "But why?"

"It's gonna short out if the vwaves getta good lick of it! Also, they been sayin' there's gonna be a chance a rain." He holds out his palm, "Novw, vwon't you hand it over, sweetie?" Nepeta stares at him blankly, hoping he's kidding around with her. But when she doesn't hand it over, his irritation starts to become a little more evident. "Vwe don't have all night, young lassie! Give it to me!" Shaken up, Nepeta immediately uncoils it from around her leg and slips the waistband off.

"I'll get it back after the party, right?" she asks nervously, her voice coming out a little louder than she would've liked.

"Yes, yes, it's in good hands." He tucks it into a sylladex app installed on the bouncer. "Now go. Your friends are up at the top."

Halfway up the stairs, she watches from above as he leaves the bouncer behind and gets on. Before she knows it, the boat is moving forward. A roar of laughter and cheers can be heard from the top deck. She shrinks back a little, nervous that she'll freeze up just from seeing everyone.

So, afraid to make a fool of herself, she stays on the lounge floor right under the top deck, biting her hat to keep calm. Thank God nobody's in the lounge, because now she can just dim the lights down to a level more comfortable for her eyes. The music is playing above her now, but all the noise is muffled. It's perfect…

But she can't just stay in here for the rest of the night.

* * *

"Uncle, it's not sevven yet! Why are you leavvin' the dock already!" Eridan cries, bursting into the ship's control room. "Nep hasn't arrivved yet!"

He growls, "Don't be stupid, kid. I vwouldn't leave vwithout makin' sure all your friends are here."

"Well, if she's on already, how come I didn't see her?"

"I don't knovw vwhere the brat is. I savw her head up the stairs before vwe left, so I knovw she's on here somevwhere."

"Huh…" Eridan watches as the lights in the lounge above get significantly dimmer, "you don't say…"

"Agh, don't get smart with me, lad. If you vwanna see your friend, go find her." His uncle waves him to the side. Eridan excuses himself without another word, rushing up the stairs to the lounge.

Throwing the door open, he shouts, "Aha!" Nepeta freezes up, teeth clamped down on the fabric in her mouth. He sneers at her sarcastically, "Well, look who decided to join the party." Nepeta makes no response, only curling up and biting her hat. "What's the matter, kitty? Caught your own tongue?" He leans down to whisper menacingly, cornering her between his arms, "Because I think you could do a much better job of catchin' mine, eh?" Instantly, his body is against hers. Her eyes widen as he tries to pry the hat out of her hands, and _that_ is something she can't let happen.

"_No_!" She yowls, kicking him repeatedly until he flies backwards. He hits the couch opposite her, a bleeding gash on his lip beginning to trickle. At the sight of blood, she lets out a gasp and rushes to his side. "Oh shit! Ampurra, are you okay?" He only lets out a dark chuckle, licking the blood from his lip.

"Coddamn." Eridan laughs louder, "Comin' on a little strong, don't you think?"

"H-Huh? Aah!" Her back thuds against the wooden floor as he leaps up and pins her down by the wrists and waist. He settles his body weight on her, making sure there's nowhere for her to go.

"Didn't think you hated me _this_ much, Nep. Last I checked, Kar nevver said anythin' about the kitty havving claws!"

"What the fuck are you talking about!" Nepeta squirms, struggling to wrest her hands away from him.

"No need to play coy, sweetspade. It's only the two of us in here. Just say you hate me," he leans back down to whisper in his ear, "and givve me a fuckin' kiss."

Panicking, she thrashes and screams, but to no avail. She's so tired because of the new meds. She'd have enough strength to fend him off and break his fucking arms like last time if only she'd slept better.

Thankfully, as fate would have it, Karkat had heard the noise and arrived in time to see what's going on. He isn't pleased to find Eridan on top of his ex, to say the least.

"What the _fuck_, Eridan!" He howls, literally kicking his friend in the stomach. Eridan rolls off of Nepeta, clutching his abdomen in pain. Taking her opening, she attacks, landing an even harder punch across his face. Quickly, she runs up behind Karkat and hides, grasping onto the back of his light-gray hoodie with trembling hands. Eridan's lip starts bleeding again.

"I-I just wanted a kiss is all…" he responds weakly.

"Well, sure didn't fucking look like _that_ was all you were after!" Karkat retorts, his face red. "Holy shit, Eridan! How could you?"

"Come on, Kar! Cut me a break!" he hisses, rubbing his cheek, "I thought you two broke up already!"

"Fucking _shit_, I'm not mad at you because she's my ex!" Karkat practically explodes, "You were trying to _force_ yourself on her! She's a person with feelings, you dickwad!" He points with a thumb to Nepeta, "Now, you fucking owe her an apology, got that?"

"_I_ owe her an apology!" The bleeding boy howls, incredulous. "She owes _me_ one first for all the shit she's put me through!" As he shouts this, Terezi and Sollux knock on the window. Nepeta scurries away from Karkat to let them in.

"What's going on in here?" Terezi asks, sounding irritated. "Everyone up top can hear you guys!" Eridan sighs, getting up and dusting himself off.

"It's nothin', Ter."

Karkat squawks, "_Nothing_? This wasn't _nothing_, Eridan. Say sorry to Nepeta."

"You know, Kar," Eridan starts up indignantly, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were acting like her fuckin' moirail." Karkat is taken aback by the statement, looking to Nepeta. She is too preoccupied retrieving her hat. Eridan narrows his eyes at the green-eyed boy, "You better watch yourself…"

"So… fishdick here was trying to come onto her _again_?" Sollux asks flatly.

"Shut it, Sol! It's none of your business!"

"I knew it." The eye-patched boy turns tail and starts making his way to the door, "Okay, I'm gone. I'll talk to you all up top."

A few moments after Sollux has left, Eridan decides to follow suit, "Whatevver! I'm goin' back up too! I got a party to host anyway." Just before he passes through the door, he adjusts the dimmer switch, "And if anyone's gonna hang out in here, they better keep the lights up at full brightness! Hazardous to be in a dark place on a movvin' vvessel. Also, all of you, keep your fuckin' life jackets on! That's just common sense!" He slams the door behind him, his cape getting caught in it. He opens the door, lets out his cape and slams it again, now stomping up the stairs with vexed mumbles on his lips.

Karkat looks again at Nepeta who has now gone absolutely silent. Her hat is back on her head, but she's just itching to bite it. Her eyes sting, but she's holding strong. So what if she doesn't have her tail? So what if she can't bite her hat? She's played the neurotypical passing game before without them. And she can do it tonight, no matter how overwhelming it gets.

She can handle it.

"Everything alright, Nep?" Karkat asks softly. "Did he hurt you?"

"No…" she begins, avoiding his eyes, "actually, I think I hurt him. His lip is bleeding. Is he okay?"

"He's fine, don't worry. Anyway, he deserved it for being an asshole."

She forces a laugh, "If you say so…" Then, there's silence. Green eyes lock with brown for a long moment, and she's speechless. There's a funny little fuzzy feeling in her chest, but she's not ready to admit that she knows what it is. It wouldn't be right to attach a name to it just yet, not when it could easily just be something she's deluding herself to feel.

Terezi, uncomfortable with the silence, speaks from across the room to inquire, "Hey, where'd you guys go?"

"We're still here, Terezi." Karkat says, eyes still locked on Nepeta's. Another gap of silence passes over the lounge.

Slumping against her cane, Terezi at last says, "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing!" Karkat and Nepeta pipe up simultaneously, drawing a look from one another. Terezi raises an eyebrow, but dismisses it. Deciding that now would be a better time than never, she gets the one thing that she's been meaning to say for a while off her chest.

"Okay... anyway, Karkat, Nepeta. I was wondering… do you guys still need me to be your auspistice?" Terezi seems a little abashed to ask this, earning her a look of pity from Karkat. "I mean, I haven't been exactly useful to you guys during your kismesissitude, so…"

"Terezi..." Nepeta's voice comes out soft, "you don't have to if you don't want to, but… it'd be nice if you stayed."

"Yeah…" Karkat agrees, not quite ready to let Terezi break up with him again, not while she's still in his quadrants. If she leaves, what chance for vacillation would he have then?

With a tired smile, Terezi sighs, "Alright then. I'll stay. Now come on, you two, let's go up top already." Nepeta follows them wordlessly, her heart pounding violently in her chest. She has to remind herself to breathe.

She can handle it.

* * *

It's… not exactly easy getting through the party.

Everything is there: flashing lights, loud music, and crowded space. The top deck is only half the size of the lounge, so it's a little crowded up top. It gives Vriska an excuse to grind on Tavros and make him uncomfortable, as far as Nepeta can tell, but she's not paying that close attention. She's too busy trying to distract herself from all the stimuli, to focus on ignoring all of it if she can.

Many people try to talk to her. She holds up pretty well for the most part, doing more listening than talking. The added challenges make it a little harder for her to come up with anything to say anyhow. Right now, Nepeta is more aware of her movements than anyone else on the ship. She pays attention to her hands and teeth in particular, making sure she doesn't take off her hat and bite it. Then Eridan passes by every now and then, whispering insults and put-downs, his language becoming more aggressive and degrading with each word he speaks to her. It doesn't help her focus, and it makes her feel even shittier, but she holds strong. She's going to enjoy this party, whether he likes it or not.

She hangs close to the table by the edge of the railing, stuffing her face with desserts Eridan brought back from Cupnuts. All the different flavors provide moments of temporary relief, but it doesn't really sate her. Eventually, she's had one doughnut too many, and she ends up running downstairs for the stern and vomiting off the side of the boat. Reluctantly, she returns back up to the top again.

Nepeta tries another tactic. She dances with Sollux again, this time in a more casual way. Every time the light glares in her eyes, she has to blink back her tears. She moves her body to the rhythm as best as she can, even though the music is booming in her ears. But when her friends start crowding her, she gets a little anxious. Before she can break down, she excuses herself to the bathroom in the lounge. She throws up again in there.

Thinking it'd be best to take a little break, she slumps against the couch again. Unable to control herself at this point, she swipes her hat off her head and chomps down on it. Tears trickle down her face as a small stream of relief begins to course through her. The fabric's texture eases her, but it troubles her to think that she can't do this for too long. She can't let anyone catch her, and she needs to go back up soon before people start getting worried about her.

The bad feeling overcomes her again. It hollows her out, sucking away any joy her hat-biting habit might've brought her. Suddenly, she feels very empty and still, like she's detached from her own body. She doesn't feel right. She feels unwell, but not in a physical sense. There's an imbalance of chemicals in her that she can't rectify now, but all she can do is wait for that feeling to pass.

Karkat comes back down to the lounge, and she puts her hat back on sadly.

"Hey, Nepeta. What you doin' down here again?"

"Taking a breather…" she admits to him, "I don't really like crowds, to be honest."

"Oh. Me neither." Karkat sits down next to her, "Is it alright if I just sit here with you? No talking or anything?"

"That would be purrfectly fine." She replies, trying to hide the hollowness in her voice.

"Thanks."

They sit quietly together for a few minutes. Karkat's presence is neither aggravating nor cathartic for Nepeta, not making her feel any better or worse. But she wants it to make her feel better. She wants to find a healing power in companionship. But the feeling won't go away. It only continues to grow, and it consumes her head with thoughts of the future once again. Many people her age look to the future and see their lives spreading out before them like a path branching out into millions.

But right now, the mere thought of what's ahead makes her feel like her life is shrinking right in front of her. Life never gets easier. The challenges only grow more difficult with every new year. She has to keep telling herself she can handle whatever comes at her, but she's not so sure she can continue believing that…

She knows she has to though.

Abruptly, Gamzee bursts into the room, his long polka-dotted skirt flaring out behind him in the sea winds, "Yo! You motherfuckers better come the fuck back up top! There's some wicked crazy shit 'bout to go down!"

"Gamzee, please, not now." Karkat groans, putting an arm over his eyes. Nepeta sinks back into the couch, too consumed by her worries to pay attention.

"No, motherfucker." He grabs both of them by the hands, catching Nepeta's attention, "_Yes_ now."

* * *

After dragging the two along up the stairs, he gestures to the night sky. It's clear, and there's nothing special about it.

"What?" Karkat crosses his arms, irritated.

"Wait for it…" Eridan advises, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses. Without another sound, Karkat looks to the sky. Nepeta struggles to lift her chin up and do the same.

That's when the fireworks start exploding to life in the sky.

It's an amazing sight for everyone else, but meanwhile, Nepeta is suffering. The flashes of light assault her eyes repeatedly, and the crackles and booms fill her ears like nails on a chalkboard. She can't cover up her ears or eyes otherwise she'll draw attention to herself, because what kind of freak doesn't like fireworks?

She can't handle it.

In that moment, Nepeta gives up. She gives up on passing as a neurotypical. She gives up on her future full of testing and pressure. She gives up this stupid struggle with normalcy and school. She can't handle it anymore. How can she ever handle it if she can't even handle fucking _fireworks_?

Swallowing down tears, she slips away silently down the stairs, not wanting her friends to see. She makes her way to the stern again, planning to jump off. She can't swim, so, once she's leapt, there's no turning back for her. Slipping out of her life jacket, she weeps, still tormented by the claps of light in the sky as they continue threatening to burst her eardrums.

"I need to end this quickly," she shudders, carefully climbing over the railing so that she's standing on the edge. She looks down dizzily, the water rushing by under the boat. A wave of fear consumes her, swallowing all her worries whole. Nepeta regains her sense, too frightened to meet her end, because she figures, if she's not ready for the rest of her life, how in the hell could she be ready to end it? There's no way out of this mess!

Hastily, she pivots back, wanting to go back up to the top deck. Just then, a noise throws her off.

"Nepeta?" Karkat turns, expecting to find Nepeta behind him, but instead his eyes shoot down towards the stern, where she's standing at the edge of the railing without her life jacket. He cries, "Nepeta!"

And with the jarring sound of her name, she loses her balance and falls backwards into the water with a loud splash.

Tavros and Gamzee scream in reaction, panicking. Vriska watches in silent horror, not answering Sollux and Terezi as they try to ask what's going on. Eridan runs downstairs for the control room, planning to tell his uncle to stop the boat.

And without warning, Karkat also runs down the stairs but off the end of the stern, jumping into the water after her.

"Shit! Kar!" Eridan whirls around, watching his friend swim outward before diving. Shaking his head, he continues towards the control room, busting through the door. "Uncle! Friend ovverboard! Stop the boat!"

"For the love of—!"

The boat slows until at last coming to a halt. Eridan runs for the stern, shouting at the top of his lungs, "Kar!" There's no reply. Frantically, he searches the water for them, at last spotting a pair of heads sprouting above the water in the distance. He hollers, "Hang on! I'm going to shoot you guys a lifesaver with the crossbow!" They can't even hear him from that distance.

Nepeta shrieks, flailing violently, "No! No, no, no, no!" Karkat holds tightly to her with one arm as he paddles with the other, shushing her as best as her can.

"Shh, shh, Nep. Nep, it's okay. I got you. Shh, it's alright. Calm down, okay? Calm down…" She runs out of energy, unable to protest as her nerves are buzzing with adrenaline. She's hyperventilating, close to passing out, but all Karkat can focus on is getting back to the boat. The life jacket is so buoyant that it's rising off his shoulders, making it a little difficult to move forward without it choking him a little. Nepeta panting in his ear like a monster is after her isn't helping him either. "Shh, breathe, Nepeta, breathe. You're gonna be alright, okay? Now, breathe… shh…"

Meanwhile, Eridan has finally found the antique crossbow, and before his uncle can yell at him to put it back in the lounge above the bar where it belongs, Eridan ties everything together using the spare anchor ropes and blasts the life saver into the water. It lands with a plop on the surface, just a few feet in front of Karkat. Thankful it came just when his arm started getting sore, he hooks his arm through it. When Eridan feels the tug, he starts pulling them in, trying his best not to go too fast.

Nepeta's breathing has slowed down to a normal pace, but now she's just shaking. Whether it's from the cold or anxiety, Karkat isn't sure. And she isn't even sure herself either.

Once Eridan tugs them in all the way, they pull Nepeta first. She falls smack against the ship floor, clawing at the hat she almost lost when she sees that it fell off her head onto the deck before she jumped. Karkat comes up next. Without meaning to, he topples on top of her, exhausted. She makes no reaction, as she is too busy gnawing at her hat. Impressions be damned, she'll die from overload if she doesn't bite it now.

The caped boy leans down to ask, "You alright, Kar?"

"I'm fine." He pants, before patting the girl under him, "_She's_ not though." With this, Nepeta coughs, letting out a bit of seawater. It's enough to make Eridan sigh with pity. He meets her eyes.

"…sorry, Nep." In response, she takes her hat out of her mouth and mumbles something unintelligible. "Come again?" She doesn't repeat herself. On that note, Eridan turns away from them both and walks back towards the control room to inform his uncle of the situation.

Everyone starts crowding around them, causing Nepeta to curl up and cry and mumble to herself loudly. Karkat shoos his friends away, demanding some fucking space. Respectfully, they back off. Eridan watches from the control room as Karkat runs his fingers through Nepeta's hair.

"I'm… so scared…" she chokes out, murmuring to herself through the tears, "I'm so… scared."

"Nepeta, you're okay now. It's alright."

"I'm so scared."

"Shh, you'll be fine, Nepeta. Don't worry."

"I'm so scared!" She nearly shrieks at him, trying to get across every fear she has for the future with just that one statement. Her head can't process other words for it. She's drawing a blank to express herself, and this is the only statement she's able to articulate right now in the mess of her mind. Of course he doesn't understand why she's scared. But it doesn't take a genius to understand his friend is suffering… so, all Karkat can offer is a hug. "I'm so scared…"

"Don't be. I'll be here for you." He tightens his embrace as she hugs him back, crying into his shoulder, "I'll be here for you."

* * *

The ship returns to Ahab's dock, the night having been saved by the declaration of an after-party at Sollux's place. All the teens leave the dock with a ride except for Nepeta and Terezi. Karkat decides to drive them both home for courtesy's sake on Terezi's behalf and utter decency for Nepeta's sake. Nepeta's place is his first stop, and she gets out with only a hoarse "thank you" on her lips, no more, no less. The two watch her go inside the house before taking off.

"Terezi…" Karkat begins, not sure bringing up this topic now would be perfect timing, but dammit, he promised himself he'd say something before the end of the week, "I still… have red feelings for you."

"Oh." She sits there for moment, knowing what she wants to say but unsure of how to go about it. The wait is agony until, finally, she breaks his heart as concisely as she can, "I'm sorry, Karkat. But… even if I wanted to, a matespritship with you isn't really a possibility for me anymore. I'm… kind of with someone right now."

"Who?" He looks at her, surprised. Karkat would've never guessed. She never seemed to be busy or infatuated with anyone he knew at the moment.

"His name is Dave. He goes to another school. It's far, but we're making it work. I'm… meeting him for the first time tomorrow."

"…I see." Karkat states, trying to sound unfazed. "Well, good for you. Hope you guys are happy together."

"Karkat…"

"No, really, I hope you guys are just… _super_ together, okay?" He bites his lip to keep from adding, "But don't you hesitate to tell me if he starts being a dick to you because I will fucking beat his ass so hard."

"…alright. Thanks." Terezi has a genuine smile on her face, and all Karkat can do is sit there and take it in, take in the fact that now, someone else is making her happy and doing a better job of it than he did. But it's okay. It'll be okay. He'll get over it, won't he?

That doesn't change how much it actually hurts though, to hear all of his hopes for a second chance shattered like that.

At last, he pulls up to her drive way.

"Need me to walk you inside?"

"No, it's fine." Terezi smiles tiredly at him, "Good night, Karkat."

"Night, Terezi."

* * *

Karkat's words fill her head, playing on loop again and again.

"_I'll be here for you."_

The fuzzy feeling fills her chest again. A need tugs at her heartstrings as those words echo through her head. There is no desire to kiss him, only one to embrace him, to protect him and support him, to provide him with the comfort and kindness he gave her in her moment of need. She can only vaguely distinguish now what she's feeling. And the feeling… is pale.

Nepeta is disgusted with herself for feeling that way about someone else.

To take her mind away from such unfaithful thoughts, she texts Equius, telling him she loves him. He doesn't text back, likely because he's asleep. Still, she's upset. Just when she needs him most, he can't be there for her.

"_I'll be here for you."_

"This needs to stop." Nepeta groans, shooing the memory of Karkat's words from her head. She needs a distraction, outlet to vent. So, her solution ends up being scriptwriting for episode six.

And she decides to make it as unrelated to her current situation as possible, just so she can get it all off her mind.


	15. EPISODE 6: Changes of Heart

Episode 6: Changes of Heart

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Gruide's hive. She wakes up and drags herself out of her recuperacoon, dripping with sopor slime. She goes to the kitchen and proceeds to prepare a pie for Blende without washing her hands off first. The slime drips into the pie filling as she whisks it together with crushed bugs in a bowl. Once it's in the oven, she sits down on her workbench next to the appliance, starts up her husktop on the countertop nearby, and readjusts her robotic wings with some power tools. The timer goes off. She gets up and retrieves her chocolate cream pie. Upon returning to the countertop, she logs onto Trollian. Her trolltag is VivaciousVulture. She types to Satlie, who is online.)

VV Hey whats w1th the lewd sh1t you threw th1s way and that at Lap 1ne? 1 dont l1ke when you do that sh1t!

SS Oh! Gruide, I'm HiSSsorry. You know I'll never hate anyone the way I hate you~

SS It was just some unfriendly innocent banter.

VV 1t seemed a b1t lewd 1f you ask me. L1ke d1d you need to throw the word "pa1l" out there? For real?

SS I got a little carried away. ^^" My bad!

SS I just _hate _her, you know? But not the way I hate you~ I mean, HiSSshe's way prettier than you!

VV What?~

SS Yeah! The HiSSstupid blackrom HiSSslut gets laid more than you do for a reason, you know?

SS Also, HiSSshe would probably be better in the sack than you~

VV Oh 1s that so? 1 th1nk 1 could prove that wrong~

SS Try me S;D

VV 1ll be there l1ke soon (Gruide then instantly logs off. She rushes out of the hive with her pie to drop it off at Lapine's place before she meets up with her kismesis. The scene setting then quickly switches over to Lapine's hive, where Lapine is searching frenziedly for spare joints. Verify or Attempt had depleted Blende's supply, as many got burned in the Curntlian sun when Chishu and Pernel rolled by and knocked the stash over.)

Blende (in a scary voice) Oh, Lapine? Where are you? Have you seen where my stash went? (A dart flies right above her head.)

Lapine (squeaking in fright) Hold on, palebro! I will find the rest of your stash! (Another dart flies overhead, but this one is on fire now. Panicking, she blows the flame out like a candle. Blende enters the room, calculator in hand. He is punching numbers into it harshly.)

Blende (in a low voice) I'm thirsty. (A knife flies out of the calculator and hits the wall to her left.)

Lapine (gulping) U-Uh, th-the tomato juice you made the other day is still in the fridge, if you want.

Blende (laughing, then speaking with a threatening smirk) I was thinking I could have a shot of something… bluer. (He bares his fangs. Just then, the doorbell buzzes.)

Lapine (antsy) Imma go answer that! (She scurries away, narrowly evading getting zapped by a laser beam from the calculator. She opens the front door, speaking shakily.) Hey, Gruide. (She looks down at her friend's hands.) Did you make that for Blende?

Gruide (nodding cheerfully) "I sure did! Um, is he awake right now?"

Lapine (hesitantly) Yes…

Gruide (in a slow, inquisitive tone) "Can I see him?"

Lapine (haltingly) Uhh… (Blende bursts in, smells the chocolate pie and drops his calculator when his eyes meet with Gruide's.)

Gruide "Yo, Blende!" (She slips past Lapine towards him.) "I made something for you!" (The smell of chocolate soothes him, and he calms down as soon as she passes the pie tin to him.)

Blende (flattered and surprised) Just for me?

Gruide (eyes shifting to Lapine guiltily) "Yeah… I mean, it has beetle powder in it, so Lapine can't really eat it…"

Blende (hugging her with one arm because he has to hold the pie with the other) Thank you~ (He smiles at her and it suddenly makes her heart melt a little bit.)

Gruide (flushing) "Ah, I-I… no problem, Blende. Well… bye then."

Blende (closing the door) See you. (He immediately tastes the pie filling and goes lax.)

Gruide (making internal commentary as she walks away) _Huh, what a weird feeling…_ (Her heart is thumping so hard she can hear it pounding in her ears. Looking down at her hands, she sees the dried slime from her recuperacoon and gets grossed out.) _Ew, I need to wash off in the ablution trap at Satlie's place later…_

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens at Satlie's hive. Gruide immediately arrives on screen and kicks down the back door.)

Satlie (shouting) Get over here, you stupid bitch! (Still at an outside view, the sounds of banging, thumping, and shattering can be heard. Then, a moment of quiet takes place, followed by a string of sloppy kissing noises. Dansus arrives at the door and knocks. Chishu, with mussed hair and wrinkled, unbuttoned clothing, answers the door.)

Dansus (surprised to see their moirail's matesprit) Oh. Um, hello.

Chishu (cordially) Good evening. Dansus, right? (They nod, eliciting a giggle. Chishu waves.) Ha, thought so~ Satlie has told me so much about you… (He laughs nervously then coughs awkwardly. Then he gestures.) Come right on in!

Dansus (entering, looking around) Uhh…

Chishu (giggling) Well, don't just stand there! (He sits down on the couch, patting the spot beside him.) Take a seat! Don't be shy! (Much to his horror, he very quickly notices his bucket behind the couch and so he shoves it to the side so it's out of sight.)

Dansus (not having noticed the bucket) What was that?

Chishu (laughing nervously) Nothing… (He clears his throat.) So what's up? What do you need?

Dansus Satlie said she wanted to talk to me about yesterday…

Chishu Oh! Um, hang on. (He turns to her respite block.) Let me just see if—

Satlie (moaning loudly) Oh, _fuck_! Harder, you bitch, _harder_!

Chishu (turning away from her respite block) She's preoccupied at the moment. (He laughs awkwardly.)

Dansus (crestfallen) I see. Um… how long do you think they're going to take?

Chishu (blushing) Uh… if it's anything like it was for me when I was her kismesis, probably all night.

Dansus (pausing, then with growing anger) Huh! 'Rails before pails, my ass! Some palemate _she_ is!

Chishu (comfortingly) Aw, hey now, it's alright! Don't look so glum! (Dansus rolls their eyes.) We can talk about dancing while we wait!

Dansus (wrinkling their nose, speaking skeptically) You dance?

Chishu I sure do! Look! (He springs from the couch up to a supporting pole. He swings around it by the arms, moving fancily. Dansus watches indifferently. Chishu finishes his routine, asking Dansus for their opinion on it.) So? What'd you think?

Dansus (sneering) You _pole_ dance? (They laugh meanly.) That was disgusting!

Chishu (hurt) Hey, I worked hard on that routine! And pole dancing is harder than it looks, thank you!

Dansus Spinning like a whore around a support beam? (They take on a sarcastic tone.) Yeah, that _sure_ takes a lot of effort!

Chishu (indignantly) I'd like to see _you_ try it!

Dansus (laughing) Please! I'd never stoop to such a _disgraceful_ form of dance, if it can even be called that! (They groan in irritation.) I didn't come here for this! I'm leaving.

Chishu But Satlie's almost done! Let's just wait—

Satlie (from inside her respite block) No, you get back over here! I'm _far_ from done with you!

Dansus (in a huff) Some taste in women _you_ have! If she's too busy for her moirail, then who's to say she won't brush _you_ off for Gruide?

Chishu (defensively) Shut up! Satlie's not that kind of woman!

Dansus Oh, _please_! I'll believe that when both of you learn to develop a better fashion sense, Mr. Tacky Eye-patch!

Chishu (deeply offended gasping) Take that back!

Dansus Or what? (Dansus sends a challenging smile, turning Chishu on. He stammers a little bit before pulling Dansus into a passionate hate kiss.)

Dansus (pushing him away, thoroughly disgusted) Ugh! I've _had_ it! You two are the worst! I won't stand this any longer! (Dansus exits the hive, slamming the door behind them.)

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens during the day. Chishu has bags under his eyes from waiting for Satlie and Gruide all night. Finally, Satlie comes out of her respite block. Gruide is seen leaving out the window behind her. She looks absolutely squeaky clean.)

Chishu (looking up, surprised) Satlie!

Satlie Oh. Hey, babe. Didn't think you were still here. (She looks around.) Say, did you see Dansus stop by sometime earlier?

Chishu (sighing) Yes.

Satlie Ah, great! Did they say when they'd be back?

Chishu (slightly irritated) They aren't coming back.

Satlie (wavering) Stop kidding, hon. Of course they're coming back, right? (Chishu doesn't look at her, and she grabs his shoulders.) They're my _moirail_! Don't tell me they aren't coming back!

Chishu (mumbling) Too late.

Satlie (livid) I thought they could wait for me! _Why_ didn't you keep them from leaving?

Chishu (yelling back) It's not my fault you took so long with your kismesis!

Satlie What! I thought you were on my side! What kind of matesprit are you?

Chishu The kind who wears a _tacky_ pitiful excuse of an eye-patch!

Satlie (insulted because she made him that eye-patch to make up for putting out his eye when they were kismeses) You ungrateful—! Are you calling my sense of fashion _tacky_?

Chishu Oh, I _am_ calling it tacky! (Satlie starts cussing him out and Chishu starts talking over her. Their argument is so loud that it echoes through the valley all the way to Pernel's hive. Pernel, annoyed, tries his best to ignore them while he paints, but they ultimately get the better of him. He leaves his hive in frustration and marches up to Satlie's hive.)

Pernel (slamming door open, shouting) CAN YOU GUYS—

Satlie and Chishu (turning to him) Pernel!

Pernel (continuing)—SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONE GOGDAMNED SECOND?

Satlie and Chishu (speaking in unison) Sorry, my matesprit's just being a little bitch! (They turn to one another.) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE BITCH? (The two start arguing again, enraging Pernel.)

Pernel (threateningly with a palette knife) BOTH OF YOU QUIT IT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I DECIDE TO PAINT A SEASCAPE WITH YOUR BLOOD! (They instantly stop arguing.)

Satlie and Chishu (slinking away) Sorry.

Pernel (sighing) Come on, you guys! You two are better than this! Don't let that annoying little vase-wrecker ruin your matespritship! (They both look at each other apologetically) There. Now are we all happy with each other?

Satlie and Chishu (smiling at each other) Yeah.

Pernel (sighing happily) Then good. My work here is done. (He makes his way for the door.)

Satlie (as he sets his hand on the knob) Pernel?

Pernel (turning to look at her) What?

Satlie I didn't know… you felt this way about us. I mean, if you wanted to be ashen, you could've said something sooner.

Pernel (flushing) No! It wasn't like that! I-I just (He growls in abashed frustration.)—this was a one-time thing, so don't expect me to do it again, okay?

Chishu Alright, alright. Thanks, Pernel.

Pernel (opening door) Don't mention it. (He closes the door behind him.)

—END OF EPISODE 6—


	16. The Vacillarette

**A/N**:

**Dearest readers, I hate to say it, but we are now approaching the end! To clarify, season one will end at episode nine, and, well, we're on our way there I guess. Rest assured, I'm fairly confident you won't be disappointed by the outcome. Also, fret not, because I do plan to eventually write season two. I won't spoil anything for now. ;)**

**Anyhow, as always, reviews and faves are appreciated. Now, I do hope you enjoy episode seven. **

**The drama isn't quite over yet, folks.**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Equius has not been replying to her texts at all lately.

It's been weeks since she last saw him, and all she really wanted was to hang out, even if just for an hour. Hell, just to hear his voice and know he's alright would be enough for her. Honestly, it makes her a little worried. Usually, Equius is basically religious when it comes to replying to her texts. So Nepeta can't help but wonder if something happened to him.

She doesn't ever call him, but right now, it's urgent she knows that he's okay.

"Hello?" he answers groggily, lifting his heavy head from his work desk. His eyes droop with fatigue, and he can barely keep them open. Nepeta can't see any of this, but she can hear the sluggish languor in his voice.

"Hi, Equius." She speaks in a hushed, gentle tone, as if introducing herself for the first time, "It's me, Nepeta."

"Oh. What do you need?" Once that phrase slips past his lips, he scolds himself internally. Was that _really_ the first thing out of his mouth? What an impolite thing for him to ask! His grogginess has truly taken the better of him. But, he supposes, there is no need to apologize, since Nepeta has always proven herself to be a forgiving moirail.

Indeed, she'd be more offended by his question if she wasn't so happy to hear his voice. Her patience, however, is wearing thin, not that he can tell.

"Do you want to hang out today?" she blurts, hiding her irritation. "It's been a while. I mean, I'll come over to your place if you want. It's only a bus ride away."

"Oh, no, Nepeta, please," his tone takes on a sort of panicked insistence, "You need not do that."

She squeals gleefully, "So you'll come over to my place then?"

"No!" He yells, causing Nepeta to cringe on the other end. Softening his volume, he sighs, "I mean, ugh… no, I apologize, Nepeta. I can't hang out with you today."

"Well, why not?"

"…I'm busy. In fact, I need to get back to work now. I shall speak with you another time."

Before Nepeta can even protest, he hangs up on her without a goodbye, further shaming himself mentally once he realizes how rude that was as well. He then looks at the project pieces set out before him, waiting to be put together.

Meanwhile, Nepeta sits there, staring miserably at her phone. How could he? How could Equius treat her like this? All she wanted… was to hang out.

"_I'll be here for you."_

Without a second thought, Nepeta sends a text Karkat's way.

* * *

They meet up at his place, where she magnanimously presents her finished script for episode six to him. It, of course, blows him away.

"Holy shit, Nep!" Karkat yells joyfully as he reads the last lines of the script, "You have fucking outdone yourself!"

"Glad you like it!" Nepeta grins. "I was just tying everything up, you know? Any romance expert would've seen it all coming together like this."

Karkat stares at the screen, smiling, "This really came together _so _well." He sighs, "I don't know if I can do you justice for the next episode. I really fucking hate to say it, but I don't have many ideas at the moment."

"Aw, I'm sure you'll think of something." She strokes his back with her tail soothingly. "I mean, you know how brilliant you are, right?"

Flattered, he flushes, "You think I'm brilliant?"

"Duh!" She pats him on the back, giggling, "I don't write romcom scripts with just _anyone_. That's why I asked you."

Karkat is stunned. This is the first time anyone has ever made him feel this way. This is the first time someone has called him brilliant. This is genuinely the first time someone has praised him for being good at something. It's almost enough to make him cry.

"Oh. Um, wow, fuck." Karkat laughs sheepishly, "I don't know what to say!"

"You don't have to say anything." Then Nepeta notes, "And you know… you have a really nice smile. You should wear it more often."

"Well, if you keep saying shit like that… maybe I will."

Two dorks sit in a room, smiling stupidly at each other as they start to feel something growing between them. Unspoken devotion and sincere concern sprout up silently like daisy seedlings in the surrounding air. The tacit sentiment is so strong that, with a just a look into each other's eyes, they can tell that the feeling is mutual.

And both know that the way they feel about each other now… will be problematic.

* * *

It's befuddling, to say the least. Karkat has never felt a need to really reconnect with his moirail until now. He wants to remind himself why he even bothers with that haphazard stoner, why he dares to call Gamzee his palemate.

And sometimes, he really wonders why they're still together.

Karkat pulls up to his moirail's driveway, unsurprised to find Gamzee at the front porch with a bong pressed to his lips.

"Karbro!"

"Hey, Gamzee." Karkat slams the car door behind him, holding onto a bag of groceries. "I got your shit."

"Mother_fuck_ damn!" the stoner cries gleefully, throwing his arms around Karkat, "Thanks, man! Just in time too, cuz this fucker here is _starving_."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go make yourself some dinner, okay?"

"Aw shit man, I don't know." Gamzee rubs the back of his neck, "Maybe cook for me tonight?"

Ah yes, Gamzee never fails to remind Karkat how hopeless he is without the care of his palemate. It's almost as if, every time Karkat visits, his moirail has sunken just a notch deeper to a new level of laziness. He can't help but be amazed that Gamzee has survived for this long on his own, seeing that this stoner's parent barely ever comes home.

With a sigh, he replies, "Sure, I guess…"

"Sweet!" Taking his moirail's hands, Gamzee leads his palemate inside the house, "Come the motherfuck on in!"

Lately, it's always been him picking up the slack in one way or another. It's been Karkat sending a text every afternoon this summer to make sure he's eaten something other than an oven-baked pastry. It's been Karkat running errands like laundry pickup and grocery shopping for him. It's been Karkat getting dragged along on a shopping spree for Faygo and comfortable skirts and useless bike horns. Fuck, he has a lot of bike horns. He keeps them in a pile outside his room. And Karkat has to make sure every time he visits that Gamzee fixes that fucking fire hazard of a pile.

It wasn't always like this. It started out so good at first. Gamzee was an awesome guy. Once upon a time, he used to listen to Karkat's problems and actually give Karkat the encouragement to go into the next day. But as time went on, it had become more and more apparent that the burden of pale responsibility was fated to be tragically uneven. Karkat had ended up with the short end of the stick because of Gamzee's growing complacency. Now he'd become nothing more than a nanny to this juggalo, and it just made Karkat feel so… used.

"Mm, that shit smells _miraculous_. You're the motherfuckin' best, Karkat." He would smile. "I sure am lucky to have a palemate like you, man."

Forcing his own smile, Karkat would turn away from the stove and reply, "Same here."

* * *

Without meaning to, Karkat finds himself hanging out with Nepeta more and more often. He tries to convince himself he doesn't really want to, but that's just not the reality of it. He can't help himself. It's like some compelling force in his gut keeps telling him that he needs to hang out with her, to check up on her and make sure she's okay.

And Nepeta never objects to it. In fact, she _really_ appreciates his company, considering her own moirail won't even go out of his way to visit or invite her over anymore. Not to mention, she feels like Karkat is a lot more fun to hang with anyway. Recently, they both got into the same fandom for a certain reality show dating series called "The Vacillarette". The fact that they have common ships for the main girl only adds to their bond. It's _really_ nice to have a buddy who has at least one ship in common with you. And this shipping element to their friendship is something they know neither Gamzee nor Equius would understand.

In fact, it is _dangerously_ intimate.

_"I think you're awful, it's just…" The main girl sighs, "I'm a big believer in namesakes, and… your name means 'lover', and I can't really get myself away from that association. I just don't think our hatred was meant to be, you know?"_

_ "Are you kidding me?"_

_"…I'm not. I'm sorry, but I'm sending you home."_

Karkat and Nepeta howl at the computer screen, shocked and thoroughly disappointed by the vacillarette's decision.

"No, they would've been the best kismeses!" Nepeta whines.

Karkat clutches his head, groaning, "Fuck, I can't believe she just—_why_?"

"Hold me, Karkat, I can't take it!" She mewls unhappily, falling over his lap, "Our caliginous ship has _sunken_!"

"Today is a sad day for everyone who shipped him black with her." He moves a hand through her hair, "There, there, Nep. It's going to be okay." She snorts a giggle, causing him to crack a smile and giggle himself.

"Crap, you're such a ham. Is Eridan rubbing off on you?"

He jostles her, laughing. "Shut up!"

"…it's weird though, the namesake thing I mean." She sits up. "I mean, how was he supposed to know his _name_ would throw her off? People don't really know where their names come from. I mean, do you even know what your name means?"

He shrugs, "I'm not really sure. But my dad said it had to do with an old Greek story about a crab or some shit like that."

"Huh. Well, see, point made."

"Hey… what about your name?"

"Mine?"

"No, your sister's." He scoffs, nudging her playfully, "Yes, yours, who else's?"

With a fond smile, she explains, "I'm named after flowers. My mom is really into botany, so she named me after a genus of flowers commonly known as catmints."

"Wow. That's," he sits back, "really cool."

"Heh. Glad you think so. Equius didn't think much of it when I first told him."

"Well, he can fucking…" Karkat trails off, biting his tongue before he says something he shouldn't. "Sorry, I-I didn't mean to get carried away, I just…"

She merely giggles, "It's alright. I mean… it's nice to know I have a friend who cares that much."

"Yeah… a friend." He murmurs under his breath. The word "friend" makes his heart sink just a little bit. When he feels a wave of excessive concern come over him, he stops in his tracks. Shaking his head of unwanted feelings, he asks, "When's the last time you hung out with Equius anyway?"

"I haven't seen him since school ended…" she looks down at her lap pitifully with a sad sigh. "He keeps saying he's too busy for me."

"Fuck, well…" He states confidently, "if I were your moirail, I'd make sure to take at least one hour away from my shit to see you." Quickly, he adds, "I-I mean… I'd never leave Gamzee hanging like that…"

"…Gamzee sure is lucky to have a moirail like you." Nepeta smiles tenderly at him. And her smile evokes a sort of spark in his chest. Suddenly, he feels a need to guard her as if she were an egg with the world's most fragile shell. And he knows how fragile she can get, now that he recalls the time he stole her tail. Karkat then realizes: there are people who have tried to hurt her. There are people who have treated her poorly. There are people who have taken her _for granted_.

And it pisses him off to think that they could wipe such a beautiful smile off her face like it's no big fucking deal.

"And Equius sure is fucking lucky to call you his palemate." Deciding on the spur of the moment to throw caution to the wind, Karkat says, "Honestly… I wish I could be your second moirail or some shit like that…" And he closes his eyes, prepared for some sort of heated objection. He expects Nepeta to do the right thing: to turn him down, break his heart, and end this ridiculous pale waltz they've been going at.

But her calm reply surprises him.

"Same here."

* * *

Once again, the need to reconnect with Gamzee strikes upon Karkat again, alongside a pang of guilt. Frankly, he isn't sure he's done anything wrong, but he feels like he might have. It's hard to say really, because the fine line between "friendly" and "pale" isn't exactly a clear one.

Still, he can't help but feel like he just might have crossed it straight into infidelity.

He fidgets uncomfortably, tossing and turning in his bed at three AM thinking about it. He wants to text Gamzee right now, wants to tell him straight up that he is a loved motherfucker. But he's asleep right now, and Karkat knows better than anyone that he sleeps like a fucking brick.

He's had Gamzee fall asleep on him while he was talking on many occasions, after all.

A troubled, sinking feeling creeps into his gut once he reminds himself of that. That's just _not_ a thing good moirails do, and for a second, Karkat is burning with rage at the fact that Gamzee had done such a thing to him. Then he digresses from the feeling, shifts again for the umpteenth time under his sheets, and forgives every past offense because that's what good moirails do. Or that's what they're supposed to do anyway.

Karkat couldn't possibly leave over something that small, could he?

Snarbles clinks softly against the glass of his terrarium as he slides off of a rock. The sound reminds Karkat of his hermit crab's existence, and brings the restless boy to recall that he did not feed his pet this morning.

Rising from bed, Karkat shuffles across the room to the terrarium. He mumbles to himself groggily, unscrewing the cap of Snarbles's food.

"Gamzee doesn't know any better…"

* * *

The frequency of Karkat's visits to Nepeta's place hasn't escaped Terezi.

The cat-lover's house seems to be the only place he's been going nowadays. Lately, whenever Terezi asks if he wants to hang out, more than half of the time Karkat says he's already going to Nepeta's place. And that just seems strange to her. In the long time that they'd dated, never has Karkat devoted so much of his time to one person… except for when he first got together with Gamzee.

_"You know, Kar," Eridan starts up indignantly, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were acting like her fuckin' moirail."_

At first, she dismisses the idea of Karkat cheating on Gamzee with Nepeta. Only recently was she reminded of Karkat's pale devotion when he grumbled about having to cook for his moirail the other night. But then the party comes back to mind, with memories of Karkat brutally defending Nepeta in the lounge, and of Tavros explaining later on that Karkat had jumped overboard to save her. Just then, it becomes a very real possibility to suspect that Karkat feels a little more than just friendly platonic sentiments towards Nepeta, but it's not exactly unbelievable, given the circumstances. And a good detective knows… that the evidence doesn't lie. However, Terezi would need a few more leads to find solid proof for this.

And so the investigation begins.

* * *

Terezi asserts, hoping Sollux will comply with her, "It's for his own good."

"For his own good." He repeats blandly, his tone skeptical. "Really?"

"Yes, _really_. Do I sound like I'm joking with you, Captor?"

"You don't," He sighs, returning to his keyboard, "but hacking Karkat's Pesterchum is going to benefit him _how_?"

"By allowing his auspistice to do her job, that's how."

"You're kidding me, TZ." He scoffs, typing even faster now, his fingers brushing over the bumps of braille on each key, "Look, if you're trying to pull some sort of passive-aggressive ex-matesprit thing, don't use me for that. Whatever your problem is, just go _talk_ to him about it."

"Oh my god, Sollux, this isn't me being a butthurt ex," Terezi groans, placing her palm against her forehead, "this is me trying to _mediate_. I mean, Karkat may very well be _cheating_ on Gamzee for all I know, but of course he's not going to tell me about it."

Instantly, Sollux stops typing.

"_What_? With _who_?"

Terezi sasses him, "With _whom_."

"Dammit TZ, I'm a hacker, not a writer. Now," he slowly picks up on his typing again, "if you answer me, I might consider helping you."

"Alright! Now we're talking." She leans against the wall, arms crossed, "I have reason to believe Karkat is trying to make pale advances with Nepeta. And she may very well be reciprocating them."

"Bullshit."

"Now, now, I have yet to prove or disprove that statement. Snooping through Karkat's recent pesterlogs with Nepeta should be enough to settle that."

"Hmm…" It doesn't take Sollux long to open a new window on his computer, a small smirk on his features, "well, this isn't the first time I've messed with his shit."

* * *

The next time Karkat logs onto his Pesterchum, it doesn't escape him that his account has been compromised. He can already see the shift in his chumRoll, since the list goes in order of his most recently clicked names. Last he checked, he was pestering Eridan just an hour ago, yet Nepeta's name is at the top of the list. He clicks her name, finding a pesterlog from two weeks ago under his most recently accessed conversations. He knows now that someone has been prying into his shit. And for Karkat, there is only one person who could have possibly messed with his account.

He opens up a new log with Sollux.

CG OKAY SOLLUX, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING THROUGH MY SHIT

CG WHAT GIVES?

TA calm y0ur tits, kk

TA we were just investigating s0mething

CG *WE?*

CG WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

TA just tz

CG TEREZI? WHAT THE FUCK DOES *SHE* WANT WITH MY PRIVATE SHIT?

TA hey, she said she was y0ur auspistice

TA and she was w0rried that y0u were cheating 0n gz with ac 0r s0mething like that

Karkat tenses once the words appear on his screen. There's a long pause before Sollux starts typing again. The sailor-tongued boy merely waits, his breath trapped in his chest as he holds onto it like he's dangling off the side of a cliff.

TA t0 be h0nest i was c0ncerned t00 s0 I just had t0 d0 it

TAand i feel pretty shitty ab0ut it n0w since tz turned 0ut t0 be sp0uting bullshit

TA s0… n0 hard feelings?

The green-eyed boy breathes out a harsh sigh.

CG SOLLUX

CG YOU'RE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS

CG SO I'M GOING TO BE PAINFULLY FUCKING HONEST WITH YOU NOW

CG TEREZI… WASN'T EXACTLY WRONG TO THINK THAT I MIGHT BE CHEATING ON GAMZEE

CG WELL, FUCK, SHE'S NOT RIGHT EITHER, AT LEAST AS FAR AS I CAN TELL

TA wh0a

TA what d0 y0u mean by that?

CG WHAT I'M SAYING IS

CG I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF I CROSSED A LINE I SHOULD'VE WITH NEPETA…

CG I MEAN, I TOLD HER I'D BE HER SECOND MOIRAIL IF I COULD

TA h0ly shit kk

CG BUT THEN SHE SAID SHE FELT THE SAME WAY

CG AND I DON'T, SHIT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

TA 0h, yeah right

TA c0me 0n, y0u're a fucking s0cial einstein with r0mance

TA y0ur advice is the reas0n i was able t0 get t0gether with aradia

TA i'm pretty sure y0u kn0w what y0u need t0 d0

TA y0u just d0n't want t0 d0 it, d0 y0u?

CG DAMMIT, IT JUST… IT FEELS TOO RISKY

CG I MEAN, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT NEPETA WOULD LEAVE EQUIUS, WHO THE FUCK WILL LOOK AFTER GAMZEE IF *I* LEAVE?

CG HIS DAD SURE AS FUCK ISN'T GOING TO

TA ugh n0

TA st0p

TA just st0p

TA my g0d, i hate it when y0u get like this

TA i mean, listen t0 y0urself kk

TA y0u're n0t his nanny

CG BUT I'M HIS *MOIRAIL*

CG I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM

TA well, when was the last fucking time he t00k care 0f y0u?

Sollux leans back in his seat, pleased with himself for coming up with such a response. Karkat merely blinks and stares at the screen. And before he knows it, his tears are falling on the keyboard. It's been months since Gamzee last embraced him, last comforted him, last asked him what the fuck he wanted rather than just dragging him along for the ride. Karkat's been waiting a long time for things to pick up again and get back to the way they used to be: reciprocated and appreciated. He wants to feel loved by Gamzee again, instead of used.

So that's how he fell into this cycle of constantly forgiving all of the stoner's micro-aggressions. That's how he fell into thinking that if he just waited a little longer, he'd start to see things improve. And this is why he stays tethered to what has degraded into a hopelessly one-sided relationship.

CG FUCK IF I KNOW

CG BUT HE STILL NEEDS ME

CG AND I STILL HAVE NO GOOD REASON TO BREAK THINGS OFF WITH HIM

TA w0w

TA y0u kn0w what?

TA y0u need t0 talk t0 tz ab0ut this shit

TA i mean, she's the reas0n I even b0thered t0 hack y0u 0ver this

CG WELL I GUESS I SHOULD

CG SEEING THAT *YOU* DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY

TA 0kay, if that's h0w y0u see it

TA just exit 0ut the l0g already

CG FINE THEN

CG I WILL

Karkat then mashes his finger against his mouse pad, closing the window and opening up a new conversation with Terezi.

* * *

CG TEREZI, I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO FUCKING SAY TO YOU

GC OK4Y BUT B3FOR3 YOU S4Y 4NYTH1NG

GC 1LL H4V3 YOU KNOW TH4T SOLLUX H4S B33N R3L4Y1NG 3V3RYTH1NG YOU JUST S41D TO H1M OV3R TO M3 WH1L3 YOU W3R3 S4Y1NG 1T

GC SO 1 4LR34DY S4W 3V3RYTH1NG YOU H4V3 TO S4Y ON TH3 M4TT3R

CG WHAT

CG OH YOU HAVE *GOT* TO BE FUCKING KISSING ME

CG *KIDDING!*

CG I MEAN *KIDDING!

CG URGH ***FUCK***

GC K4RK4T

GC 1 TH1NK YOU KNOW B3TT3R TH4N 4NYON3 TH4T TH1S 1SNT HOW MO1R4LL3G14NC3 WORKS

GC 1TS 4 TWO-W4Y STR33T

GC 1F TH1S 1S HOW TH1NGS 4R3 W1TH G4MZ33 NOW

GC TH3N YOU N33D TO BR1NG 1T UP W1TH H1M

CG YOU REALLY THINK I HAVEN'T TRIED?

CG NEGATIVE SHIT JUST FUCKING *FLIES* RIGHT OVER HIS HEAD

CG AND HE TUNES ME OUT IF I START RAMBLING

CG THIS IS WHY I CAN'T TALK TO HIM ANYMORE WHEN SOMETHING SHITTY IS HAPPENING IN MY LIFE

CG BUT YOU KNOW, I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THIS BASTARD ALONE

CG HE'LL BURN HIS FUCKING HOUSE DOWN WITHOUT ME

GC YOUR3 3X4GG3R4T1NG

GC H3 GOT 4LONG JUST F1N3 B3FOR3 YOU 3NT3R3D TH4T QU4DR4NT W1TH H1M

GC 4ND H3'LL G3T 4LONG JUST F1N3 W1THOUT YOU

CG LOOK, I'M NOT GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HIM

CG I JUST GOTTA PULL MY SHIT TOGETHER

CG AND TELL NEPETA THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE SAYING WHAT I SAID TO HER

GC NO

GC K4RK4T YOU KNOW WH4TS GOOD FOR YOU

GC 4ND YOU N33D TO BR34K UP W1TH H1M

CG IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO HIM, I'D NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE MYSELF FOR IT

CG TEREZI I JUST *CAN'T*

Terezi bangs her fist against her desk. This is just like the time he said he couldn't just break up with Nepeta. Karkat piles all this guilt and self-blame on himself until he's completely crushed under the weight of the avalanche. But still he drags himself forward, carrying his own burdens alongside those of everyone else. He knows it's not good for him, that on his worst days he feels like he'll cave in from carrying so much, and yet he drags himself forward until something has finally been broken.

She knows how stubborn he is and how much he loves to dance around the edges of things until shit has really gone wrong. And in the past, she'd given up the argument with him because she'd felt there was no way to sway him.

But she's his auspistice now, and there's no way she's backing down so easily this time.

GC LOOK 1 KNOW YOU K4RK4T

GC W3 W3R3 M4T3SPR1TS FOR 4 LONG T1M3

GC 4ND 1 SHOULDNT H4V3 TO T3LL YOU TH4T TH1S 1SNT YOUR BURD3N TO B34R

GC 1 KNOW YOUV3 H34RD TH1S 4 THOUS4ND T1M3S

GC BUT 3V3RY L1TTL3 D4MN3D TH1NG TH4T H4PP3NS TO YOUR FR13NDS OR MO1R41LS OR WHO3V3R

GC 1SNT YOUR F4ULT 4ND 1TS N3V3R B33N YOUR F4ULT

GC STOP BL4M1NG YOURS3LF FOR YOUR FR13NDS PROBL3MS

GC YOU 4R3 1N NO W4Y OBL1G4T3D TO CONST4NTLY S4CR1F1C3 YOUR H4PP1N3SS FOR TH3 S4K3 OF OTH3RS

GC JUST TO F33L L1K3 YOUR3 4 GOOD P3RSON

GC B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 4 GOOD P3RSON K4RK4T

His breath hitches in his throat. This really is too much, especially coming from her.

CG I'M NOT THOUGH

CG BECAUSE I HURT YOU AND I HURT NEPETA AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I FUCKING HURT ANYONE ELSE

GC 1 S41D YOUR3 4 GOOD P3RSON NOT 4 P3RF3CT ON3

GC R3M3MB3R N3P3T4 FORG4V3 YOU 4ND 1 FORG4V3 YOU

GC BUT 1F YOU CONT1NU3 TO R3P34T TH3 P4ST TH3N YOUR3 SHOW1NG US TH4T OUR FORG1V3N3SS W4S G1V3N 1N V41N

With a sigh on her lips, Terezi pauses for a moment, pushing her bangs to the side, before continuing on.

GC 1 FOR ON3 TH1NK YOU D3S3RV3 TO B3 H4PPY

GC SO 1F YOU WONT DO TH1S FOR YOURS3LF

GC TH3N DO M3 4 F4VOR:

GC 4ND TH1NK OF YOURS3LF FOR ONC3

GC JUST DO WH4TS GOOD FOR YOU OK4Y?

There's only a slight delay before Karkat logs out.

His head is spinning in a shit storm of unwelcome emotions. Feeling the need to empty his mind of all his personal drama, he shifts his attention to the drama of the webseries. From the very first episode, script-writing has proven itself to be a very useful outlet for his frustrations. Writing a new episode has always liberated him in some way or another from his real-life difficulties, because it gives him a place to vent without fear of doing actual harm to an actual person. It transforms the clouds of his despair and anger into something with solid shape, and seals them away, makes them into a tangible item he can control and explain.

So there's no mystery behind how eagerly he opens up a new document file… he's more than ready to just let it all out.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, Nepeta is awake at 3:33 AM, around the time that Karkat has finished the rough draft for episode seven.

Unable to sleep, she busies herself with updating her shipping wall, peeling the sunken ships from all quadrants off the olive-green paint. The glow of her phone's screen is the only visual aid in the darkness as she searches through the pictures for broken romances. As it buzzes in her hand, she thinks for a split second that, at last, Equius is done with whatever he's been working on. She would have never thought it could be anyone else because only Equius of all people had ever texted her at such an unholy hour in the past.

So of course she's astonished to find out that it's Karkat.

—YOU KNOW I'VE GIVEN IT SOME THOUGHT

—AND BEFORE I TELL YOU THIS, YOU NEED TO KNOW IT WASN'T AN EASY DECISION TO MAKE

—IT WAS FUCKING DIFFICULT

—BUT I FEEL LIKE… IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO

—I MEANT WHAT I SAID ABOUT WANTING TO BE PALE AND SHIT

—AND I KNOW, IN THE END, THERE'S ONLY ROOM IN THAT QUADRANT FOR ONE

—SO… I'M GOING TO FUCKING MAKE SOME ROOM FOR YOU

—NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG

—I'M NOT GOING TO PRESSURE YOU INTO LEAVING EQUIUS OR SOMETHING RIDICULOUS LIKE THAT

—BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW

—IF YOUR PALE QUADRANT *DOES* END UP EMPTY

—MINE WILL BE EMPTY TOO

—BECAUSE SHIT, I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, NEPETA

—AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Nepeta's breath goes still in her throat, catching on a choked gasp. A tizzy of electricity trickles through her nerves and buzzes with energy under her skin, but only for a short moment. She's barely noticed how quickly her heart rate has picked up until it's thudding in her ears. It also occurs to her that the room feels so much warmer now.

And she knows this feeling all too well… but she pushes it back. He only means it in a pale sense. It'd be inappropriate for her to feel otherwise. She convinces herself that the feeling was just a momentary delusion, and that it will wear off soon enough.

For the minute, she buys that argument. Yeah… she's pale for him too, nothing else.

—I'M SORRY IF THAT'S OVERSTEPPING IT, BUT THAT'S HOW I REALLY FEEL

—AND YOU SAID YOU FELT THE SAME…

—SO *PLEASE* TELL ME YOUR DECISION AS SOON AS YOU KNOW, OKAY?

—I'LL BE WAITING…

The invitation to switch up Equius for Karkat seems awfully tempting. And right now, it makes so much more sense to leave Equius than to stay with him. She'll never have to worry about Equius's classist remarks and possessive nature ever again. And she'll never have to worry about being abandoned like this again, that's for sure.

Her hand slips over a long forgotten seventh-grade sketch of Romeo and Juliet. Hesitating, she removes it from the wall. They are indeed a dead ship, and, very frankly, they weren't exactly bright. At least, however, they did teach Nepeta a very valuable lesson about romance.

It's never good to rush into things.


	17. EPISODE 7: Palemates on Rocky Shores

**A/N:**

**Chapter warnings: mentions of pyromania and attempted drowning.**

**This one's kinda a short though, just saying. :P**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Episode 7: Palemates on Rocky Shores

SCENE 1

(The scene opens once again at Satlie's hive, in her respite block. She is sitting up in her recuperacoon, talking to Dansus via Trollian. She seems incredibly upset.)

SS I'm HiSSsorry about yesterday! HiSSshe HiSSsorta just HiSSsprung herself on me! Can't you come over again today? Please?

II (They send looping file with an excerpt from the song "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by troll KT Tunstall. Satlie, entirely exasperated, presses play.) I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO, I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO (Satlie closes the file window.)

SS Urgh! Fine! I'm coming over to your place then!

II (They send the same looping file again. Satlie furiously presses play) I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO, I SAID NOOO NO, NOOO, NO NO NO (She closes the file window impatiently.)

SS Too bad! Already on my way! (Satlie logs off. Briefly, Dansus appears on screen, banging their fists against their desk.)

(The setting flips back to Satlie's hive, where she is on her husktop logging off. Before leaving, she takes a moment to shout into a pillow from her couch. She starts ranting to herself.)

SS Ridiculous! Unsupportive! Good for nothing! Urgh! What kind of moirail are they! FUCK!

(Finally, she stomps over to the door and slams it behind her.)

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens in Lapine's hive, where Blende is sleeping soundly in her recuperacoon. His face is messy with pie cream. Lapine glances back at him tentatively before picking up a lighter and heading out.)

(The setting shifts over to Gruide's hive. Lapine knocks on the door. Gruide answers.)

Gruide "Hey, Lapine. What brings you here?"

Lapine (shyly holding up lighter) You got any trash?

Gruide (giving a sigh) "This won't smell too good if you burn it…"

Lapine Doesn't matter to me.

Gruide (giving a deeper sigh) "Okay…" (She retrieves a trash bag filled with rotten milk cartons, chocolate bar wrappers, cracked egg shells, paper cupcake liners, and empty flour sacks.)

Lapine (taking the trash bag, eyes glittering) Thanks! You know a good clearing?

Gruide (giving the deepest sigh) "This is a really dirty habit, Lapine."

Lapine (brushing the comment aside) It's cool, don't worry. I'm not a vandal.

Gruide (chuckling dryly) "Says the troll who burned down her moirail's old hive."

Lapine (offended) Come on! Cut me some slack, I thought the place was abandoned! (She mutters.) Besides, it's not like I just left him crying and homeless. I let him live at my place, didn't I?

Gruide "Yeah… still though…"

Lapine What?

Gruide "You never did tell him the truth about you being the one to burn down his hive in the first place. Did you?"

Lapine (guiltily) No…

Gruide (giving the deepest of deep sighs) "A real palemate tells the truth…"

Lapine (disgruntled) I know! I know! I'll tell him eventually.

Gruide (closing her eyes) "Alright then." (She starts to close the door.) "Well, see ya."

Lapine "Bye." (Gruide closes the door.)

(Inside her hive, Gruide looks to a picture frame with a photo from a space fishing trip with Lapine and Blende, then to a photo of Blende and herself planting his new garden together. She runs a finger over this picture and sighs.)

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens in a clearing in the valley where Blende's old hive used to be. The valley sits at the bottom of the gorge between Satlie's and Chishu's hives. Blende's old hive is in ruins, and it seems almost ancient. Soon enough, Lapine arrives in front of it.)

Lapine (glancing over the ruins and muttering) The place looked like a wreck way before I got her anyway… (She dumps the trash bag in front of her and then ignites her lighter.) Aw, hell _yeah_.

(Meanwhile, Satlie is now on her way out of her hive to Dansus's when she sees Lapine. Narrowing her eyes at Lapine, she decides to stomp down over the clearing in the valley. While Lapine is lighting a piece of paper cupcake liner, Satlie sneaks up on her and puts her in a headlock. Lapine drops the lighter as she struggles against Satlie, and all the trash is set ablaze on the ground.)

Satlie (angrily, with tears streaming down her face) This is _your_ fault! My moirail hates me because of you! I should wring your neck and hang you by your slutty bunny hate bulge!

Lapine (choking) Let… me… go! (Satlie's expression changes and she releases Lapine, but then she grabs Lapine by the arms before the bunny troll is able to get away.)

Satlie (smirking cruelly) Now why would I? (She calls out to her moirail.) Dansus! I have a surprise for you! (She starts dragging Lapine with her down to Dansus's hive. Lapine's hat falls off as she struggles against her rival.)

Lapine (flailing feet and struggling) No, stop! You bitch! What the fuck do you want from me!

Satlie (darkly) I want you to _die_.

Lapine (shouting) Dansus! Help! Your moirail's gone off the deep end!

Satlie (cackling) That's right, call them! Get them over here! (She shouts across the ocean, her voice echoing.) Because it's either her or me, Dansus! 'Rails before pails, remember? Now hurry the fuck up before I drown her rabbitty ass in your lawnring! (Lapine bites Satlie's arm and tackles her into the water. Satlie won't go down without a fight however, and she flips their position so that Lapine is on the bottom. Lapine's face is partially submerged and the shore touches her hair. Suddenly, a wave washes over her face.)

Lapine (coughing out water) Dansus! Blende! Gruide! Somebody! Please! Help! _Help_!

Satlie (impatiently) Holy fuck, come _on_! What's taking you, Danz? (Finally, Dansus comes out of their hive. Abruptly, a bird shits in her hair.) Ugh!

—END OF EPISODE 7—


	18. Where One Door Closes, Another Opens

**A/N:**

**It's still Thursday on the west coast as I upload this, peeps. Just know that :P**

**When you see the (edited) lyrics from a certain song, they were originally from a song called "For Good" from a musical called _Wicked_. And, as for the final episode, I'll have to leave you peeps in suspense for a while. I'm going to be starting college soon, so I'll be busy with life in the meantime. Expect the final episode of the season to be uploaded somewhere on a weekend in September (hopefully!). **

**Anyhow, at last, here it is: episode eight. I do hope y'all enjoy :3**

**-Reddie**

* * *

Morning is the best time to do it.

Sleepy eyed, Karkat rouses himself from bed and props his skinny body up on two feet, dragging said feet forward out the door. He doesn't bother to change his clothing, brush his teeth, or even fix his hair. He just slams the car door shut and shoves his foot against the gas, bound for Gamzee's house. It's early morning and there's no one on the road. And even if there was, he wouldn't care if he was speeding. In the morning, first thing after he wakes up, it is guaranteed that he will not give a single fuck about anything or anyone.

And that's why this is the best time to do it.

With a trembling fist, he bangs against his soon-to-be ex-moirail's door, shivering against the morning air. Right now, he's clad only in a torn undershirt and a crappy pair of thin pajama pants, and he can bet his bony ass that there are goose bumps on the skin underneath his clothing too. He catches a glimpse of someone jogging by, wondering how the hell they can stand to run in the cold like this.

He fucking hates mornings.

Finally, Gamzee answers the door, a joint between his teeth. The skirt of his Tinkerbell costume flutters in the morning breeze, alongside his fairy wings. In the background, a Peter Pan-dressed Tavros bends a little to see who's at the door. Meeting eyes with Karkat for a moment, he waves shyly from his spot on the floor, his hand filled with Pokémon cards.

"Hey, Karkat." Gamzee chuckles, lazily blowing some smoke over his moirail's face. "What's got you up so motherfucking early?"

Waving the smoke out of his face, Karkat snarls, "I will fucking _tell_ you what's got me up!"

"Yeah, brother?" The stoner's laughter comes out like honking, "Then preach it!"

"I came here to say that you are a _crappy moirail_, and I'm sick of always looking after you and your shit! I'm not your fucking nanny, dammit!" Tears begin pooling in his green eyes, "You need to grow the fuck up and learn how to fucking take care of yourself! Because I'm not going to do that for you anymore! I'm _done_ with you!"

Karkat stands there panting, his body shuddering with anger. This is it. Everything he's been holding in, all the micro-aggressions that have piled up… they all amount to five explosive sentences. Every nerve in his body is screaming at him like he just kicked the juggalo upside the head.

Yet all Gamzee can say is, "I know."

"What do you mean," Karkat grips him by the front of his dress, "_you 'know'_?"

Gamzee puts up his hands, "Terezi all up and already did this break-up shit for you, so it's all over now. It's alright."

"No…" Tears rush down his cheeks as he screams in Gamzee's face, "it's _not_ al-fucking-right! It's not her right to waltz in and break up with people for me! That's my right! Oh my god, Gamzee, did you ever even take me seriously? How can you take her word for it like she's in charge of me or something?"

"Well, shit, brother, she _said_ she was your auspistice."

"You idiot!" He roars, shoving him backwards. Pointing, he cries out, "You may as well be saying you don't respect me enough to make my own fucking decisions! If you really think she's the boss of me and my relationships, then screw _you_! Screw our moirallegiance, screw our friendship, and screw everything we've been through together! You fucking _asswad_!"

"Karbro…" Gamzee reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder, only earning a slap across the face. Tavros freezes up as he watches from inside the house.

"_Now_ you try to shush pap me? Only _now_?" Karkat lashes out, sobbing. "What about the time you told me to pipe down because I was killing your mood? You know, why the hell didn't you listen to me for a fucking a second? That's what moirails are supposed to do! That's what… they're supposed to…"

Karkat falls to his knees, his voice consumed by hiccupping tears. He presses a dry wrist to his eyes, trying to keep any more of his tears from spilling out. Gamzee stands there, rolling his joint between his teeth, waiting for his ex-palemate to calm down. After a while, he feels that he's been waiting too long.

Casting a glance back at his Peter Pan-dressed guest, Gamzee shrugs, "Motherfuck, man, uh… you're kinda bringing me and Tav down here… so I'm sorry, geez."

"N-No. 'Sorry'… i-isn't gonna cut it now, Makara." Karkat gets out hoarsely. He turns around, heading back towards his car. "I'm not changing my mind. W-We're _really_ done here. Just… fuck you."

Karkat expects Gamzee to come after him. Hell, he's hoping for it.

But as he walks away, all that meets his ears is the bitter sound of silence.

* * *

When Nepeta wakes up that afternoon, Equius pesters her online.

Grumbling to herself as she hurries to catch up with her delayed morning routine, she keys in her password clumsily, repeating herself a couple of times until she's got it right.

CT D-} I apologize VERY deeply for neglecting to contact you as of late, but it was all within good reason

CT D-} Now, if you will, please come to my house at once

CT D-} I have something to show you

AC :3 {*ac will be there AFTER she finishes her cereal*

CT D-} Alright then

CT D-} I promise you will not be disappointed once you arrive

She huffs and types out sassily.

AC :3 {i better not be :P

AC :3 {…it's good to hear from you though

CT D-} It's good to speak with you as well

CT D-} I've missed you…

AC :3 { me too…

AC :3 { okay, see you when i get there ^_^

* * *

Nepeta isn't exactly thrilled to see her moirail in such a sorry state, careworn with his matted dirty hair pulled back in a ponytail. He seems to be sweating even more than usual, and it doesn't help the fact that, _dammit_, he really reeks.

Without warning however, he opens up his big muscular arms to embrace his moirail, sucking her into the stench of his pits.

"Nepeta!" His voice is ecstatic, and the emotion is so real that it makes Nepeta question whether or not this moment is just a part of a wishful dream. Another whiff of her moirail's stink is enough to prove the reality of the situation, but all she can do is shrug and squeeze back with just as much strength. Backing away, he places a hand on her shoulder, "Now, if you'll just come right this way."

He leads her back to his workshop, a mess of robot parts, power tools, and crumpled blueprints. But in the corner, a lanky figure stands under an indigo drape, waiting to be unveiled. This must be what Equius wanted to show her.

She walks over to it, "Is this…?"

"Go ahead." Equius nods, "Take off the cover." Without further hesitation, the shipper girl pulls off the sheet.

Before Nepeta stands a girl with wire-lined robotic limbs, her face hidden behind long black hair. Tentatively, she pushes the locks to the side, holding her breath for the sight that comes next. Instantly, her breath rushes out of her throat in a gasp when she recognizes the face behind that hair.

She whispers, "Aradia?" Her palemate nods, placing a hand on her shoulder. Nepeta's eyes begin to well up with tears. Never did she think… she'd see the face of her friend again.

"This is what I've been working on, Nepeta." He explains tenderly, "All summer, I've dedicated all of my time and energy to completing her. It's the first time I've ever done a project like this, but it's been well worth it when I see the outcome. And you're… the first person other than me to see her face." As Nepeta continues staring at the android, he continues on, "All of her language software, her emotion/sensory processors, her personality data and even her memories… they're all installed and tested. She's fully functional now… but I don't want her to be just another android. Once I find the money to afford more synthetic skin, I'll enroll her in school with us again. She'll be the real deal. Aradia… can be with everyone again."

"How did you…?" She gropes for the right words. He gives her the space she needs to find them.

"Yes, Nepeta?"

"How did you… how did you… her memories?"

"Ah! Now that was tricky." He admits shyly, "I… had to pull a few strings, but, after much insistence, I got permission to access her records. From there, I fabricated events based on them, and then I translated the events into codes that her brain could process. For other personal moments, I pestered as many people as I could for stories about her. To my surprise, Sollux wasn't very cooperative…" he sighed. "I sent voice samples and audio blueprints to prove the validity of my requests, but he still would not share anything worthy of adding to her long-term data. I'm actually sorry for him, really. Once I activate her, there's no telling if she'll truly identify him as her matesprit. I mean, I did put the code in for him, but without the sufficient memory to support it as a fact, her brain might reject the data I input. Speaking of which… I'll need some stories from you too." He smiles pleasantly at her, "We wouldn't want Aradia to see you as a stranger now, would we?"

Completely over his smell, she leans forward to hug him.

"You're the best, Equius."

* * *

—:3 {*ac requests that we hang out at the karaoke booth on satpurrday*

—:3 {if that's okay with you

—ALRIGHT

—SOUNDS GOOD TO ME

Regaining his focus on the road, the freckled teen hits the brakes as someone cuts him off. Impatient and anxious to see Nepeta, he honks the horn, earning a partially deserved middle finger in the mirror. There are more important things on his mind at the moment though, and he continues on his way to his pale crush, his heart full of hope.

It's been two days since he broke up with Gamzee, and all he can think about is Nepeta now. She fills his heart with nothing but joy and excitement and nervousness, to the point where it almost seems obsessive. He loves her like he's never held pale affection for anyone before. But he knows rejection is a likely possibility. He shouldn't get his hopes up too high or get too attached.

But still, his heart falls into conflict with his head, consuming his mind in thoughts of her.

It's raining by the time Karkat reaches the karaoke booth. Nepeta stands outside, protected from the downpour by a clear umbrella. It's been about two weeks since he last sent the text confessing his pale feelings for her, yet she still couldn't find the heart or the right words to convey to him that she doesn't feel the same way anymore. He'd been visiting for a while now, but he never brought it up. Still, there was that unspoken weight on her. He wouldn't forget about something like that, and he knows she wouldn't either.

So if she couldn't tell him her decision… she'd show him.

Getting out of his car, he greets her with a warm smile. Catching him by surprise, Nepeta replies with an embrace, as if to convey some sort of preemptive apology to him. She shouldn't be sorry that she doesn't feel the same way about him anymore. It's not like her heart has an on/off switch for these kinds of things. But still, she can't help but feel bad for him.

She caught wind from Terezi about all the events leading up to his and Gamzee's break-up, so she was at least a little relieved to know that now, at least Karkat isn't stuck in a dead-end relationship anymore. As the astute shipper she is, she knows that it's better to abandon a sinking ship than to drown with it, that it's better for Karkat to not have a moirail at all than to have a bad one. Still, it's upsetting to know that, soon, none of his quadrants will be filled in anymore. There's no telling when Terezi will break off with both of them, and, from the looks of things, it really seems like she's just about done…

Gingerly, Karkat's returns her embrace, patting her back softly a couple of times. Pushing him away, she takes him by the wrist to lead him indoors.

"Come on. It's freezing out here." She tugs him along, hands shivering more from nervousness than from the cold. Silently, he trots along through the puddles with her until finally, they're behind closed doors. Wordlessly, they slip past the bot at the reception desk back to Nepeta's booth.

The door is locked.

Karkat mumbles with a tinge of irritation, "What's going on?"

"Hold on a sec." She punches the door a couple of times. "Open up, Equius!"

And with the sound of the engineer's name, Karkat's heart cracks in his chest.

Why hadn't she said anything? How come she didn't just tell him that she was staying with Equius? He shakes his head. Maybe that's not the case. Perhaps… she only invited the blonde boy so that she could show him how much closer she'd become with Karkat. Yeah… that had to be the case, right?

"You… invited Equius?" He asks slowly, thinking that maybe she'd say that they were only friends now, praying furiously that maybe he still had a chance with her. But her answer doesn't provide him with much to go off of.

"Yeah. I hope you don't mind." Her voice comes out as a whisper, in spite of herself. This feels like such a passive-aggressive way to do it, but it just seems this would be the best way for her to properly convey how she feels: no worries for fumbling over words that can hurt him, just… behaving as she normally does with Equius. That would be enough to break it to him, she supposes. Anyway, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

Just then, the horse-lover opens the booth with the biggest broken-toothed smile spanning across his features.

"Ah, pleasant surprise, Nepeta!" Equius nods eagerly to Karkat. "The more, the merrier!"

As he walks in, Karkat whispers, "Nep, why the hell is he so happy to see me?"

"Uh," She lowers her voice, "Gamzee sent him some fudge bars the other day and, well… I _guess_ he ate them."

"Oh, _yes_. Indeed, I did!" Equius chimes in, surprising Nepeta. "And they were _exquisite_." Before Karkat can even say anything in response to that, Equius puts his arms around the two of them and proclaims, "Now come! I shall sing you both a song!"

Nepeta and Karkat then proceed to sit through Equius breathing heavily into the microphone as he sings a five-minute long country rock song about strong galloping stallions, the muscles under his skin rippling in tension as he strains his voice on the yell during the guitar solo. As the song ends, the horse aficionado stumbles a little bit as he backs away from the screen, but Nepeta catches him before he can really trip up.

"Careful now, Equius."

He bows slightly, "My apologies, Nepeta."

"No need to apologize." She then croons, "That was pawesome, Equius. You really rocked that song~"

"Oh! Well, thank you, Nepeta." He hands her the mic. "I'm certain you will be quite excellent with the next one."

Casting the shortest glance over to Karkat, she then asks Equius, "Actually… you wanna sing a duet?"

"Do I!" He cries eagerly. With a smile, Nepeta summons forth another microphone by tapping the plus sign on the screen, and it materializes in her moirail's hand. Turning to her as she scrolls through the song list, he asks, "Which song would you like to sing?"

"This one." She selects a pre-war excerpt from a musical that she's seen so many times. There weren't many musicals left from before the war, let alone musicals revolving around pale love stories, and this song just held such a special place in her heart. And, after all they've been through, now it holds so much more meaning for her.

She clears her throat and begins.

_I've heard it said,  
That meowrails come into our lives  
Fur a reason  
Bringing something we must learn.  
And we are led to those  
Who help us most to grow if we let them.  
And we help them in return.  
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true  
But I know I'm who I am today  
Because I knew you._

Nepeta sends a smile to Equius as she sings the last line of the verse, but right now, Karkat can care less about jealousy and heartbreak. He slips further into love with her, watching on as she pours her heart into the chorus for Equius. The smile on her lips is enough to make his lips curve upwards too. And suddenly, his need to shelter her from all of the world's harm makes his heart swell with passion. And he can't help but wonder now how he'll ever turn himself away from her. How will he get over her if it doesn't hurt him to see her in pale love with someone else? Right now… he's just happy that she's happy, even if she's happy with someone else.

Equius begins on his verse, taking Nepeta's hand into his own.

_It well may be  
That we might never meet again  
In this lifetime.  
So, let me say before we part:  
So much of me  
Is made of what I learned from you.  
You'll be with me  
Like a hoofprint on my heart.  
And now whatever way our stories terminate  
I know you'll have rewritten mine  
By being my palemate._

Karkat can't help but like Equius, seeing the tender look behind his cracked shades. It's obvious he cares about Nepeta, and, when Karkat thinks about it, the muscular teen just knows her so much better. Those two have been moirails for much longer than he and Terezi were matesprits. It only makes sense that Equius knows how to take care of her. He's the one who made her that tail, after all, and he probably knows exactly why she needs it. So… maybe Karkat was wrong to think for even a second that she'd be better off without Equius.

They then sing their mixed choruses together.

_Like a comet pulled from orbit  
(Like a ship blown from its mooring)  
As it passes a sun.  
(By a wind off the sea)  
Like a stream that meets a boulder  
(Like a seed dropped by a bird)  
Halfway through the wood.  
(In the wood)  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better.  
I do believe I have been changed for the better.  
__Because I knew you  
I have been changed...  
For good._

The black-dyed boy closed his eyes and takes in a deep breath. He can take a hint. She's made her decision… and that's exactly why Nepeta invited Karkat here today: to show him that he's not the one. Now the heartbreak is setting in. And, fuck, is heartbreak a bitch.

As the song concludes, he states solidly, "I'm going to the restroom if anyone needs me."

Nepeta notices the hurried way he leaves the booth, and excuses herself from her moirail.

* * *

The shipper girl bursts in right after Karkat as he locks himself away in a stall. The shudder in his voice as he breathes in is enough to let Nepeta know that he's crying.

"Karkat?" She asks, concerned, "What's wrong?" He remains silent, she knocks on the stall. "Karkat, please, come out. You can't just lock yourself away in there!"

"…that was pretty harsh, don't you think?"

Unsure if he's talking about what she thinks he's talking about, she says tentatively, "What was?"

"Inviting me so you could show me what a third-wheel I am." He scoffs sarcastically, sniffling, "Gee, _that_ was awfully fucking nice of you!"

"I'm sorry, I just… I didn't know how to say it without hurting your feelings. So I thought… it'd be better to show you."

"Well, _this_ wasn't any better." He murmurs. "I think I'd rather you just messaged me on Pesterchum."

"…I'm really sorry, Karkat." Silence meets her ears again, broken every now and then with a sniffle and a ragged exhale. Uncomfortable with the quiet, she then sighs, "I mean, geez, it's not like I don't love you or something anymore…"

"Wh-what?" His eyes go wide. She stiffens, realizing what she just said. But she can't take it back now. It's already out there.

"I mean, you don't just stop caring about someone, you know? Anyway…" Diverting the subject, she rubs the back of her neck, "I want to keep hanging out with you, obviously. So… don't stop visiting my place, okay? I mean, we have a script to write together, after all."

There's another pause, and Nepeta holds her breath, heart thudding in her chest nervously. She doesn't know if that was an okay thing to say to him. Nepeta hoped to bits that he didn't take it as her only valuing him as a writer, because he's so much more than just her collaborator. It's more than just a script to her. It's almost like their own private language, filled with inside jokes about Nepeta's characters and their ship names, and it's something between just the two of them. Their work together on the script means so much to her, because it reflects their history together, it reflects pieces of his and her truest selves. The fact that they share something like that is a great feeling, to know that he can trust her to read some of his most intimate thoughts and she can trust him with the same.

Karkat cracks open the door to his stall.

"Yeah. We do." Dragging his feet, he comes out. Slowly, Nepeta reaches for his hand, and he takes it cautiously. His eyes look to her hopefully.

"Come on. You haven't even sung a song yet." She smiles at him.

And he smiles back.

* * *

That night in bed, the two teens think of one another.

As Nepeta slips into slumber, she hugs her pillow tightly, curling her tail. She finds herself falling back into the feelings she first began with for him: the desire to hold him in her arms, to ensconce herself in his body's warmth, to press her feverish lips to his… and maybe go a bit further than that.

She pushes the thought out of her head. No, this isn't the way to think about him, especially not after making him cry. That feels so wrong, and anyhow… she figures, he still might be nursing a broken heart over Terezi, so no way is he going to want to jump readily into the flushed quadrant with Nepeta. He'd probably only want to be friends in the end. So why entertain the thought of something that just isn't going to happen?

Meanwhile, Karkat shifts under his covers, trying to decipher the meaning of the echo in his head.

"_I mean, geez, it's not like I don't love you or something anymore…"_

Well, she certainly didn't mean that in a pale sense. Only once in the past has he ever heard the word "love" directed at him from a friend. And it sure as hell wasn't meant in a platonic way.

_"I fuckin' lovve you, okay?"_

Ridiculous as it was, he couldn't help wonder if she was red for him again, even though it seemed more likely to him that she meant it a platonic way. Still… the idea of a matespritship with her now doesn't exactly sound unappealing. He's already plenty in love with her. He already thinks the world of her, and like hell the idea of someone treating her badly doesn't aggravate him. For a second, his blood burns his veins at the thought of her mistreatment. And then it crosses his mind briefly that he'd do whatever he could to repair the damage. He'd kiss her wounds better until the scars have all faded away, and the smile he held so dear would finally be restored to her face.

At that moment, it occurs to him that, maybe, his heart had already crossed into flushed territory. He just didn't realize it while it was happening, considering the fact that he was still untangling himself from his old, useless feelings for Terezi in the meantime. Sure, he's hanging by the threads of his former attractions to his ex, but he knows how to face facts: she's moved on.

_GC__ JUST DO WH4TS GOOD FOR YOU OK4Y? _

And he supposes… it's about time he's moved on too.

* * *

Things return back to normal almost immediately.

Karkat proceeds going back to Nepeta's house like it's no one's business, and, they get so caught up in finishing the first season of "The Vacillarette" that they nearly forgot they had a script to write. Sure, they weren't on a deadline, but Nepeta was hoping that they could finish it before the summer's end.

"School's going to start again next week," She whines, pressing her forehead against her desk, a poorly pinned photo falling off her shipping wall. It's a little disheartening, really. It makes her feel quite unaccomplished, having worked on something so long and still not having completed it.

What episode will they even end on?

"I know." Karkat groans, digging through his things for a flash drive, "Don't remind me." But secretly, he's actually a bit happy school is starting again, because, at least it means he'll see her five times a week. He extends an open hand out to her. "Give me your notebook."

"Sure thing." Nepeta mumbles, dropping the item from her sylladex app. He hands it back to her just as quickly as she gave it over, his flash drive now plugged in at the side. By this point in time, she knows the drill: look through the USB folders and double-click the most recent file. It's the script for episode eight.

The longer Nepeta sits there reading it, the more thrilled she is. And to think Karkat was worried about not being able to do her justice!

"Well," with reticence in his voice, he asks, "what do you think?"

"This is it."

He blinks at her, "What is?"

"Oh my god, Karkat. This is _it_!" She squeals, spinning around. "The climax of the series! We're nearing the end here!"

His eyes go wide. "You really think so?"

"Yeah!" Fired up, she starts going off, "Okay, here's the plan: I'm going to write episode eight, then we can work on the last episode together. Sound good to you?"

"Oho," He grins, eyes sparking with excitement, "Fuck _yes_."

"Alright then!" She flips to a new page in her notebook and opens a fresh document. "If that's the case, I better get to work!"

Karkat remains still, watching her work, hands at his sides and heart briefly fluttering in his chest as she giggles at her own jokes.


	19. EPISODE 8: Make It or Break It, Part One

Episode 8: Make It or Break It, Part One

SCENE 1

(The scene opens in Dansus's lawn ring, continuing off where episode seven left off. Gruide is riding on the back of her lusus, who pooped on Satlie's hair. As Satlie pulls her arms away to wipe the shit from her hair, Lapine is able to get out from under the snake troll.)

Gruide (swooping down to get Lapine) "Lapine! Quickly!" (Lapine takes Gruide's hand and gets on the crane lusus's back. Gruide flips Satlie the bird.) "Bye, sweetie. Hate you!"

Satlie (swooning and watching as they fly away overhead) Ooh, fuck you too, bitch~

Gruide (looking to Lapine in concern) "Are you alright?"

Lapine (coughing out more sea water) I-I'm okay.

Gruide (frowning) "I heard you shouting from the valley." (They pass over the valley, watching it burn.) "Oh my gog, are you _serious_?"

Lapine (defensively) That's Satlie's fault! She jumped me while I was lighting a cupcake liner!

Gruide (giving a sigh) "Anyway… you're safe now, and that's what counts."

Lapine (persisting) I'd put it out right now if you flew me down there, you know. I'm _not_ a vandal. (They pass over Lapine's hive.) Hey, aren't you going to drop me off at my place?

Gruide (shaking her head) "I have to go to Durpie's hive first. She asked me to fix her mechanical pencil. Also, she said she just finished the rough draft for her shoujo mecha one-shot, so I just _have_ to see it~"

Lapine Wait. Since when did you upgrade her mechanical pencil?

Gruide "Oh, _ages_ ago. I think I did it for her Wriggling Day. I know it provides a sort of sense of independence for her, to have her own weapon. That way, she won't always have to rely on REDDIE to defend her. Anyway, I'm just glad she liked it, you know?"

Lapine Huh. That was awfully sweet of you…

Gruide (shrugging) "Well, she's gotta have somebody other than her matesprit to watch her back…"

(The scene fades out.)

* * *

SCENE 2

(The scene opens at Durpie's hive, which is at the same hive-stem where Gruide lives. Gruide is sitting next to Durpie, tinkering with the mechanical pencil on her workbench. Durpie watches intently, swinging her legs back and forth.)

Durpie (cheerfully) Thanks, Gruide! This means a lot to me~

Gruide (sweetly) "Oh, it's no problem! Besides, who else could fix it but me? I was the one who added the weaponry functions in the first place."

Durpie I'm really happy that you did~ (She scoots close to Gruide and places a hand over hers. Gruide tries to lean in and palehug her, but the pencil flips when she moves and impales Durpie in the leg. Durpie goes tense.) Urk! (Quickly as possible, she removes the pencil from Durpie's leg.)

Gruide (upset) "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

Durpie (clutching her leg in pain as she flickers over to REDDIE) Gruide, sh-she's… you need to get away from me! I don't know if she wants to hurt you! (Gruide takes her new moirail into her arms, embracing her tightly.)

Gruide "No! I'm not leaving you, Durpie!"

Durpie (panicked) But, Gruide—

Gruide "I'm not going to get hurt! Don't worry… just let her." (And in that moment, REDDIE takes over.)

MustardREDDIE (growling) HOW DARE YOU TRY TO HURT HER! YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK… (REDDIE looks down to see the pencil on the ground. Then she realizes Gruide is still hugging her. Quietly, she finishes her sentence.) off. What the fuck is going on here?

Gruide (placing both hands squarely on REDDIE's shoulders and looking her in the eyes) "I wasn't attacking her. It was an accident, okay? The pencil just… flipped."

MustardREDDIE (looking at her incredulously) You've _got_ to be fucking kidding me. That's your weapon, isn't it? (She grabs Gruide's shoulders.) DON'T LIE TO ME!

Gruide (insistently) "I'm not lying!"

MustardREDDIE (scoffing) Yeah? And why the fuck should I trust you?

Gruide (firmly) "Because Durpie trusts me." (REDDIE pauses for moment, before letting her go. Gruide's eyes remain firmly on hers.) "I was fixing that weapon. I made it for her as a Wriggling Day gift."

MustardREDDIE …why?

Gruide "Because Durpie wanted to be able to defend herself without you always kicking in to save the day. She wanted to feel… like she wouldn't be helpless without you." (Gruide bends down to pick up the pencil. She sets back on the workbench, next to her tools.)

MustardREDDIE (looking down at the ground, sounding rather butthurt) You don't mean to say… that she doesn't need me anymore, do you?

Gruide "I don't mean to say that at all! I'm just saying she wanted a little sense of autonomy, you know? She's her own person, and so are you. You guys just happen to share the same body is all…" (She wipes the blood off the pencil and continues tinkering with it.)

MustardREDDIE …well. (She laughs a little.) I guess Rumnut isn't the only one who gets that.

Gruide "Can I say something to you though?"

MustardREDDIE Yeah… well, technically, no, since your mouth hasn't opened once during this entire conversation, yet somehow that hasn't stopped you from talking to me…

Gruide (with a half-smile and shrug, gesturing to her collar) "Gotta love technology…" (She shifts to place a tool to the side. Holding up the pencil to examine it, she continues on with what she was saying.) "Anyway, I guess you should know that I'm going to be Durpie's palemate now. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way."

MustardREDDIE And… where exactly are you going with this?

Gruide "Basically… I want to know if you can trust me enough to step to the side every now and then. You know, let me protect her if I'm around. Or let her protect me."

MustardREDDIE (extending her hand forward) Let me see that pencil first. (Gruide hands it over without a second thought. REDDIE clicks on it a couple of times, aiming the lead for the wall. A needle shoots out and hits the wall on point. She turns to Gruide.) What's your name again?

Gruide "I'm Gruide Sposea." (REDDIE pats her on the shoulder and hands the pencil back.)

MustardREDDIE (smiling at her) You're alright, Sposea. You're alright.

* * *

SCENE 3

(The scene opens in Durpie's living room, where Lapine is watching shoujo mecha anime on the couch. Someone knocks on the door.)

Lapine Come in! (Rumnut enters, chugging a bottle of reeb soda down.) Oh, hey Hellaz.

Rumnut (finishing up the bottle and wiping his mouth)'Sup, Hopsur. (Rumnut seats himself on the couch, slinging an arm around her. He pinches his nose mockingly and fans the air.) Ew, you smell gross!

Lapine (irritated) Well, sorry that someonetried to _drown_ me!

Rumnut (inhaling deeply) Oh. Okay, I'm catching a whiff of the ocean here. (He sniffs one more time.) And bird shit.

Lapine (growling) Fuck off.

Rumnut (suggestively) I'd rather we fuck _here_.

Lapine (blushing) You _nookwhiff_!

Rumnut Come on, don't I piss you off more than _that_?

Lapine (stuttering) A-ah, well, I-I…

Rumnut (gripping her by the collar) I want you to make me _scream_, Hopsur. Show me a good caliginous _fucking_. (He kisses her and they lead into making out. Without them noticing, REDDIE enters the room, shocked by the sight in front of her. She leaves the room as quickly as she'd come in. The screen fades out as they take off each other's shirts. It fades back in to later, with both of them in their underwear on the couch, continuing to watch more shoujo mecha anime. Their hair is messy and their clothes are lying on the floor.)

Lapine (swooning) Wow~ That was awful, I need you to do it again. (She tries to smooch him.)

Rumnut (holding up his hands to fend her off) Whoa, Bunbuns. Sorry, I don't want you to get the wrong idea.

Lapine (taken aback slightly) What do you mean?

Rumnut (tentatively) I, uh… wanted this to be like a one-time thing.

Lapine Why? Was it not enough, because I can fix that—

Rumnut No, no, that was _definitely_ more than enough. Like, _wow_. But, uh… just so we're clear, I don't hate you like that.

Lapine (softly, tinged with hurt) You… _don't_? (Rumnut turns away from her.) But, I… I'm black for you…

Rumnut (sighing) I didn't know. I'm sorry (He smiles sadly.) but I like you too much to be your kismesis. You're a really good friend to me, and I don't want to lose that. (He holds out a fist.) No hard feelings?

Lapine (smiling softly) Yeah… it's all cool. (She fist bumps him.)

(The screen briefly shifts to just outside the doorway, where REDDIE has been listening the whole time. There are dried streams of tears on her face. Then it switches back to focus on Rumnut.)

Rumnut (tentatively) So… about REDDIE… how do you feel about her?

Lapine (laughing) Oh. I don't know, I just… I can't see her as anything other than a friend. I mean, yeah, we fuck, but… I don't think I could see her in any of my quadrants, to be honest…

(The screen switches back to REDDIE, with tears running down her face again. Heartbroken, she retreats inside. Durpie comes back out. She touches her face and feels the tears, hearing Lapine and Rumnut laughing together outside.)

Durpie (whispering to herself) REDDIE… why were you crying?

Gruide (calling from the other room) "REDDIE? I'm completely done testing all the functions on the pencil now. You should let Durpie back out so she can see! And so I can ask her to be my palemate…" (Durpie is surprised, and she squeals joyfully to herself upon the discovery that Gruide feels the same way.)

Durpie (excitedly) Just a second! (Durpie runs eagerly into the other room to see Gruide.)

—END OF EPISODE 8—


End file.
